Avengers: Endgame (2019)
Chris Hemsworth: Thor
Photos
Quotes
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Thor : [after Steve Rogers calls Mjolnir to himself during the final battle with Thanos] I knew it!
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Thor : I can't do this. I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't have come. This is a bad idea.
Rocket : Come here.
Thor : [starts breathing heavily] No, no, I think I'm having... I'm having a panic attack.
Rocket : Come here.
Thor : I shouldn't be here. This is... this is ba...
[Rocket slaps Thor in the face]
Rocket : You think you're the only one that lost people? What do you think we're doin' here? I lost the only family I ever had. Quill, Groot, Drax, the chick with the antenna - all gone! Now, I get that you miss your mom, but she's gone. *Really* gone. And there are plenty of people who are only *kinda* gone. And you can help them. So is it too much to ask that you brush the crumbs out of your beard, make schmoopy talk to pretty pants and when she's not lookin', suck out the Infinity Stone and help me get my family back?
Thor : [tearing up] Okay.
Rocket : Are you crying?
Thor : [wheezing] No... yes.
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[spoiler]
Frigga : You're not the Thor I know at all, are you?
Thor : Yes, I am.
Frigga : The future hasn't been kind to you, has it?
Thor : I didn't say I was from the future.
Frigga : I was raised by witches, boy. I see with more than eyes and you know that.
Thor : [starts crying] I'm totally from the future.
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Bruce Banner : We'd be going in shorthanded, you know?
James Rhodes : Look, he's still got the Stones, so...
Carol Danvers : So, let's get them. Use them to bring everyone back.
Bruce Banner : Just like that?
Steve Rogers : Yeah, just like that.
Natasha Romanoff : Even if there's a small chance that we can undo this, I mean, we owe it to everyone who is not in this room, to try.
Bruce Banner : If we do this, how do we know it's going to end any differently than it did before?
Carol Danvers : Because before, you didn't have me.
James Rhodes : Hey, new girl? Everybody in this room is about that superhero life. And, if you don't mind my asking, where the hell have you been all this time?
Carol Danvers : There are a lot of other planets in the universe, and, unfortunately, they didn't have you guys.
Thor : [Stands up and walks to Danvers. They meet eye-to-eye. Thor summons Stormbreaker, which whizzes right past Danvers' head. She doesn't even flinch, and then smiles] I like this one.
Steve Rogers : Let's go get this son of a bitch.
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Clint Barton : We can't bring her back.
Thor : I'm sorry, no offence, but you're a very earthly being, okay, and we're talking about space magic. It can seem very difficult...
Clint Barton : Yeah, look, I know I'm way outside my pay rate here, but she's still dead, isn't she? It *can't* be undone! Or, at least that's what the red floating guy had to say! Maybe you ought to go talk to him! Okay, go grab your hammer, and you find and talk to him! It was supposed to be me. Sacrificed her life for that goddamned stone, she put her life on it.
Bruce Banner : She's not coming back. We have to make it worth it. We have to.
Steve Rogers : We will
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Thor : Let's kill him properly this time.
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Steve Rogers : On my way down to coordinate search-and-rescue.
[Loki shapeshifts into Captain America]
Loki : [impersonating Steve] "On my way down to coordinate search-and-rescue!"
[Loki reverts to his true form]
Loki : I mean, honestly, how do you even...
[Thor puts a gag in Loki's mouth, silencing him]
Thor : Shut. Up.
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Thor : [arguing over which Avenger is strong enough to wield the Infinity Gauntle] Do you know what is coursing through my veins right now?
James Rhodes : Cheez Whiz?
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Korg : [playing Fortnite] Thor, he's back. That kid on the TV just called me a dickhead again.
Thor : Noobmaster.
Korg : Yeah, Noobmaster69.
Thor : [takes the headset] Noobmaster, hey, it's Thor again. You know, the God of Thunder? Listen, buddy, if you don't log off this game immediately, I am gonna fly over to your house, come down to that basement you're hiding in, rip off your arms and shove them up your butt! Oh, that's right, yes, go cry to your father, you little weasel!
Korg : Thank you, Thor.
Thor : Let me know if he bothers you again, okay?
Korg : Thank you very much, I will.
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Thor : [Swapping his hammer, with the axe that Steve Rogers is holding] You take the small one.
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Thor : I love you mom.
Frigga : I love you...
[hugs him]
Frigga : and eat a salad.
Rocket : C'mon, we gotta go.
[Prepares them for time travel; Frigga mouths "Goodbye" to Thor]
Rocket : 3... 2...
Thor : No, wait!
[Sticks his hand out. Nothing happens]
Rocket : What-what am I looking at?
Frigga : Oh, sometimes it takes a second.
Thor : [after a couple more seconds, Mjolnir flies into Thor's hand. He laughs in relief] I'm still worthy!
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Thor : Look, sitting there staring at that going is not going to bring everybody back. I'm the strongest avenger, okay, so this responsibility falls upon me. It's my duty.
Tony Stark : No, no, listen...
Thor : Let me! Let me do it. Let me do something good, something right.
Tony Stark : No, it's not just the fact that that glove's channeling enough energy to char a continent. I'm telling you, you're in no condition to.
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[in 2012, Thor, Tony, Loki, and others are in an elevator when Hulk tries to enter]
Thor : Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Tony Stark : What are you thinking? Maximum occupancy has been reached.
Thor : Take the stairs.
Tony Stark : Yes.
[Hulk starts raging as the doors are closing]
Tony Stark : Stop, stop!
[Hulk punches the elevator door]
Hulk : [muttering to himself] Take the stairs. Hate the stairs!
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[Carol and Bruce, wearing the Hulkbuster armor, restrain Thanos, and Thor chops off his left arm with Stormbreaker. As Steve, Rhodey and Natasha enter, Rocket turns the gauntlet over to find the Infinity Stones missing]
Rocket : Oh no...
Steve Rogers : [to Thanos] Where are they?
Carol Danvers : Answer the question.
Thanos : The universe required correction. After that, the stones served no purpose beyond temptation.
Bruce Banner : YOU MURDERED TRILLIONS!
[Banner shoves Thanos to the ground]
Thanos : You should be grateful.
Natasha Romanoff : Where are the Stones?
Thanos : Gone. Reduced to atoms.
Bruce Banner : You used them two days ago!
Thanos : I used the Stones to destroy the Stones. It nearly killed me, but the work is done. It always will be. I am... inevitable.
James Rhodes : We have to tear this place apart. He has to be lying.
Nebula : My father is many things. A liar is not one of them.
Thanos : Ah. Thank you, daughter. Perhaps I treated you too harshly...
[Thor brings Stormbreaker down, decapitating Thanos]
Rocket : What did you do?
Thor : I went for the head.
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Tony Stark : What's he been doing?
Thor : Absolutely nothing.
Steve Rogers : Where are the stones?
Tony Stark : Somewhere under all this. All I know is he doesn't have them.
Steve Rogers : So we keep it that way.
Thor : You know it's a trap, right?
Tony Stark : Yeah, I don't much care.
Thor : Good. Just as long as we're all in agreement
[Summons Mjolnir and Stormbreaker]
Thor : Let's kill him properly this time.
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Drax : [Thor and Quill are arguing about leadership] You should fight one another for the honor of leadership.
Nebula : Sounds fair.
Peter Quill : It's not necessary. Okay?
Thor : It's not.
Rocket : I got some blasters unless you guys wanna use knives.
Mantis : Oh, yes. Please use knives.
Drax : Yeah, knives.
Groot : I am Groot.
Thor : [Thor and Quill both laugh] Not necessary. There should be no knifing one another. Everybody knows who's in charge.
Peter Quill : [after a few seconds of awkward silence] Me, right?
Thor : Yes, you. Of course! Of course.
[whispering]
Thor : Of course.
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Steve Rogers : So, let's start with the Aether. Thor, what do you know?
Natasha Romanoff : Is he asleep?
James Rhodes : No. I'm pretty sure he's dead.
Thor : Ah, where to start? Um, the Aether. Firstly, not a stone. Someone called it a stone before... it's more of an angry sludge sort of thing so, someone's gonna need to amend that and stop saying that. Here's an interesting story though about the Aether: my grandfather, many years ago, had to hide the stone from the Dark Elves. Scary beings. So Jane, actually, actually, actually Jane is a, is a old flame of mine. Uh, you know she, she stuck her hand inside a rock this one time and, and then the Aether stuck itself inside her, and she became very, very sick and so I had to take her to Asgard which is where I'm from, and we had to try and fix her. We were dating at the time. See I got to, I got to introduce her to my mother who's dead. And um, oh you know and Jane and I aren't even dating anymore so...
[Hulk gestures for Stark to cut off Thor]
Thor : these things happen though you know. Nothing lasts forever. The only thing that...
Tony Stark : Why don't you come and sit down?
Thor : I'm not done. The only thing that is permanent in life is impermanence.
Tony Stark : Eggs? Breakfast?
Thor : No. I'd like a Bloody Mary.
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Thor : [enters the Guardians' ship] Well, the Asgardians of the Galaxy back together again.
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Thor : [Bruce and Rocket are trying to convince Thor to come back to the Avengers] Just stop, okay. I know you think I'm down here wallowing in my own self-pity waiting to be rescued and saved, but I'm fine. Okay, *we're* fine.
Korg : We're good here, mate.
Thor : So whatever it is that you're offering, we're not into it, don't care, couldn't care less. Goodbye.
Bruce Banner : We need you, pal.
[Thor nods and takes a drink of beer]
Rocket : There's beer on the ship.
Thor : [after a pause] What kind?
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Valkyrie : So, when can we expect you back?
Thor : Uhhmm... about that...
Valkyrie : Thor. Your people need a king.
Thor : No, they already have one.
Valkyrie : That's funny. You're being serious?
Thor : It's time for me to be who I am rather than who I'm supposed to be. But you, you're a leader. That's who you are.
Valkyrie : You know I'd make a lot of changes around here.
Thor : I'm counting on it. Your Majesty.
Valkyrie : What will you do?
Thor : I'm not sure. For the first time in a thousand years, I... I have no path. I do have a ride, though.
Rocket : Move it or lose it, hairbag.
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Thor : [seeing Cap wielding Mjolnir] I knew it!
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Thor : So you guys want a drink? What are you drinking? We have beer, tequila, all sorts of things.
Bruce Banner : Buddy, you all right?
Thor : Yes, I'm fine! Why, don't I look all right?
Rocket : You look like melted ice cream.
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Thor : So, you guys want a drink? What are we drinking? I've got beer, tequila, all sorts of things.
[Thor drinks his beer]
Bruce Banner : Buddy, you all right?
Thor : Yes, I'm fine. Why? Why, don't I look all right?
Rocket : You look like melted ice cream.
[Thor laughs]
Thor : So, what's up? You just here for a hang, or what?
Bruce Banner : We need your help.
Thor : Mm.
Bruce Banner : There might be a chance we could fix everything.
Thor : What, like the cable?
[burps]
Thor : 'Cause that's been driving me bananas for weeks.
Bruce Banner : Like Thanos.
[Thor pauses, then grabs Banner by the coat, pointing at him]
Thor : Don't say that name.
Korg : Um, yeah, we don't actually say that name in here.
[pause]
Bruce Banner : Please take your hand off me.
[Thor lets go of Banner]
Bruce Banner : Now, I know that... guy... might scare you.
Thor : Why would I be...?
[scoffs]
Thor : Why would I be scared of that guy? I'm the one who killed that guy, remember?
Bruce Banner : Hmm.
Thor : Anyone else here kill that guy?
[pause]
Thor : Nope. Didn't think so. Korg, why don't you, uh, tell everybody who chopped Thanos' big head off?
Korg : Um, Stormbreaker?
Thor : Who was swinging Stormbreaker?
Bruce Banner : I get it. You're in a rough spot, okay? I've been there myself. And you want to know who helped me out of it?
Thor : Was it Natasha?
Bruce Banner : It was you. You helped me.
Thor : So, why don't you ask... the Asgardians down there... how much my help is worth?
[Thor sits down]
Thor : The ones that are left, anyway.
Bruce Banner : I think we could bring them back.
Thor : Stop. Stop, okay? I know you think I'm down here wallowing in my own self-pity, waiting to be rescued and, and saved, but I'm fine, okay. We're fine, aren't we?
Korg : Oh, we're good here, mate.
Thor : So, whatever it is that you're offering, we're not into it. Don't care. Couldn't care less. Goodbye.
Bruce Banner : We need you, pal.
[pause, as Thor finishes his beer]
Rocket : There's beer on the ship.
Thor : What kind?
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Alexander Pierce : May I ask where you where you're going?
Thor : Bit of lunch and then Asgard. I'm sorry, you are...?
Tony Stark : Alexander Pierce. He's the man above the folks behind Nick Fury.
Thor : Oh.
Alexander Pierce : My friends call me Mr. Secretary. I'm gonna have to ask you to turn that prisoner over to me.
Thor : Uh, Loki will be answering to Odin himself.
Alexander Pierce : No, he's gonna answer to us. Odin can have what's left. And I'm gonna need that case. That's been S.H.I.E.L.D. property for over 70 years.
Tony Stark : [Future Tony, to Ant-Man] All right, move it, Stuart Little. Things are getting dicey out here. Let's go.
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[Banner and Rocket enter Thor's house]
Rocket : What the...?
[Rocket sniffs around]
Rocket : Whew! Something died in here!
Bruce Banner : Hello? Thor?
Thor : Are you here about the cable? The Cinemax went out two weeks ago, and the sports are all fuzzy and, uh, whatnot.
Bruce Banner : Thor?
[Thor grabs a beer and turns around. Banner is shocked at how much weight Thor put on]
Thor : Boys! Oh my God!
[Thor hugs Banner]
Thor : Oh my God, it's so good to see you!
[Thor looks at Rocket before smothering him]
Thor : Come here, cuddly little rascal.
Rocket : Yeah, no, I'm good. I'm good. That's not necessary.
Thor : Hulk, you know my friends Miek and Korg, right?
Korg : Hey, boys!
Bruce Banner : Hey guys. Long time no see.
Korg : Beer's in the bucket. Feel free to log on to the wi-fi. No password, obviously.
[pause, then Korg points at the TV]
Korg : Thor, he's back. That kid on the TV just called me a dickhead again.
[Miek throws a pizza slice at the TV]
Thor : Noobmaster.
Korg : Yeah, Noobmaster69 called me a dickhead.
Thor : I am sick of this.
[Thor grabs Korg's headset]
Thor : Noobmaster, hey, it's Thor again. You know, the God of Thunder. Listen, bud, if you don't log off this game immediately, I am gonna fly over to your house, come down to that basement you're hiding in, rip off your arms, and shove them up your butt! Oh, that's right? Yes. Go cry to your father, you little weasel.
[Thor hands the headset back to Korg]
Korg : Thank you, Thor.
Thor : Let me know if he bothers you again, okay?
Korg : Thank you very much. I will.
