Mrs. Brown's Boys D'Movie (2014)

Brendan O'Carroll: Agnes Brown, Mr Wang

Photos 

Quotes 

• Agnes Brown : How do you do?

  NRO Receptionist : [Speaking into headset mic]  Hello?

  Agnes Brown : [Forgets line]  F**k.

  [Out of character] 

  Agnes Brown : Two chips, one small cod.

  [Actors start laughing] 

  Agnes Brown : Do you want salt and vinegar'?

  Winnie McGoogan : [Out of character]  Yeah.

  Agnes Brown : [Out of character]  Salt and vinegar on one, please.

• Agnes Brown : Are you feckin' mad? How much?

  Tax Official : Four million Euro.

  Agnes Brown : Four million Euro?

  Winnie McGoogan : Ah, listen, love, there must be some mistake.

  Winnie McGoogan : Jesus, now you've killed her.

  Agnes Brown : How much?

• Agnes Brown : So, I've had quite a large tax bill. Four million Euro. But you mustn't worry.

  Grandad Brown : I'm not worrying. It's not my problem.

  Winnie McGoogan : Your mammy's right. There's nothing to worry about. The man in the Revenue Office said it was probably a mistake.

  Agnes Brown : When did he say that?

  Winnie McGoogan : Just after you passed out.

  Agnes Brown : But why didn't you tell me?

  Winnie McGoogan : You were passed out.

  Agnes Brown : For God's sake, sometimes you're as useless as a knitted condom.

• Agnes Brown : Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

  Father Damien : This box is already in use.

  Agnes Brown : Winnie, get out.

  Winnie McGoogan : Not until I've heard your sins. Father, I'm much more sinful than her.

  Father Damien : What?

  Agnes Brown : Will you get out, for Jesus' sake?

  Father Damien : Mrs Brown' do not take the Lord's name in vain.

  Agnes Brown : Sorry, Father, I'll add it on to my list in a minute.

• Maydo Archer : Right, let's face these fuckers.

  Agnes Brown : Careful, your Tourette's is kicking in.

  Maydo Archer : No, they're just fuckers.

• Mark Brown : Morning, Ma.

  Agnes Brown : Hello, Mark. Hello, Betty.

  Mark Brown : Great news, Ma.

  Agnes Brown : You're pregnant? Oh, thank God. A brother for Bono. I'll start knitting.

  Betty Brown : It's not a brother for Bono.

  Agnes Brown : A sister for Bono. I'll start knitting.

  Betty Brown : I'm not pregnant.

  Agnes Brown : Are you sure?

• Customer : What's the difference between those apples for 50 cents and those for apples for 75?

  Agnes Brown : Well these ones are low fat. They're called Granny Smith Lite.

  Customer : I'll take of the low fat 75 cent ones.

• Agnes Brown : Farm-fresh eggs! So fresh the hen doesn't even know they're missing yet!

• Agnes Brown : Wish me luck.

  Agnes Brown : Hello? How do you do? Speaking.

  Agnes Brown : It's him. It is a mistake? I only owe 3.8 million. Well, that's a relief. I won't have to sell the feckin' yacht.

  Winnie McGoogan : I think you will have to sell the yacht.

  Rory Brown : How long have you had a yacht?

  Dermot Brown : How much is a yacht worth?

  Agnes Brown : I don't have a feckin' yacht!

• Grandad Brown : I have a better idea. I get the old unit together. We blow up the Revenue Office, then we barricade ourselves in here, prime the place with booby traps and take out the first tax man that comes near. They'll never take you alive.

  Agnes Brown : Somebody get his feckin' tablets.

• Tom Crews : Now, I can't make head nor tails of this. According to this reference number, you need a licence to import cobra snakes.

  Trevor Brown : That's not a reference number. It's a date.

  Agnes Brown : I said cheap. I didn't mean this fucking cheap.

• Agnes Brown : Good morning, Dublin! Get the finest of fruit and vegetables from all over the world right here! The best of fruit! The greenest of greens! And the friendliest of service!

  [Customer stands over stall to look] 

  Agnes Brown : Tom, if you're not buying, fuck off.

• Tom Crews : Hello, Mary. Now Mary, can you tell us what you remember about that morning in the Revenue Office?

  Philomena Nine Warts : She's a bit deaf.

  Tom Crews : Oh, right. Sorry, right. MARY! CAN YOU TELL ME...

  Agnes Brown : Excuse me. She said "deaf" not "retarded".

• Justice Cannon : Do we have all the parties here?

  Tom Crews : Yes, I am the solicitor for the defendant, Tom Crews.

  Maydo Archer : And, Justice, I am Senior Counsel.

  Justice Cannon : Let me guess. Tom Hanks?

  Maydo Archer : Mr Maydo Archer.

  Justice Cannon : Mr Maydo Archer. I have not seen you in a courtroom for a very long time.

  Maydo Archer : Indeed, Justice.

  Justice Cannon : Do we still have that Tourette's thing?

  Maydo Archer : Not nearly as much, Justice. And I do not anticipate it affecting this case.

  Justice Cannon : Ah, well, welcome back.

  Justice Cannon : Who have we here for the State?

  Michael Gibney : Michael Gibney, solicitor, Justice. I... await Senior Counsel.

  P.R. Irwin : Here, Justice.

  Maydo Archer : Wank, wank.

  Justice Cannon : What did you say, Mr Maydo Archer?

  Agnes Brown : He said "wank, wank".

  Maydo Archer : Nothing, Justice. Just clearing my throat.

  Agnes Brown : A wank won't clear your throat, son.

• Gregor : [Gregor picks up fruit] 

  Agnes Brown : Just the one love, that'll be 75 cents.

  Gregor : [Speaks in Russian] 

  Agnes Brown : 75 f***ing cent.

  Gregor : [Crushes the piece of fruit] 

  Agnes Brown : Now it's a smoothie, that's 2.50.

  Gregor : Hey! You sell your stall you stupid bitch!

  Agnes Brown : Excuse me a moment.

  [Grabs a wooden mallet from under the stall and hits Gregor in the hand with it] 

  Agnes Brown : [Gregor in screeching pain]  Anything else, love?

  Gregor : I'll be back.

  Agnes Brown : Hasta la vista, Arnie.