- Oswaldo Mobray: The man who pulls the lever that breaks your neck will be a dispassionate man. And that dispassion is the very essence of justice. For justice delivered without dispassion is always in danger of not being justice.
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: Now throw out your pistol!
- [Jody throws out pistol]
- Major Marquis Warren: I bet he got another one.
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: Now throw out your other pistol!
- Jody: I ain't got another pistol!
- Major Marquis Warren: Well, you better shit another pistol out your ass! 'Cause if you don't throw one out here in the next two seconds, we gon' kill this bitch!
- [Jody throws out another pistol]
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: Yeah, Warren, that's the problem with old men. You can kick 'em down the stairs and say it's a accident but you can't just shoot 'em.
- [Major Warren shoots Daisy in the foot after she tells Chris Mannix to shoot him]
- Daisy Domergue: [screaming] OH, JESUS CHRIST!
- Major Marquis Warren: OHHH, you believe in Jesus now, huh, bitch? GOOD, 'CAUSE YOU 'BOUT TO MEET HIM!
- Major Marquis Warren: Move a little strange, you're gonna get a bullet. Not a warning, not a question...
- [pause]
- Major Marquis Warren: A bullet!
- Major Marquis Warren: When the handbill says "dead or alive", the rest of us just shoot you in the back from up on top a perch somewhere and bring you in dead over a saddle.
- [pause]
- Major Marquis Warren: But when John Ruth the Hangman catches you...
- [Warren winks]
- Major Marquis Warren: You hang!
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: [about bounty hunting] No one said this job was supposed to be easy.
- Major Marquis Warren: Nobody said it's supposed to be that hard, neither!
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: [to Major Warren] Major Marquis Warren, this here is Daisy Domergue.
- [to Daisy]
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: Domergue, to you, this is Major Warren.
- Daisy Domergue: Howdy, nigger.
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: [to Major Warren, laughing] She's a pepper, ain't she?
- [to Daisy]
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: Now, girl, don't you know darkies don't like being called niggers no more? They find it offensive.
- Daisy Domergue: I've been called worse.
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: Now that, I can believe.
- Major Marquis Warren: Beggin' for his life, your boy told me his whole Life Story. And YOU, was in that story General. And when I knew me I had the son, of the Bloody Nigger Killer of Baton Rouge, I knew me I was gonna have some fun! It was COLD the day I killed your boy. And I don't mean snowy mountain in Wyoming cold... Colder than that. And on that cold day, with your boy at the business end of my gun barrel... I made him STRIP. Right down to his bare ass. Then I told him to start walkin'. I walked his naked ass for two hours... 'fore the cold collapsed him. Then he commits to beggin' again. But this time, he wasn't beggin' to go home. He knew he'd never see his home again. And he wasn't beggin' for his life neither, 'cause he knew that was long gone. All he wanted, was a BLANKET. Now don't judge your boy too harshly, General. You ain't never been cold as your boy was that day. You'd be surprised; what a man that cold, would-do-for-a-blanket. You wanna know what your boy did? I pulled my BIG, BLACK, PECKER outta my pants. And I made him crawl in the snow on all fours over to it. Then I grabbed a handful of that black hair at the back of his head... And I stuck my Big Black Johnson right down his goddamn throat! And it was fulla' blood... so it was warm. Oh, you bet your sweet ass it was warm. And Charles Chester Smithers sucked on that warm black dingus for as loong as he could. Hahahaahaha! Startin' to see pictures, ain't ya?
- Narrator: About fifteen minutes have passed since we last left our characters. Joe Gage volunteered to take Smithers' dead body outside. Straws were drawn to see who'd help him... O.B. lost. Chris, John Ruth and Oswaldo had a vigorous debate about the legality of the self-defense murder that just transpired. Major Marquis Warren, who was supremely confident about the legality of what just transpired ignored them, sat by himself at the table and drank brandy. Captain Chris Mannix donned the dead General's coat and joined Oswaldo in lighting the candles and lanterns. John Ruth held the door closed while waiting for Joe Gage and O.B. To return. Bob enjoyed a Manzana Roja. Domergue, however, hasn't moved from her spot at the community dinner table since John Ruth uncuffed her. Let's go back a bit... Fifteen minutes ago, Major Warren shot General Smithers in front of everybody. But, about forty seconds before THAT, something equally important happened... but not everybody saw it. While Major Warren was captivating the crowd with tales of Black Dicks in White Mouths, Somebody... poisoned the coffee. And the only one to see him do it, was Domergue. That's why this chapter is called; DOMERGUE's GOT A SECRET.
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: [after hitting Daisy in the stagecoach] Now Daisy, I want us to work out a signal system of communication. When I elbow you real hard in the face, that means "shut up"!
- [Ruth gives a look at Warren; they both laugh]
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: May I sit down, sir?
- General Sandy Smithers: According to the Yankees, it's a free country.
- General Sandy Smithers: I don't know that nigger. But I know he's a nigger. And that's all I need to know.
- Minnie Mink: Hey, Dave, ask me if my ass is fat!
- Sweet Dave: What?
- Minnie Mink: Ask me if my ass is fat!
- Sweet Dave: It is.
- Minnie Mink: I said ask me.
- Sweet Dave: Why?
- Minnie Mink: Just do it!
- Sweet Dave: Is your ass fat?
- Minnie Mink: Oui. Look at that y'all, I can speak French.
- Major Marquis Warren: [about Daisy as she's laying on the floor] No, don't shoot her!
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: Why the hell not?
- Major Marquis Warren: [stutters] John Ruth...
- [long pause]
- Major Marquis Warren: Now, John Ruth was one mighty, mighty bastard. But the last thang that bastard did before he died was save your life. We gonna die, white boy. We ain't got no say in that. There is one thang left we have to say here; and that's how we kill this bitch. I say shootin's too good for her. John Ruth could'a shot her any where, any time along the way, but John Ruth was "The Hangman," and when "The Hangman" catches you, you don't die by no bullet.
- [pause]
- Major Marquis Warren: When "The Hangman" catches you...
- [slight pause]
- Major Marquis Warren: ... you hang!
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: [grinning wide] You only need to hang mean bastards, but mean bastards you need to hang!
- [Mannix and Warren look over at Daisy and laugh gleefully as she glances up at both of them with an agonizing expression on her face; she knows they're about to hang her]
- Jody: [suddenly revealing himself from underneath the floorboards aiming his gun up at Warren] SAY ADIOS TO YOUR HUEVOS!
- Major Marquis Warren: [to Joe Gage, Bob and Oswaldo] It's the stew that's got me thinking.
- [to Bob]
- Major Marquis Warren: Now how long did you say Minnie's been gone, a week?
- Bob: Si.
- Major Marquis Warren: You see, my mama used to make stew and it always tasted the same, no matter to me. There was another fella on the plantation, Uncle Charley, he made stew, too. And like my mama, I ate his stew from the time I was a whipper 'till I was a full-grown man. And no matter to me, it always tasted like Uncle Charley's stew.
- [pause]
- Major Marquis Warren: Now I ain't had Minnie's stew in like six months, so I ain't no expert...
- [Warren points towards the pot of stew]
- Major Marquis Warren: But that damn sure is Minnie's stew. So if Minnie is on the northside just visiting her mama for a week, how'd she make the stew this morning? And this...
- [Warren touches Sweet Dave's chair]
- Major Marquis Warren: This is Sweet Dave's chair. When I sat in it earlier, I couldn't believe it. Nobody sits in Sweet Dave's chair. This may be Minnie's place, but this is damn sure Sweet Dave's chair. And if he went to the northside, I'm pretty goddamned sure this chair'd be going with him.
- [Warren starts taking the blankets and skins off of the top of the chair, revealing a huge blood stain soaked underneath]
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: [to Warren] What's in the chair?
- Major Marquis Warren: Just what I thought. Sweet Dave's goddamn blood!
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: As my first and final act as the Sheriff of Red Rock, I sentence you, Daisy Domergue, to hang by the neck until dead!
- [first lines]
- Major Marquis Warren: [looks up coolly as a stagecoach pulled by horses approaches] Got room for one more?
- Bob: Are you actually accusing me of murder?
- Major Marquis Warren: [chuckles] The way I see it, Senior Bob, is whoever is working with her...
- [referring to Daisy]
- Major Marquis Warren: ... ain't who they say they is, and if it's you, then Minnie and her man ain't at her mama's. They laying out back there dead somewhere.
- [to Oswaldo]
- Major Marquis Warren: Or if it's you, little British man, the real Oswaldo Mobray's laying in a ditch somewhere and you're just an English fella passin' off his papers.
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: Or we go by my theory which is the ugliest guy did it...
- [turns to Joe Gage and points his gun at him]
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: ... which makes it you, Joe Gage!
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: Like I said, friend, you got me at a bit of a disadvantage!
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: Keeping you at a disadvantage is an advantage I intend to keep.
- Oswaldo Mobray: [about paying Mannix bounties] We could give him Marco. Bob's real name is Marco the Mexican. He's worth $12,000.
- Major Marquis Warren: [points his gun towards Bob's body] Wait. That's Marco the Mexican?
- Oswaldo Mobray: [nods] Precisely, yeah.
- Major Marquis Warren: [chuckles] Shit, after I blowed his face off; "Marco" ain't worth a "peso"!
- [bursts out laughing]
- Major Marquis Warren: The only time black folks are safe, is when white folks is disarmed. And this letter, had the desired effect of disarming white folks.
- Major Marquis Warren: [to Oswaldo, Bob and Joe Gage] So John Ruth's trying to hang your woman, so you kill him. Okay, maybe. But OB wasn't hangin' nobody...
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: [nods] He damn sure wasn't!
- Major Marquis Warren: But he's sure enough laying over there dead now, ain't he?
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: He damn sure is, you sons-of-bitches!
- Major Marquis Warren: Just like any one of us who would have drank that coffee...
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: Like me, Goddamn it!
- Major Marquis Warren: [interrogating Bob about Minnie's whereabouts] How long did you say you was working with Minnie?
- Bob: Four months...
- Major Marquis Warren: Hmm. See, if you would have been here two and a half years ago, you'd know about that sign that used to hang up over the bar. Minnie ever mention that to you?
- Bob: No.
- Major Marquis Warren: You wanna know what that sign said, Senior Bob? "No Dogs or Mexicans Allowed." Minnie hung that sign up the day she opened this haberdashery, and it hung over that bar every day until she took it down a little over two years ago. Know why she took it down? She started letting in dogs. Now Minnie like just about everybody, but she sure don't like Mexicans. So when you tell me Minnie went to the northside to visit her mama, well, I find that highly unlikely. But okay, maybe...
- [pause]
- Major Marquis Warren: But when you tell me Minnie Mink took the haberdashery, the most precious thing to her in the whole world, and left it in the hands of a goddamn Mexican? Well, that's what I meant in the barn when I said that sure don't sound like Minnie. Now I am calling you a liar, Senor Bob...
- [pause]
- Major Marquis Warren: And if you're lying, which you are, then you killed Minnie...
- [Warren suddenly shoots Bob in the chest]
- Major Marquis Warren: And Sweet Dave!
- [Warren shoots Bob again. Bob falls to the floor dead. Warren walks over to Bob's body with his two guns and shoots his head off]
- Major Marquis Warren: Two measly bullets and there goes Senor Bob!
- [last lines]
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: Hey. Can I see that Lincoln letter?
- [Warren reaches in his pocket and takes out a bloodied piece of paper; he hands it over to Mannix]
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: "Dear Marquis, I hope this letter finds you in good health and stead. I'm doing fine, although I wish there were more hours in the day. It's just so much to do. Time is changing slowly but surely and it's men like you will make a difference. Your military success is a credit not only to you but to your race as well. I'm very proud every time I hear news of you. We still have a long way to go but hand in hand, I know we'll get there. I just want to let you know you're in my thoughts. Hopefully our paths will cross in the future. Until then I remain your friend. 'Ole Mary Todd is calling, so I guess it must be time for bed. Respectfully, Abraham Lincoln..."
- [long pause]
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: "'Ole Mary Todd..."
- [smiles weakly]
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: That's a nice touch.
- Major Marquis Warren: [chuckles] Thanks.
- [Mannix takes the letter and crumples it up; he tosses it on the floor nearby]
- Joe Gage: [confessing to Warren and Mannix] Stop! Alright, I did it! It was me, I poisoned the coffee.
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: [laughs shockingly while pointing his gun at Gage] I FUCKIN' KNEW IT! OHHH, YOU'RE GONNA DIE NOW, YOU MURDERING BASTARD!
- [turns to Warren]
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: Major Warren, please let me send this ugly son of a bitch to hell!
- [to Joe Gage]
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: You killed OB. He's worth ten of you! Warren, can I kill him?
- Oswaldo Mobray: Gentlemen, I know Americans aren't apt to let a little thing like unconditional surrender get in the way of a good war...
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: [From trailer] This here is Daisy Domergue.
- [Daisy waves to people in the haberdashery]
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: She's wanted dead or alive for murder. When that sun comes out, I'm taking this woman to hang!
- [Daisy mockingly performs a hanging motion on herself]
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: There anybody here committed to stopping me from doing that?
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: [Before stepping into the coach, after John Ruth and Major Marquis Warren shake hands on protecting each other's bounties from him] Well, ain't love grand? Y'all wanna lie on the ground and make snow angels together?
- Sweet Dave: [about having Bob watching him play chess with General Smithers] I like whipping this old man's ass in front of an audience.
- General Sandy Smithers: You ain't whipping shit!
- Oswaldo Mobray: [John Ruth pounds on the haberdashery door]
- [shouting from inside]
- Oswaldo Mobray: YOU HAVE TO KICK IT OPEN!
- Joe Gage: [shouting from inside] The door isn't open!
- Daisy Domergue: [shouting from outside] What?
- Oswaldo Mobray: KICK IT OPEN!
- Joe Gage: [John Ruth kicks the door open] Shut that door! It's a goddamn blizzard out there!
- Oswaldo Mobray: You have to close the door!
- Joe Gage: You have to nail it shut!
- Oswaldo Mobray: You have to- you have to nail it shut! HOLD IT SHUT!
- Joe Gage: There's a hammer and nails by the door!
- Oswaldo Mobray: YOU HAVE TO NAIL IT SHUT! THERE'S A HAMMER AND NAILS BY THE DOOR!
- [John Ruth gets the hammer and nails and proceeds to nail the wooden door in]
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: [to Warren] What's Wellenbeck?
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: You ain't never heard of Wellenbeck Prisoner of War camp, West Virginia?
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: No, Reb. I ain't never heard of it!
- [to Warren]
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: You bust out?
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: Oh, Major Marquis did more than just bust out. Major Marquis had a bright idea. So bright you have to wonder why ain't nobody never thought about it before!
- [to Warren]
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: Tell John Ruth your bright idea...
- Major Marquis Warren: [smirks] Well, the whole damn place was just made out of kindling.
- [pause]
- Major Marquis Warren: So I burnt it down!
- [Warren, John Ruth and Daisy all burst out in laughter; Mannix frowns in anger]
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: There was a rookie regiment there spending the overnight in the camp! 47 men, BURNT TO A CRISP! Southern youth, farmer's sons, cream of the crop...
- Major Marquis Warren: And I say let 'em burn!
- [Mannix looks at Warren with shock and disgust]
- Major Marquis Warren: I'm supposed to apologize for killin' Johnny Reb? You joined the war to keep niggers in chains. I joined the war to kill white Southern crackers. And that means killing 'em in any way I can! Shoot 'em, stab 'em, drown 'em, burn 'em, throw a big 'ol rock on their heads! Whatever it took to keep white Southern crackers in the ground, that's what I joined the war to do and that's what I did!
- [Warren and Mannix both glare at each other with hate]
- Major Marquis Warren: [to the men about Daisy] What charms this bitch got to make a man brave a blizzard and kill in cold blood? I'm sure I dunno.
- Daisy Domergue: [after Warren hits her in the face for spitting a huge wad on his "Lincoln letter"] Is this the way niggers treat their ladies?
- Major Marquis Warren: [angrily makes a snowball] You are *NOT* a GODDAMNED *LADY!*
- [he throws the snowball at her]
- Oswaldo Mobray: [to Mannix about hanging women] Well, 'till they invent a trigger a woman can't pull, if you're a hang man, you're going to hang woman!
- Oswaldo Mobray: [smiles] Well, well, well! Looks like Minnie's Haberdashery's about to get cosy for the next few days.
- [sips his hot coffee and smirks]
- Sheriff Chris Mannix: Yes, it does...
- Major Marquis Warren: [narrating]
- [from trailer]
- Major Marquis Warren: Now, what would make a man brave a blizzard and kill in cold blood? I'm sure I don't know! You'd be surprised what a man would do...
- [pauses and laughs]
- Major Marquis Warren: Starting to see pictures, ain't ya?
- [singing "Jim Jones at Botany Bay" as she keeps tabs on John Ruth]
- Daisy Domergue: Listen for a moment, lads, and hear me tell m' tale / How o'er the sea from England shore, I was condemned to sail / The jury found me guilty, sir, and said the judge, said he / For life, Jim Jones, I sentence you across the stormy sea. Take my tip before you ship to join the iron gang / Don't be too gay in Botany Bay or else you'll surely hang / Or else you'll surely hang, says he, and after that, Jim Jones / High up... high up upon... high up upon the gallows tree, the crows will pick your bones. You'll have no chance for mischief there, remember what I say / They'll flog the poaching out of you out there in Botany Bay / Waves were high upon the sea, the winds a-pproacing gales / I'd rather drowned in misery than gone to New South Wales. The waves were high upon the seas when the pirates came along / The soldiers on the convict ship were full five hundred strong / They opened fire and somehow drove that pirate ship away / I'd rather joined that pirate ship than gone to Botany Bay. And one dark night, when everything is quiet in the town...
- [sees John Ruth and O.B. pouring cups of coffee]
- Daisy Domergue: I'll kill you bastards one and all, I'll gun the floggers down/ Give them all a little shock, remember what I say / They'll yet regret they sent Jim Jones in chains to Botany Bay.
- [John Ruth walks up to her with coffee]
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: That's the one you like to sing in the stagecoach, huh?
- Daisy Domergue: Yeah.
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: It's kind of pretty. Got another verse to it?
- [takes a sip of the coffee]
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: Well, go ahead. Sing it.
- Daisy Domergue: [smiles coyly] Whatever you say, John.
- [returns to singing]
- Daisy Domergue: Now day and night the irons clang and like poor galley slaves / Toil and toil and when we die must fill dishonored graves / Bye and bye, I'll break m' chains and to the bush I'll go / And you'll be dead behind me, John, when I get to Mexico.
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: Give me that guitar!
- [rips the guitar out of Daisy's hands]
- John 'The Hangman' Ruth: Music time's over!
- [proceeds to smash the guitar against a support beam]
- Oswaldo Mobray: [to Ruth about taking his gun] Precautions must be taken because life is too sweet to lose!
- Major Marquis Warren: Come out of there you bushwhacking sack shooter by the time I count to 3, or I will shoot this bitch in the face.