Scream Queens (TV Series)

Thanksgiving (2015)

Emma Roberts: Chanel Oberlin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chanel Oberlin : [playing Pictionary]  I'm sorry, but someone needs to contact the good people at Hasbro, because the odds of you picking "neck brace whore" are astronomical. I'm fairly certain this board game has been tampered with.

• Chad Radwell : Are you saying you killed Hester?

  Chanel Oberlin : Gravity killed Hester. I just gave her a little push.

• [Chanel opens the meat locker and discovers another corpse has vanished] 

  Chanel Oberlin : No friggin' way! Where is she? I don't understand how this keeps happening! Is this meat locker like a wormhole to an alternate universe or something?

• Bunny Radwell : [Hester has unexpectedly shown up at the Radwells']  I beg your pardon, but who are you?

  Chad Radwell : Uh, she is my... sober coach.

  Chanel Oberlin : What?

  Tad Radwell : Chad, I didn't know you had a drinking problem.

  Chad Radwell : Neither did I. That is how insidious alcoholism is, dad.

• [Chanel tells Chad that she killed Hester] 

  Chad Radwell : What did you do with body?

  Chanel Oberlin : Duh! I put it in the meat locker. That's where we've been putting all the dead bodies.

  Chad Radwell : Oh my God. Chanel, that is so hot! I wanna see it! I need to see the body! We can have a three-way with the body!

  Chanel Oberlin : What? No!

  Chad Radwell : Oh come on, I need this! If you expect me to take our relationship to the next level by taking you home to the Hamptons for Thanksgiving, you're gonna have to prove to me you can meet my needs.

  Chanel Oberlin : Fine, I'll show you the body - but not so you can have sex with it!

• Chanel Oberlin : Hester, I owe you an apology. Yes, I did push you down the stairs in an attempt to murder you and your fake unborn baby. And while my motivations were airtight and my conscience clear, still... I'm sorry. You, Chanel #6, are my sister, and that bond is stronger than some silly little attempt on your life.

• Chad Radwell : Listen, I'm not a detective or anything, but what if Hester was never dead and she just managed to escape?

  Chanel Oberlin : That's not possible! I watched her fall down the stairs!

  Chad Radwell : After she fell down the stairs did you check her pulse?

  Chanel Oberlin : No, Chad, because I'm not like a registered nurse!

  Chad Radwell : Well Chanel, it seems to me like you tried to kill Hester and totally failed, so you should probably bring a security detail with you to The Hamptons because, I mean, the girl's insane and she'll probably stop at nothing to get her revenge by murdering you.

• Chanel Oberlin : How are you alive?

  Hester Ulrich : Good thing I was wearing this neck brace when you pushed me down the stairs because it saved my life! And laying me on the ground in the meat locker was the perfect thing to do. The hard slab of the cold steel curbed the swelling in my spinal column. When I woke up and regained consciousness, I felt better than ever! Really, I should be thanking you right now. That fall? It might have cured me of my severe scoliosis!

• Chad Radwell : Hello, I'm Chad Radwell. This year, I'm thankful for someone who's very special to me. Without this person, I wouldn't be the man I am right now. In fact, I wouldn't be here at all.

  [Chanel assumes he's talking about her] 

  Chad Radwell : I am, of course, referring to the serial killer who is stalking the campus of Wallace University. I am so thankful that he, for whatever reason, has not murdered me yet. I am so, so grateful.

  Bunny Radwell : I'm also thankful to that serial killer for not killing you, Chad. And that you will have a long, long, long life. You have such a vast future ahead of you.

  [intentionally goading Chanel] 

  Bunny Radwell : You'll meet so many new and different women! So many wonderful women to go out with, and break up with, and move on from!

  Chanel Oberlin : Well, you should be thankful that this table is too long for me to reach across and strangle you, bitch!

• Chanel Oberlin : No one deserves to be spoken to like that, particularly not by what is without a doubt the most awful family in America! Chad, your leathery excuse for a mother looks like an ostrich hide clutch from last season that somehow learned to talk! And Mr. Radwell, I have never seen anyone spend so much money to make a house look this tacky! I've honestly seen more tasteful décor at a Sizzler. And you, Thad, have a bright future ahead of you in the sex offender wing of a super-max prison!

• [on the telephone] 

  Chanel Oberlin : Hello, mother, it's me. Chanel Oberlin, your daughter! What, are you drunk? Okay, drunk on wine is still drunk, mother.

• Chanel Oberlin : Chad, your father just offered me fifty thousand dollars to leave the house and never come back!

  Chanel Oberlin : Well, I don't wanna sound like a dick here, but have you ever considered maybe you should leave? I mean, with you and Hester here, this Thanksgiving, it's spiraling out of control! And later tonight, we're about to get together and play Pictionary. And as it stands now, that game of Pictionary is gonna be super awkward.