- Sue Wilson: The oath will take place tomorrow at 12:00 noon.
- Selina Meyer: Yes.
- Sue Wilson: You will then acquire the nuclear codes.
- Ben Cafferty: Goodbye, China.
- Selina Meyer: Hey, where is this photo op, Amy?
- Amy Brookheimer: It's at a factory that makes protective gear for firefighters.
- Amy Brookheimer: I think that's great, ma'am. Everybody loves firefighters. Everybody wants to keep them safe.
- Selina Meyer: Yeah, everybody wants to fuck 'em, too. God, I would love to fuck a firefighter. Hey, I'm the president. I can fuck anybody I want now, right?
- Amy Brookheimer: All the other ones have.
- Mike McLintock: It's good we won Dixville Notch.
- Dan Egan: It's got a population of 12, Mike.
- Mike McLintock: I know, Dan, but it's famous.
- Gary Walsh: Our Lord Jesus started with 12.
- Ben Cafferty: Well, he didn't win New Hampshire either.
- Ben Cafferty: Ma'am, you need to decide your first international visit.
- Selina Meyer: It's not going to be Canada, and I wanna get rid of Leslie Carr. She has no fucking energy, ironically.
- Ben Cafferty: It has to be Canada. Always is. Otherwise they sulk.
- Selina Meyer: Listen, let 'em sulk. I mean, who's gonna notice?
- Sue Wilson: Ma'am? Secretary Maddox would like a meeting, stat.
- Selina Meyer: No. Stat. He's useless. He's a one-inch cock.