Lewis Lovhaug: Linkara

Quotes 

• Kopec : [battling a Corporate Raider]  Bl'k Monday - what a joke. By the time I'm done with you, you'll be Black and Blue Tuesday!

  Linkara : Personally, I don't care if Monday's blue, Tuesday's gray, and Wednesday, too. And Thursday, I don't care about you.

• Alien Pro Wrestler 1 : [seeing the Nova Girls]  Are those three hot or what?

  Alien Pro Wrestler 2 : I prefer my women with scales, thank you very much.

  Linkara : Ah, yes, future alien pro wrestler The Cinema Snob.

• Linkara : This comic is... *WHAT?*

• Linkara : It takes a special kind of comic to rival "Bimbos In Time" or "Marville" for "long, overdrawn waste of my brain space", but "Nova Girls" has succeeded with flying colors!

• [in the comic, the Nova Girls defeat their enemies by tearing off a page of the comic and wrapping them up in it] 

  Linkara : [utterly stupefied]  I'm in hell. That's the only explanation. I have somehow died or been cursed by a demon to live out the rest of my days in hell, *reviewing this comic*!

• Lira : [to Kan-Vass]  Your film portrays us as male-fantasy, inspired, planet-hopping, money-groping mercenaries with no scruples and even less personality!

  Linkara : Why do I have the distinct feeling that that's going to actually be what this comic is about?

  Kopec : And even though that might be accurate...

  Linkara : Wait, so they *are* a male-fantasy, inspired, greedy group of space mercenaries? Why would you say that about yourselves? And wait, they're greedy space mercenaries who have sold their likeness rights to a corporation who have turned their adventures into a movie franchise?

• Linkara : Was this the inspiration for "Schlock Mercenary"? Gotta say, that's a much better comic than this. Less photographs at least.

• Linkara : Given this comic's relative obscurity, most if not all of you are probably asking the same question: who are the Nova Girls? And if anyone out there has the answer, please tell me, because I found jack diddly about who they are.

• Linkara : This was written by the same guy who sexually harassed a woman on a panel? And is responsible for "Red Hood and the Outlaws" version of Starfire? I would've never guessed!

• Kopec : To think I left my own century to become a Nova Girl - where was my mind?

  Linkara : Okay, now I really want to know what the backstory for this group is, because apparently people will travel through time in order to join this famous mercenary group!

• [the Nova Girls object to Kan-Vass making a movie about their adventures, but he ignores their complaints] 

  Kan-Vass : That's show-biz.

  Lira : And it's my business that's going to suffer! Your film portrays us as male-fantasy-inspired, planet-hopping, money-groping mercenaries with no scruples and even less personalities!

  Linkara : Why do I have the distinct feeling that that's going to actually be what this comic is about?

  Kopec : And even though that may be accurate...

  Linkara : Wait, so they *are* a male-fantasy-inspired, greedy group of space mercenaries? Why would you say that about yourselves? And wait, they're greedy space mercenaries who have sold their likeness rights to a corporation who have turned their adventures into a movie franchise?

• Kopec : This whole gig is getting too phallic for my tastes.

  Linkara : You know, I'd start asking what the hell she's even talking about now, but I just know the answer would be stupid.

• Dobrah : [to Kan-Vass]  If you release that "movie", we'll sue!

  Linkara : I imagine if they're releasing a movie about you, haven't you signed away the rights already?

  Rial : If zee people of my planet see zat - zey vill revolt!

  Linkara : France is a planet now?

  Rupiah : I says we murderize him - and anyone else what might'ta seen dis flick.

  Linkara : Murder threats over a movie, not just to its creator, but to anyone who actually saw it. Our heroes, everybody!

  Haler : You made us look... um, uh - dumb!

  Linkara : Not like this comic book. So far, that's made you look like the most sane, rational and intelligent people ever.

  Kopec : Speaking of revolting... who wrote that "screenplay" - your brother?

  Linkara : [confused]  Um... sick burn?

• Rial : Who vould hire us after seeing zis bomb?

  Linkara : I think your first question is, who would hire you when they see that you apparently spend all your time getting horribly sunburnt? Like this woman over here? Seriously, that was the best photo you had of her?

• Kan-Vass : It's so easy to criticize after the movie's made, Ms. Kopec.

  Linkara : As opposed to what, criticizing the movie *before* it's made?

• Linkara : One of the Nova Girls says that before becoming a Nova Girl, she was "the most feared lawyer in the galaxy", and they plan on revoking the license for their images. However, he's not budging and says that since they're public figures, he doesn't need the license.

  Kan-Vass : [to himself]  And what figures they are, I might add.

  Linkara : You know, Chinny McBusinesspants, ever heard of "public relations nightmare"? Seems like that could threaten your stupid movie, dude. Maybe you want to try not making suggestive remarks in a business meeting?