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Cheap, lame generic porn
lor_26 March 2015
Just like the old days of Videoshack and RKO Video stores in the '80s, this series presents poorly made porn that is little more than an attractive box cover, supposedly catchy title and wall-to-wall generic sex inside.

It would be interesting to see a breakdown of the budgets and schedules for this junk, as every corner has been cut for efficiency's sake. The 5 segments feature pretty and/or sexy girls (thanks for that at least) but the video action is shot real-time, with less editing than Hitchcock's famous real-time movie experiment ROPE and some of the worst verbal set-up scenes I've witnessed in porn to date.

It's Warhol of the '60s time all over again, as the Thomas Edison of cinema porn showed the way with non-actors improvising confrontational dialog to put the other party on the spot. Throwing in the word "dad" is the only perceptible story device, as couples briefly argue about the correctness of banging daddy's girlfriend, and then merely do so. Dad never shows up, there is no exterior footage, a single camera set-up per unedited 20 to 35 minute sex scene, and no credits at all. This video is so lame that there is no connection between the segments in the form of a loop carrier -merely a menu to pick which of the 5 you want to jerk off to at a given sitting.

The quality of the segments depends entirely on whether this or that model turns you on, a criterion for the undiscriminating porn consumer that is difficult to argue with. Lou Lou from England has a nice accent but doesn't impress me; likewise cover girl Alexis Ford is way too fake in both the breasts and blonde hair department in somebody's misguided quest for a Barbie Doll look.

Bella Reese is busty and hot, but can be seen to far greater advantage in storyline features on the market. Margo Russo speaks with such a thick Eastern European accent that her career must be limited to gonzo, and her would-be Marilyn Monroe lookalike aspect was far better achieved in the '80s by imports like Olinka Hardiman.

Lastly Zoe Holiday is a ringer -she has huge natural-seeming breasts, but is not attractive (the face, the face) and paired with Johnny Castle she seems more MILF than necessary. Castle appears in two segments back-to-back (I'm recalibrating this DVD based on the menu to consecutive track sequencing like an old LP was configured, even though this setup is more akin to microfiche), completely destroying any illusion of even momentary "characterization". Perhaps porn fans have devolved to the point where they just watch a Johnny Castle being Johnny Castle and that's enough - porn moving closer to prostitution (the kind where the "john" is paying just to watch, not participate, as sex acts are performed) than ever before.

So if this is the future of porn, then it has already arrived. I have a strong feeling that video streaming of generic porn will soon kill off this level of crap entirely.
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