- Al Burns: [seeing Gosling limping] What the hell happened to you?
- Officer Tim Gosling: Ah, nothing. I'm fine. Just, you know that rope you wanted me to find on the beach from the victim? Well, it seems that stray dogs don't take too kind to having their chew toys confiscated as crime scene evidence.
- Carrie Wells: Hello.
- Eliot Delson: Special occasion?
- Carrie Wells: Yes, actually. The weekend's almost here, so I got you a little surprise.
- Eliot Delson: I hate surprises.
- Carrie Wells: Oh, come on, it's fennel juice.
- Eliot Delson: That's why I hate surprises.
- Al Burns: You ever read "The Great Gatsby"?
- Officer Tim Gosling: Welcome to my world. Mortimer's got a Bentley convertible, parks it in the handicapped every time he comes to town. I must have given him twenty tickets myself. I don't think he's paid a one. Just donates another statue to the garden at City Hall. Welcome to the Hamptons.
- Jay Lee: So I was wrong, guys. There are only 737 nautical supply shops on Long Island.
- Al Burns: In other words, you haven't traced the anchor.
- Jay Lee: Whoa, whoa, easy, boss. I mean, I'm working with some very crude tools here. I'm lucky if I can get 3G out here. Plus, I'm running some kind of RF interference on the wireless, so...
- Al Burns: In other words, you haven't traced the anchor.
- Jay Lee: Okay, you could put it that way. But I'm working on it.
- Al Burns: Well, look what the cat dragged in.
- Carrie Wells: I thought you could all use a little change from your regular morning coffee, so, fresh-pressed organic juices from the Pune Press Express. Try it.
- Al Burns: [doing so and wrinkling his nose in disgust] Ugh, what's in this?
- Carrie Wells: What isn't? It's a Reset A-Gogo. It has pineapple, ginger, lime, and chili.
- Al Burns: Chili?
- Carrie Wells: Mmm.
- Al Burns: Okay.
- Cherie Rollins-Murray: [a little disgusted, too] Oh, thank you. I think I'll, uh, save mine for lunch.
- Carrie Wells: Wheatgrass alfalfa swirl? Come on, it's like the milkshake of the gods.
- Eliot Delson: How about a nice little paid vacation? I have a little summer cottage, out on the island. It's all yours.
- Al Burns: And what's the catch?
- Eliot Delson: Does there always have to be a catch?
- Al Burns, Carrie Wells: Yes.
- Eliot Delson: It seems the mayor's press secretary, Sandy Elsworth, he's got a little place in Southampton Village and, I don't know, I guess his kids are friends with the kids of the mayor out there...
- Al Burns: Mm-hmm. See?
- Eliot Delson: The point is, this morning, the body of a young woman washed up on the beach in front of his house. Southampton Village has officially requested our assistance.
- Cherie Rollins-Murray: What, the local police can't handle it?
- Carrie Wells: Long Island Serial Killer.
- Eliot Delson: Exactly. 14 victims in the last ten years, most of them young women dumped on the shore. If this is number fifteen, I want you guys out there.
- Carrie Wells: So our little paid vacation is actually hunting a serial killer.
- Eliot Delson: Don't forget to pack sunscreen.
- Officer Tim Gosling: Yeah, she washed up right about here. No ID, no shoes. Just the, uh, dress she went in with. I think he's back at it.
- Al Burns: You think she's a victim of the serial killer?
- Officer Tim Gosling: She fits the profile. The previous victims were all young, attractive women found near the water's edge, so...
- Al Burns: Yeah, that's true. I believe they were all dead, as well.
- Carrie Wells: I think what Al is trying to say is that we're gonna need more before we identify her as the fifteenth victim.
- Officer Tim Gosling: Yeah, of course.
- Carrie Wells: The fact is, the other girls, they washed up farther west, along the Ocean Parkway, Gilgo Beach area.
- Officer Tim Gosling: Right, but based on my analysis of the current patterns, I believe the body could've been carried this far east.
- Al Burns: Okay, I'd like to see that analysis. But if she is number fifteen, could also mean our guy's got a new dumping ground.
- Al Burns: Anyone ID her?
- Officer Tim Gosling: Canvassed the beach, thrown up some flyers around town. So far, no one's recognized her.
- Al Burns: What about local fishermen? Maybe one of them saw something unusual.
- Officer Tim Gosling: Maybe.
- Al Burns: You haven't talked to 'em yet?
- Officer Tim Gosling: Sir, there are only four officers on the Southampton Village police force. One's away at his sister's wedding, two are on parking patrol, so that just leaves me.
- Carrie Wells: Hey, Jo.
- Joanne Webster: So, I hear your victim's at some local morgue out there. I thought I'd come out and give you a hand.
- Carrie Wells: Oh, no, Jo, uh, Al and I have got it. Don't-don't ruin your weekend.
- Joanne Webster: Carrie, you have no idea about these rural coroners. I've heard of some morgues doubling as feed stores.
- Carrie Wells: Jo, it's the Hamptons, not Kansas, okay?
- Joanne Webster: How's the weather?
- Carrie Wells: Uh... the weather's great. It's nice. Jo, you don't need to come all the way out here.
- Joanne Webster: I'm telling you, it is not a problem.
- Carrie Wells: Yeah, I'm getting the sense that it's not.
- Joanne Webster: Oh, let me ask. How's the house?
- Al Burns: [seeing Eliot's house in the Hamptons] Some cottage.
- Carrie Wells: Wow.
- [picking up the newspaper from the driveway]
- Carrie Wells: I wanna live here.
- Al Burns: Great kitchen. I might just cook tonight.
- Carrie Wells: Wow, this is amazing.
- Al Burns: [opening the refrigerator] This fridge is bigger than my apartment.
- Carrie Wells: Probably gets more light, too.
- Al Burns: Okay, so Eliot's "little cottage" in the Hamptons comes with a not-so-little pool.
- Carrie Wells: And a Jacuzzi.
- Al Burns: Mm. Doesn't really change anything. Might actually explain a few things.
- Carrie Wells: Yeah, like why he's so hard to reach on the weekends.
- Al Burns: According to bank records, Shelly recently deposited $10,000 into her checking account. Any idea where she could've gotten that kind of money?
- Karen Branigan: She made minimum wage plus tips. There's no way she had that kind of money.
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: [holding a starfish] Hey, Dr. Webster. Bet you don't encounter many of these in your neck of the woods.
- Joanne Webster: Can't say I do. Call me Jo.
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: Yeah, Theodore Blumer. Ted. "And my boy, Joel, who knew the stars, he used to say it took millions of years for that speck o' light to git to the earth."
- Joanne Webster: First time I've Thornton Wilder recited at an autopsy.
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: Yeah, well, we're doing "Our Town" at the Village Playhouse.
- Joanne Webster: Let me guess, you're playing the Stage Manager?
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: I wish. Doc Gibbs. I had the lab coat.
- Joanne Webster: Boy, it looks like she's been in the water a long time.
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: Well, judging by the decomposition, I would say a couple of days, but she was dead before she ever hit the drink.
- Joanne Webster: How'd you reach that conclusion?
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: Well, there wasn't a drop of water in her lungs. And besides, there's this.
- Joanne Webster: [seeing what he indicates] Oh. Penetrating wound to the brachial artery. You're thinking exsanguination.
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: Certainly not the M.O. of the Long Island Serial Killer. He strangles his victims.
- Joanne Webster: Oh, you're familiar with those cases.
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: I should be. I autopsied seven of them.
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: Judging from the wound, the murder weapon is approximately three inches long with rather dull edges.
- Joanne Webster: You're very thorough.
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: For a country coroner. What were you expecting? A potato farmer?
- Joanne Webster: No, actually, a feed store operator.
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: Oh. I was expecting a condescending elitist from the city.
- Joanne Webster: Well, now that we've got that straightened out, let's get to work, shall we?
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: Liver tests that we ran on previous victims of the killer showed a high alcohol content. But her blood alcohol was .016. That's a glass of wine at dinner.
- Joanne Webster: Any idea what dinner was, or where?
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: Unfortunately, the critters devoured her stomach contents. Few people realize that starfish are carnivorous. We're gonna have to perform a necropsy if we're gonna learn what she had for dinner.
- Joanne Webster: Are you serious? You're gonna do an autopsy on a starfish?
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: Welcome to the seashore.
- Joanne Webster: [excited] Oh, man.
- Ellen: Shelly was sweet. All the customers loved her.
- Carrie Wells: She ever have any problems with anyone around here?
- Ellen: She pretty much kept to herself. I mean, she didn't go out partying like most of the kids around here.
- Carrie Wells: Right. But her mom said she was at a party Wednesday night.
- Ellen: If she was, I didn't know about it.
- Al Burns: She also just put $10,000 into her checking account. Any idea where that came from?
- Ellen: Not from here, that's for sure. She mentioned wanting to find another job after her dad's accident.
- Carrie Wells: Well, if you wanted to make extra money, where would you go around here?
- Ellen: I'd check out the board. People post all kinds of things on there. Waitressing jobs, catering.
- Carrie Wells: [seeing a flyer and remembering Shelly's bedroom] How about a charter boat?
- Ellen: The pay's good, if you can stand eight hours on the water serving margaritas to a boatload of drunk cidiots.
- Carrie Wells: Cidiots?
- Ellen: Idiots from the city. Present company excluded.
- Carrie Wells: Hey, Todd. You know Shelly Branigan?
- Todd Peck: Nope, but I heard they pulled some chick out of the water over in Southampton Village. Is that her?
- Carrie Wells: [holding up a keychain] Why don't you tell me? I found this in her bedroom.
- Todd Peck: I give those things out all over town; it's called marketing.
- Carrie Wells: [holding up her phone] Oh, yeah? Well, this... is called an arrest record. And, oh, look! This one is yours.
- Todd Peck: I did know Shelly. She called me up a few weeks ago to work a charter trip. Said she needed extra cash.
- Carrie Wells: [sarcastic] I'm sure she just leapt at the chance.
- Todd Peck: Actually, she called me up a few days later, said she didn't need the money after all. I figured she landed some trust-funder. That's what most of the girls around here are looking for.
- Carrie Wells: I'm gonna need to see your nautical log books from the past two years.
- Todd Peck: Come on, lady, I don't have time for that. I got a business to run.
- Carrie Wells: No. You don't got a business to run. Not anymore.
- [taking a piece of paper off a bulletin board]
- Carrie Wells: Oh, yeah, look at this. Your permit.
- [ripping it in half]
- Carrie Wells: Consider yourself closed until further notice, okay?
- Todd Peck: Tim, you gonna let her get away with this?
- Officer Tim Gosling: Can't be operating without a license, Todd.
- Carrie Wells: Hey, Jo.
- Joanne Webster: Oh, listen, I e-mailed you some autopsy photos.
- Carrie Wells: Hang on, I'm gonna put you on speaker. Al's here.
- Joanne Webster: We're on speaker.
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: Ah.
- Joanne Webster: I'm here with Dr. Blumer, the Southampton medical examiner. It was definitely a homicide. The victim bled out from a stab wound.
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: We found ligature marks on her wrists. It looks like she was tied with rope and then weighed down with something.
- Joanne Webster: [covering the mouthpiece] That's what a ligature is.
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: I know. I'm telling them.
- Joanne Webster: We believe the victim's last meal included caviar, and based on the roe, a very special kind of caviar. Volga Reserve Ossetra. Starts at $532 an ounce.
- Al Burns: Can't be too many places serving that, even around here.
- Carrie Wells: Dr. Blumer, uh, do you know of a family around here by the name of Mortimer?
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: Uh, yes, George Mortimer. He has a place on Further Lane.
- Carrie Wells: What do you know about him?
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: He's rich. Old money. Uh, besides that, just, you know, what you hear. Fast boats, fast cars, fast horses. His daughter is getting married, I think.
- Joanne Webster: Huh.
- Dr. Theodore Blumer: Oh, did I mention he's rich?
- Joanne Webster: Carrie, it doesn't sound as though our victim kept that kind of company.
- Carrie Wells: Well, she did the night she died.
- Carrie Wells: Wow, it must have been an incredible night. I mean, the music, the food... I bed she had an amazing time.
- George Mortimer: Thank you.
- Carrie Wells: Yeah.
- George Mortimer: Yes, it, uh... it was a magical evening.
- Carrie Wells: And you served the Volga Reserve Ossetra caviar. I mean, come on, really.
- Al Burns: Carrie.
- Carrie Wells: I know, I know, I know. I said I wouldn't say anything, but...
- Al Burns: And yet you are.
- Al Burns: That was nice back there, with the "we're not at liberty" stuff.
- Officer Tim Gosling: Thanks.
- Al Burns: Where'd you get that?
- Officer Tim Gosling: Saw it on TV.
- Al Burns: Some town you got here, Tim. You grow up here?
- Officer Tim Gosling: Noyac. After college, I bummed around the country for a bit, but something always pulled me back here.
- Al Burns: I guess the salt air gets into your blood, huh?
- Al Burns: Why'd that kid seem embarrassed that you knew him?
- Officer Tim Gosling: Chris?
- Al Burns: Yeah.
- Officer Tim Gosling: Probably 'cause he's a local. Dad's a plumber here in town. He wants to run with the big dogs.
- Al Burns: Listen, I've been doing this a long time. I think you've got more to say.
- Chris Jenkins: [turning to leave] Ah, not really.
- Al Burns: [grabbing his arm] Hey, Chris. Girl's dead. Local kid, just like you.
- Chris Jenkins: I don't want to stir anything up, all right? These guys are my friends.
- Al Burns: Yeah, you really believe that? You think you'll still be in their lives when they go back to Manhattan, Moscow, wherever it is they're from?
- Chris Jenkins: All right, I might have seen her at the party. But I'm not sure.
- Al Burns: Where?
- Chris Jenkins: Back yard.
- Al Burns: Was she with anyone? Talking to anyone?
- Chris Jenkins: Nah, she was pretty much on her own. She seemed a little out of place. Probably why I picked up on her. I've been there.
- Al Burns: Me, too. Thanks for stepping up.
- Joanne Webster: So, I went over the serial killer case files with Dr. Blumer. And the previous victims were all strangled and partially dismembered. Frankly, this case does not fit the bill.
- Carrie Wells: What is it with you and this Blumer guy? Every time you talk about him, you get this weird little smile on your face.
- Joanne Webster: Oh, no. I just find him interesting, that's all. I mean, he's actually doing a play at the local theater. How many coroners do you know...
- Carrie Wells: See, right there.
- Joanne Webster: What?
- Carrie Wells: There it is, there it is. This weird little smile on your face.
- Jay Lee: Hey, Carrie? The jets in the Jacuzzi aren't jetting.
- Al Burns: Jay?
- Jay Lee: Hey. I, uh... thought you guys could, uh, use some help.
- Al Burns: With the Jacuzzi?
- Jay Lee: No, I thought I could cross-reference some suspect profiles, run some data analysis...
- Carrie Wells: Jay?
- Jay Lee: I also understand you need some access to financial files.
- Carrie Wells: Jay. He's not... he's not buying it.
- Jay Lee: [seeing Al's stoic face] Okay, look. The city's a freaking sauna, my air conditioning is busted, and I really wanted to check out Eliot's place, so...
- George Mortimer: What are they doing with that spray?
- Jay Lee: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey. Watch where you step. Watch where you step. That's called luminol.
- George Mortimer: And what is luminol?
- Jay Lee: It's a chemiluminescent, which means it glows in the presence of blood.
- [Al turns the lights off, revealing the remnants of blood everywhere]
- Jay Lee: Just like that.
- Al Burns: What are you doing here?
- Cherie Rollins-Murray: Well, I heard you had a big fish on the line.
- Al Burns: He just swam right by you.
- Cherie Rollins-Murray: Oh.
- Al Burns: Let me guess. Thought you'd come out, give us a hand?
- Cherie Rollins-Murray: How'd you know I was gonna say that?
- Carrie Wells: [showing Al an article about Mortimer] Yeah, check that out. His family has produced three congressmen, two secretaries of state, and an ambassador to Sweden.
- Al Burns: And a hell of a fortune.
- Carrie Wells: Yeah, more money than Shelly Branigan will see in a thousand lifetimes. It doesn't... it doesn't seem fair, does it?
- Al Burns: Well, it's the American way. Every town's got one; that big house on the hill.
- Carrie Wells: But what was a little girl from Islip doing there?