Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
Ben Schwartz: Sonic
Photos
Quotes
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Sonic the Hedgehog : Where am I? What year is it? Is the Rock president?
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Sonic the Hedgehog : Oh my God, stop the car right now!
Tom Wachowski : What? What?
Sonic the Hedgehog : [sees sign] The World's Largest Rubber Band Ball? We gotta see it!
Tom Wachowski : No, this is not some fun family road tr-
[sees Sonic isn't there. He suddenly comes back, with souvenirs]
Sonic the Hedgehog : Eh, you were right. It was lame. Gift shop was cool, though.
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Sonic the Hedgehog : Your egg drones are impressive, Eggman! But face it, you'll never catch me!
Dr. Ivo Robotnik : Confidence... a fool's substitute for intelligence!
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Sonic : I'm wet, I'm cold, there's a fish on my head, and clearly I'm not gonna be able to do this on my own!
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[Robotnik corners Tom, Maddie and Sonic]
Sonic : That's not good.
Tom : Uhh, Sonic? I know you've got the super-speed, and everything, but Maddie and I?
Sonic : Totally defenseless? Probably gonna get blown up?
Maddie : Pretty much, yeah.
Sonic : Don't worry. I know exactly what to do.
[throws Tom and Maddie off the tower]
Dr. Robotnik : I was not expecting that!... But I was expecting to not expect something, so it doesn't count.
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Sonic : [takes down Robotnik's truck] Is that all you got?
Dr. Robotnik : No, but thank you for asking.
[deploys vehicles from his truck]
Sonic : Uh-oh.
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Sonic : This is MY power, and I'm not using it to run away any more! I'm using it to protect my friends!
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Crazy Carl : I know you're out there! And I know you're real!
Sonic : No, I'm not!
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Sonic : So, as I crashed into the cold dark water of the Pacific, I realized a few things: A - I have no idea where I'm going. B - Salt water stings. C - I shouldn't even be on this planet right now, but I am! Why? Because you shot me!
Tom : I know.
Sonic : YOU SHOT ME!
Tom : All right. I heard you the first time. You don't have to pile it on. Good grief.
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[first lines]
[Dr Robotnik chases Sonic through San Francisco]
Sonic : So, I know what you're thinking: Why is that incredibly handsome hedgehog being chased by a madman with a mustache from the Civil War? Well, to be honest, it feels like I've been running my whole life. Is this too much? Am I going too fast? It's kinda what I do. You know what? Let's back up!
[goes to Sonic's childhood]
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Sonic : [watching the movie Speed] Pop quiz, hot shot. Classic line.
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Sonic : [Tom finds Sonic in his home; he shrugs] Uhhh... meow?
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Sonic : Say hi to Crazy Carl. He calls me the Blue Devil.
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[Sonic plays baseball with himself, but it doesn't work out]
Sonic : I really am alone. All alone. Forever.
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Sonic : I'm Sonic. A little ball of super energy, in an extremely handsome package. On my planet, people were always after my powers. So I came to yours. It gets a little lonely, but that's okay. I am living my best life on earth.
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Tom : All right, there's gonna be rules on this trip. Number one: do exactly as I say all the time. Got it?
Sonic : Got it, Donut Lord.
Tom : Would you stop with the "Donut Lord"? I have a name. It's Tom.
Sonic : I'm Sonic.
Tom : Sonic... Sonic. So you've been spying on us all years?
Sonic : I mean I wouldn't call it spying. We were all just hanging out only I wasn't invited and no one knew that I was there.
Tom : I can't believe Crazy Carl was right all this time.
Sonic : Yeah, you should call him Super Observant Carl instead!
Tom : Uh-huh.
Sonic : Oh my God! Stop the car right now!
Tom : What? What?
Sonic : The World's largest rubber band ball! We gotta see it!
Tom : No, no, no! This is not some family road trip, okay? The government wants to dissect you and arrest me! This is serious!
[Sonic runs out of the car and then back in one second with souvenirs]
Sonic : Meh, you were right: It was lame. Gift shop was cool though, I got you a mouse pad. When are we gonna get there?
Tom : We will get there when we get there!
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Sonic : The floors were sticky, the crowd was rough, and the odds were against us, but there was no stopping Donut Lord and the Blue Blur!
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Sonic : [driving a car for the first time] I feel just like Vin Diesel! It's all about family, Tom.
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Sonic : Turns out, with great power comes great power-hungry guys!
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Sonic : My favourite person is the Donut Lord, protector of this town and defender of all creatures big and small! Donut Lord lives with Pretzel Lady. She is super nice to animals and, strangely, was born without bones.
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Sonic : [Sonic is in a duffle bag] How much longer? I can't breathe in here!
Businesswoman : Do you have your child in that bag?
Tom : [completely nonchalantly] No. I mean, yes, it's a child, but it's not mine.
Businessman : [disturbed] ... that's not your child?
[both bystanders nervously edge away]
Sonic : This is worse than the dog cage you kept me in!
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Sonic : Guess what, Eggman! I'm not leaving Earth! YOU are!
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[Dr Robotnik chases Sonic through San Francisco]
Sonic : So, here we are again. We've been through so much together! Now you understand why there's a psychotic robot doctor chasing a supersonic blue hedgehog! Wanna know how it ends? Yeah, me too!
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Tom Wachowski : Come on. Come on.
Sonic : How much longer? I can't breathe in here. Hello? Anybody there?
Businesswoman : Do you have your child in that bag?
Tom Wachowski : No. I mean yes, it's a child, but it's not mine.
Businessman : It's not your child?
Tom Wachowski : Relax, I'm a cop, okay? Plus he likes it in there, don't you, buddy?
Sonic : Why would I like it in here? This is worse than the dog cage you had me in earlier.
Tom Wachowski : Such a kidder.
Maddie : Okay.
Sonic : No, I'm scared of the dark! Is anybody there?
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[Tom and Sonic running away from a gang bikers]
Sonic : Watch this... Watch this... I've always wanted to do this
[jumps and slides across the hood and goes into the truck]
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Sonic : Did you see how much toilet paper I used? The next person that goes into that bathroom will have nothing to wipe with.
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Sonic : How could something so adorable be so terrible?
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[Tom tries to get rid of a Robotnik bomb]
Sonic : It's going, it's going... it's still there.
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Sonic : This is Green Hills, the greatest place on Earth! These are my people, and I am their lovable space creature! So what if they don't know I exist?
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Sonic : So what were you expecting, a dirty little hedgehog eating berries and struggling to survive? Think again! Because I am living my best life on Earth!
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Sonic : I was born with extraordinary powers. I was told to keep them a secret. And like any kid, I did the exact opposite.
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Dr. Robotnik : Welcome to San Francisco, Mr. Wachowski. Are you enjoying the clam chowder?
Tom : It's the government wack-job who keeps trying to kill us, UNSUCCESSFULLY! Nice of you to swing by on your way to Comic-Con.
Maddie : Yeah, what are you wearing?
Dr. Robotnik : It's a flight suit, designed to modulate my body temperature and reduce drag!
Tom : And yet, you still are one.
Dr. Robotnik : Woo-hoo, good one! You are catching fire, Thomas. Oh, and speaking of heat, I see you've taken a lover. Does she have a name or should we just call her "collateral damage"?
Tom : Hey, watch your mouth, unless you want a little more of what I gave you earlier.
[to Maddie]
Tom : I punched him in the face.
Sonic : Oh, you punched him right in the face, it was awesome!
Dr. Robotnik : The time for talking is over! It's time to push buttons!
Sonic : Your flying eggs are pretty impressive, Mr. Eggman, but let's face it: You'll never catch me!
Dr. Robotnik : Confidence. A fool's substitute for intelligence.
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[on South Island]
Sonic : This is the island where I'm from. It had everything: sandy beaches, cascading waterfalls, public access to loop-the-loops! And I never had to catch a schoolbus because I can run across the island in less than two seconds - also, there was no school. I know, pretty sweet island, right?
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Sonic : I'm sorry I was so hard on you. I know it's a tough decision for you to leave Green Hills. Walking away from something you care about... has to be painful.
Tom : You're not sure you really wanna go, huh?
Sonic : I don't wanna go! But I can't stay. As long as I'm here, I put everyone in danger. I can't do that. I just want you to know that these last two days... have been the best two days of my life.
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Sonic : I was forced from my home! Your home is PERFECT, and you're leaving it! Why would you DO that?
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[Robotnik finds Sonic's glowing blue quill]
Dr. Robotnik : Look at that. I was right. Note the lack of surprise. Shall we try this again?
[whistles "Ride of the Valkyries" as a large drone floats in through the front door; Sonic fearfully watches from under a table as the drone deploys guns and aims at Tom]
Dr. Robotnik : I'm going to give you five seconds to tell me where it is. Five...
Tom Wachowski : I don't know what you're talking about.
Dr. Robotnik : Four...
Tom Wachowski : [shows his badge] Hey, tough guy, I'm a cop, and you're threatening an officer.
Dr. Robotnik : How can you threaten somebody who never existed? Three... Come on! Rack your brain! You might be able to come up with some lame excuse to go on living, in two... *One*!
Sonic the Hedgehog : [shows himself] Wait! Don't hurt him!
[Robotnik screams; Tom punches him]
