- Dinesh: That's not really our logo, is it? It looks like a guy sucking a dick, and he's got another dick tucked behind his ear for later. Like a snack dick.
- Dinesh: Hey, Jared, you know who else is Canadian? Justin Bieber, the Hitler of music.
- Gilfoyle: Do you have a problem with me being Canadian?
- Dinesh: I do, actually. Do you have any idea how long it took me to become a citizen?
- Gilfoyle: Did it take you a long time? I'm glad I didn't do it then.
- Dinesh: Typical lazy immigrant. These people think they can just walk into this country
- Gilfoyle: did just walk into this country. My car broke down on the ambassador bridge. It took me an extra 15 minutes to get across the border. Major hassle.
- Jared: ...You know, Hitler actually played the bassoon. So, technically, Hitler was the Hitler of music.
- Richard: [On the phone] Hello, Mr. Garris. Yes, this is Richard from the company that is rightly called Pied Piper. That's right. No, no, no. You listen to me. Ok. We had a handshake deal. And that may not mean a lot to you, but where I come from, that means a whole lot. Ok, you agreed to sell me that name for a thousand dollars. So let me ask you this? Are you an honest man or are you a goddamn liar? OK. Yes, same address? Good, yeah, great. See you then.
- [Hangs up]
- Dinesh: Dude, that was fucking badass. What did he say?
- Richard: He said he was gonna get in his truck, drive down here and beat the living shit out of me.
- Dinesh: Why did you say that was your address? Say any other address!
- Richard: I don't know. He's got a very powerful voice...
- Richard: Richard, take Aviato. That's not a name I found, it's a name that found me on a vision quest. Something that you should do.
- Richard: No, no. I'm not gonna eat a bunch of drugs and sit out in the desert, and hope some name randomly pops in my head.
- Erlich Bachman: Well, then I question your leadership.
- Jared: Richard, if we are going to change the name, we need to do it now. Names stick. My name's only Jared because Gavin called me that on my first day. My real name is Donald.
- Gavin Belson: The greatness of human accomplishment has always been measured by size. The bigger, the better. Until now. Nanotech. Smart cars. Small is the new big. In the coming months, Hooli will deliver Nucleus, the most sophisticated compression software platform the world has ever seen. Because if we can make your audio and video files smaller, we can make cancer smaller. And hunger. And AIDS.
- Jared: [Trying to come up with a new company name] All right, what about Smaller, spelled "S-M-L-L-R"? You know, because we make things smaller, and this would be like a smaller version of the word "smaller".
- Gilfoyle: It looks like "Smeller".
- Jared: Ok. What if we spell it "S-M-L-R"? Because that's an even smaller version of the word smaller.
- Dinesh: Then it looks like "Smiler".
- Gilfoyle: We're not gonna kick the shit out of "Nucleus" with "Smiler.
- Erlich Bachman: Where's Richard? Why isn't he in here for this?
- Dinesh: I think he was out back, wishing he'd taken the ten million dollars.
- Gilfoyle: No, I just saw him in his room, wishing he had taken the ten million dollars.
- Dinesh Chugtai: [describing the Pied Piper logo] That's not really our logo, is it? It looks like a guy sucking a dick, and he's got another dick tucked behind his ear, for later. Like a snack dick.