- Felicity: Technically, women could do without men. Men couldn't reproduce without women. Look at chickens, the way chickens are farmed.
- Harry: Chickens?
- Felicity: Yeah, they gas them, at birth. Then they just keep one or two to do the necessary.
- Gillian: Yeah, it's, it's the same with sheep and cattle, only, well, we don't gas the boys. We, we eat them.
- Raff: Could you stop waving that carving knife around when you've had so much to drink?
- Felicity: I don't know what men are for. Do you, Gillian?
- Gillian: Uh, it's... Um, they're for, um...
- [looks at Robbie]
- Gillian: I don't mind them.
- Gillian: We can be friends. But that's got to be it.
- John: No. Why?
- Gillian: You're...
- [shakes her head]
- Gillian: You turn up, you go out, and you buy a load of wine... at lunchtime. I didn't get anything done yesterday afternoon.
- John: Well, it's nice, occasionally, to...
- Gillian: I can't be getting into all that.
- John: I didn't physically pour it down your neck.
- Gillian: I know. I did. I'm not blaming you, beyond the point of bringing the stuff in. It's me. I'm ridiculous. I'm rubbish. I can't be trusted. But what I don't need is someone who's no better than I am.
- John: We're very alike, you and me.
- Gillian: No... I mean, yeah, in a bad way.
- John: Marriage vows, they're so ancient, they're so elderly, they're so... Actually, today, those two, she's 47, Kate's 43, maybe that works. Maybe they will forsake all others 'til death do they part. But come on, you can't say that at 24 and know what you're buying into. Not when people live to be 90. It's all right when you drop dead at 27 of plague or smallpox. 'Cause there was a built-in exit through the whole damn pantomime, but come on.
- Gillian: [laughing] Do you know, I know what you're saying.
- John: You do! 'Course you do! You're an adventurer. You're a buccaneer. You live life. That's why you're so exciting, you silly bitch.
- Gillian: Yeah, 'til the next thing comes along.
- John: A woman like you shouldn't have to work at a checkout.
- Gillian: There's nothing wrong with working at a checkout. If people didn't work at checkouts, snobby piss-heads like you wouldn't have anyone to buy their Rioja off.
- John: This is undoubtedly true.
- Gillian: In fact, people like you only exist to keep the checkout assistant amused. Did you not know that? Paying 14 pound 99 la-di-da for something a French paysan wouldn't chuck over a casserole.
- John: Ooh, listen to you!
- Harry: I'm pissed off with Alan. Where is he?
- Gillian: He's at a dykey lesbian wedding in Harrogate.
- Harry: And you should've told me and all!
- Gillian: About what?
- Harry: Our Ellie... dropping out of school to do that bloody silly job in that supermarket. I only found out about it just now 'cause I went in there to buy some bananas and four pack of baked beans.
- Gillian: She's 17. I said, I told her you ring your mother, you talk to her, you tell her. I can't nanny people.
- Harry: What's he doing at a lesbian wedding?
- Gillian: Oh, Caroline.
- Harry: Aren't you there?
- Gillian: Yes, I am. I'm there right now, Harry. I'm in two places at once.
- Harry: Hm. I don't know why you're being so snippy. It's my granddaughter who's chucking her life down the drain.
- [first lines]
- Caroline: I solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, Caroline Elizabeth Dawson, may not be joined in matrimony to you, Katherine Ibeke McKenzie.
- Registrar: I solemnly declare..
- Kate: I solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, Katherine Ibeke McKenzie, may not be joined in matrimony to you, Caroline Elizabeth Dawson.
- Caroline: I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, Caroline Elizabeth Dawson, do take you, Katherine Ibeke McKenzie, to be my lawfully wedded wife.
- Registrar: Caroline Elizabeth Dawson, will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to love her, to comfort her, to honour and keep her and forsaking all others as long as you both shall live?
- Caroline: I will.
- Registrar: Katherine Ibeke McKenzie, will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to love her, to comfort her, to honour and keep her and forsaking all others as long as you both shall live?
- Kate: I will.
- Caroline: I, Caroline Elizabeth Dawson, take you, Katherine Ibeke McKenzie, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish from this day forward.
- Registrar: Caroline and Kate have given their consent and made their marriage vows to each other. They've declared their marriage by the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of rings. I now pronounce you spouses for life. Congratulations.