Unlucky Charms (2013) User Reviews

Buy the cereal instead

[penman08 · 3/10 · 16 November 2013]

This review may reveal plot points, so spoiler alert. This is a stinky pile of trash. Bear in mind I have loved Full Moon since the VHS days and I appreciate what they often succeed at doing with their unusual movies, but this one stunk it up! Let's do some of this in question format. Who was that red guy and what was wrong with his face? Who were the others, exactly? Why did they indiscriminately "greenbeam" people with varying results? Why did they "greenbeam" those 2 and kill them? If you are killing bad people, why did that #1 bitch not get it first or at all? I wanted her to die and she did not! How did that black lady have control of everything and why didn't she have more control than she did? Why did the creatures oppose her, exactly, and why did they seem so weak also? There was no real plot, no explanation of their "plot", no conclusions or anything. Bad effects and senseless deaths where the victims just vanished forever. It would have been cool if that one "bitch" was turned fat and then stayed fat and maybe the others could have been similarly punished for their wickedness and then maybe have the chubby or the mean one win out for their sincerity or purity of heart or whatever. The best part was that it just ended, oh and some of the acting was just awful. Terrible movie, even for Full Moon. Please get some help with the script writing, I think Charles is overworked with that AND the music and all.

I CONTRACTED DYSLEXIA SEVEN TIMES

[nogodnomasters · 4/10 · 24 June 2019]

A group of five girls are in an old mansion competing in a modeling/spokesperson competition for reality TV. Characters from the underworld are summoned to the surface by an unknown person (mystery is short lived) to kill off the models. These include a cyclops and what appears to be a Scottish Leprechaun.

The film is a nice concept with potential. Indeed, I was thinking of cult classic "Evil Toons." However, it didn't live up. The dialouge was simplistically catty. The humor didn't take and it really needed to because there was no real horror factor.

The opening to the film informs us that Full Moon productions has created its own interactive streaming web site for $6.99 a month, "only 20 cents a day". Closer to 23 cents a day for you third grade scholars. 70 minutes long and even as a cheap rental, it still might be worth passing up even with Masuimi's tats and cool under garments.

Parental Guide: F-bomb, sex, nudity (Anna Sophia Berglund, Masuimi Max)

A solid cheesy Full Moon effort

[kannibalcorpsegrinder · 5/10 · 5 September 2019]

Looking to win a modeling competition, a group of girls at a remote Gothic mansion trying to get the top prize are slowly removed by a greedy entrepreneur in the competition through the use of powerful leprechaun gemstones, and when they get tired of being pawns strike back against their plans.

This was quite a fun cheesefest. That in itself is the greatest aspect featured here which runs rampant throughout the film. This is apparent from the very beginning with the introduction to the Leprechaun and the other monsters attempting to look into the human world and to segue from that into one of the hokiest excuses for a modeling show which looks incredibly cheap and low-rent if it were a real show. Getting to see the monsters run around the mansion conducting their brand of mayhem on the competition is all the more fun for how long it goes on into the film before they find out what's going on as their mischievous antics allow for some cheesy fun here. Manipulating themselves into looking like the others which not only allows for some cheesy nudity but also giving off the chance to see their magical powers in action and all that entails. Overall, this is the best aspect of this one. The main aspect holding this one back is the sheer audacity of the premise which is decidedly so goofy it's impossible to take seriously. Indeed, that is the whole point here with this one but the make-up work is truly laughable in terms of their overall appearance as each of the creatures has something to dislike. The Leprechaun's frizzy hair and slick face glean in the light unnecessarily, the cyclops' face is nearly immobile, making it's source materials obvious and the oracles are just silly expressionless masks. That goes together with the constant fantasy-laden magic effects and a lighter tone through the constant spying on everyone looking to find the source of the missing magic to create far more of a comedic-fantasy than a genuine horror film, especially in the latter half where the mischievous beings are revealed to be controlled by evil forces all along and all the horror elements are dropped considerably. When you don't fear the main creatures, the film has issues that are hard to overcome.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Language, Nudity, Violence and a mild sex scene.

They're Magically Attrotious!

[JoeB131 · 1/10 · 8 November 2014]

so once again, Charles Band has one of his movies where monsters slowly pick off hot chicks.

This one involves names of creatures from Irish Folklore he managed to wiki or google or something. These girls are all on a Top Model Reality show, even though none of these women could pass for an actual model. (The obligatory "nice girl" is a bit on the chunky side.) So the Tyra Banks stand in has this bracelet of Lucky Charms that allows her to control beings. But it's a bit confusing. Did she just learn to summon them that day? Anyway, the mythical beings aren't really keen on being used to kill young women to make her younger.

I do give the "little person' who played Farr Darrig credit for putting the most into his inane dialog. I have less good to say about the models, not a one of them could act. It also has a depressingly low body count for a Chuck Band movie. These monsters are really underachievers.

What were they thinking?

[metalrage666 · 2/10 · 14 November 2013]

Ridiculous so-called horror movie, based on old magic and legendary monsters mixed with America's Next Top Model.

Just like the aforementioned model TV show, 5 girls are left to have a chance to, well, be the next model with a contract and photo shoots etc. And just like the TV show, there are 3 judges, one who considers himself a young playboy, the obligatory gay guy who somehow knows how women should walk, dress, etc. and the female judge that's scarily reminiscent of Tyra Banks.

However unlike the actual TV show, there are 4 monsters, I guess you could call them monsters, - a leprechaun, banshee, hobgoblin and a cyclops. Not sure why these 4 monsters were chosen as they aren't from the same parts of the world or even the similar time-lines, but whatever. Anyway, these 4 monsters have been conjured by this magical charm bracelet and each charm represents one of the monsters. It seems that the premise of this is that one of the characters is using this charm bracelet to have the monsters kill off the young would-be models in order to steal their youthfulness, thereby staying young just a little bit longer. It sounds completely dumb and that's exactly what it is.

Don't be fooled by what you read, this is not compelling, deep or interesting, it's just a waste of time. The monsters look like four kids dressed up in bad Halloween costumes. The leprechaun, known as Farr Darrig is supposed to be the leader of the group but there's nothing about him that's remotely menacing. I burst out laughing at how stupid he looked. The role of the cyclops makes no sense as he seems to be nothing more than a horny teenager just wanting to get some, and making himself look like one of the judges, manages to succeed.

I gave this 2 stars for no other reason than Masuimi Max getting hypnotised by the cyclops and taking her top off and playing with herself solely for his amusement. Apart from that, this is as lame as lame gets. Even the bitching between the models came across as forced and it would have been better had they just let them ad-lib. This one just isn't worth your time.

Terrible from beginning to end!

[richieandsam · 2/10 · 21 December 2013]

UNLUCKY CHARMS

The second terrible movie of my birthday night was Unlucky Charms. I thought that it couldn't get much worst after Piranhaconda... but I was so wrong.

Unlucky Charms is about a reality TV show for models. They are all trying to get the top prize, but one of the judges has got a magic charm bracelet that lets out these creatures who kill off the contestants so that she can have their souls and stay looking young.

Sounds rubbish right? It was worst than that.

I honestly can only think of one good thing to say about this movie. There was one character in the film that I really liked. He was one of the creatures and he had this huge mouth. The mask and make up was terrible, but I just thought he looked really good.

The story was so bad... I hate these reality shows anyway... so to make a movie from it is just hell foe me. The only reality show that appeared in a story that I loved was Dead Set. I can't stand watching these women pretty much begging to be a model. I can't think of anything worst.

The acting was diabolical. Every single person in this film should never be put in front of a camera again! Name and shame time... Jessica Lou Allen, Peter Donald Badalamenti II, Roman Beetz, Sophia Beetz and Anna Sophia Berglund... lower your heads in shame.

Again just like Piranhaconda, there were plenty of half naked women posing and bouncing about for absolutely no reason. In the end we were just laughing, saying we should get a clicker to count how many times there are pointless shots of women's butts.

The worst part for me was the fact that this film didn't even have the comedy value. I laughed a few times at pretty much everything in this film, but once you got about 30 minutes in, there is not much laughter after that.

The effects and make up were terrible. You could clearly see the monsters were just wearing rubber masks. They didn't even attempt to blend in the eye sockets. what a joke.

I suggest avoiding this film at all costs... it is close to being one of the worst movies I have seen... not quite though.

I will give this film 2 out of 10.

Not even worth a quote!

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camp fest!!!

[hillsidestrangler66 · 2 August 2013]

F***ing funny, ridiculous and actually has a few reputable celebs in it! I was surprised at how hard my friends were laughing too. Just don't take it seriously, and it actually becomes really fun. Seth Petersen from Burn Notice is playing a flamboyant gay model judge alongside Jeryl Prescott from Walking Dead who plays Tyra Banks from Hell, garnering the souls of sexy girls to preserve her youth...Masumi Max is pretty hot and has a good wit about her. The castle setting they used for the film is pretty cool too. The acting ability of "The Red Man" though, was surprisingly good. He was serious. Little people, boobies and blood should keep you satisfied if you like low budget horror, especially Full Moon movies...this is a better one.

Archetypical Full Moon Features movie...

[paul_haakonsen · 4/10 · 28 October 2021]

Well, lots can be said about the 2013 movie "Unlucky Charms". But if you are a fan of the movie from Full Moon Features then you know what you are getting yourself into when you sit down to watch "Unlucky Charms".

And I will say that this 2013 movie from writers Charles Band, Domonic Muir and Kent Roudebush was actually a step up from the usual movies that I have seen from Full Moon Features. Sure, this wasn't by any means a milestone within the horror genre, but it was a campy enough horror movie that was suitable for watching.

The storyline told in "Unlucky Charms" was easy to follow, though it wasn't a scary story, nor a particularly outstanding or memorable story. So the movie made for a less than mediocre viewing experience. I must admit that I was expecting a bit more in the horror department for a movie from Full Moon Features.

The acting performances in the movie were bland, but of course it wasn't exactly award-winning performers that participated in the movie. And for a movie of this caliber, then "Unlucky Charms" did manage to deliver the type of acting performances that I was expecting.

Visually then "Unlucky Charms" was a rather mixed bag of nuts. I mean, some of the effects were actually good enough, while others were nothing more than cheap latex masks put on the performers without even an active effort done to make the transition from latex mask to skin seem realistic.

I am sure that there is an audience out there for these type of cheesy movies, otherwise Full Moon Features wouldn't still be around.

My rating of "Unlucky Charms" lands on a less than mediocre four out of ten stars.

No luck found

[Floated2 · 3/10 · 18 September 2022]

Unlucky Charms directed by acclaim director Charles Band takes a spin and parody turn upon the television series America's Top Models added in with a horror twist featuring monsters (leprechauns, a cyclops and other weird creatures).

The plot of this film is quite confusing. In part of what occurs with the female judge. Was not sure if she was apart of the gag or why exactly she needed the charms. It wasn't clear enough.

The acting is what we would expect from a low budget B- movie like this. The effects aren't completely terrible including the creatures (they do look creepy). There is some entertainment but the problem is the movie isn't funny enough.

The film is really short and it almost feels like parts of it were cut. It seems like it was rushed to finish for whatever reason. Surely they could have added 10 more minutes to explain clearer in the end.

Excellent movie

[torreyian · 8/10 · 22 August 2013]

I didn't expect a lot from this movie. Thought it would be stupid fun. It looked like your classic, B-grade slasher film. I was expecting cheesy monsters, little plot, with a little bit of nudity and lots of graphic deaths. I was very pleasantly surprised. This turned out to be one of the best written movies I've seen recently. The acting wasn't great and the effects were weak. But the writing made up for all of that. It was a compelling story, with deep, interesting characters and it included one of the best integrated exposition dialogs I've ever seen. My only complaint is that there was a point where they seemed to rush for time, so the end seemed hurried. But the rest of the film makes up for that. This is a must watch film.

Actually Kinda Entertaining

[knightox · 6/10 · 30 July 2019]

This flick wasn't half bad. That is if you go into it expecting a campy, tongue-in-cheek romp with light scares and brief nudity. Gotta say I was disappointed how they offed the first two girls in the beauty contest, especially Nikki Leigh, since she was the closest one that came to being "super model" material. Yes, the acting is atrocious but that's acceptable in B movies like these. Also the special effects definitely aren't anything "special" but that just adds to the cheese-factor. Even though it's supposed to be a quote "horror" movie, it ends up being a sort of silly modern day fairytale with a somewhat happy ending. That's better than a lot of campy horror flicks that are just plain idiotic imao.

Nifty Grade B horror outing

[Woodyanders · 8/10 · 15 May 2014]

A quintet of beautiful women fiercely compete with each other to become the top spokes model for a high end line of lingerie designed by formidable diva DeeDee DeVille (strongly played with deliciously wicked relish by Jeryl Prescott). Unbeknownst to the ladies, DeeDee has invoked four mythical beings from an ancient charm bracelet so she steal the gals' souls and remain young forever. Director Charles Band relates the entertaining story at a zippy pace and maintains a generally serious tone throughout. The compact and engrossing script by August White and Kent Roudebush offers a neat twist by making the monsters the reluctant pawns of an evil human instead of all-out nasty beasts. Moreover, the creatures are a cool and colorful bunch, with Peter Badalamenti as lecherous cyclops Bloody Bones and especially Nathan Phillips as bitter and disgusted leprechaun Farr Darrig rating as the definite stand-outs. The bevy of sexy babes certainly doesn't hurt matters any: Tiffany Thornton as sweet goody goody two shoes Audrey, Nikki Leigh as the insecure and self-conscious Sheila, Masuimi Max as the determined Mika, Alex Rose Wiesel as ruthless arrogant bitch Darla, and Ana Sophia Berglund as ditsy slut Erin. In addition, there are amusing performances from Seth Peterson as the effeminate Pirl and Charlie O'Connell as slimy producer Baxter Randolph. Howard Wexler's crisp cinematography and Richard Band's shivery Celtic-flavored score are both up to par. A fun little fright flick.

Luck runs out

[kosmasp · 6/10 · 13 August 2022]

No pun intended - and while it is called the catwalk, there is no running in this movie. There is a fair amount of nudity in this though. Which you should not mind - not negatively that is. I am a bit of a sucker for b-horror movies like this. The actors/models are doing a decent job. This is as flawed as it can be - but it also knows of its shortcomings and still is able to be entertaining to a degree.

Yes the judges are cliche - to the point where they are more annoying than funny. But you can also have fun with the make up (be it the "monsters", human or non human). This really is not trying to hide what it is - a fun little movie that does not take itself to seriously. Treat it as such and you'll be alright. Charming, isn't it (sorry for the pun)?

Actually Enjoyable

[keith-kanderski · 8/10 · 17 August 2013]

Grew up on Full Moon movies and have been saddened by their current state. Can't remember the last Full Moon film I saw (Puppet Master X, maybe), but I remember saying it would be my last. However, in honor of my youth, I keep abreast of the latest Full Moon happenings. I started reading about Unlucky Charms, and it seemed to be getting positive responses. The film is about a Tyra Banks-ish personality running a competition show in order to lure hot, young women for their souls. You see, she is getting old and needs their souls to keep her beautiful, youthful appearance. How does she harness their souls, she possesses the four stones that together allow her to use "The Old Magic." The four stones being together also calls a few monsters who must do the bidding of the person who possesses the stones, whether it is for good or evil. They start assisting her but have a change of heart when they are tired of how horrible this world is. Overall, production values looked really good for a Full Moon movie (looks like they may have used a real camera on this one). Overall, the acting was some of the best I had seen in a Full Moon movie. The story wasn't so ridiculously out there, either, like most modern Full Moon films. The effects are...well, it's a B-Movie. The film isn't scary at all. The creatures are likable, and I'd welcome their return in a sequel or two. This film has restored my faith in Full Moon, and I know I just need to be choosy (like...I will probably skip their next release of Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong). As related to other Full Moon movies (not necessarily to films such as Bubba Ho-Tep or Devil's Rejects), I give this one an 8/10. Brought a little nostalgia back to the good days of Full Moon.

Above-average modern Full Moon

[quridley · 7/10 · 1 June 2017]

I was very impressed and entertained by the first 2/3rds of this one. The last 3rd is predictable and anti-climatic (run out of money?, but most of the film is funny, quick and very well shot. This is bizarre for Full Moon's catalogue, but especially their recent decline. Full Moon founder Charles Band directs so that explains why there's more energy and attention paid here. Its the cast and screenwriters that really save this, but Band's directing is more competent and free here than his earlier, drab and overly serious films. The film grows repetitive and too stupid, but its a good time-waster. I'm glad Full Moon has finally added minorities and gays to their films but unfortunately its still as comedy and villains. Even on his best day, Charles Band seems 20 years behind the culture. Thats a plus and a minus.

Avoid

[jonschaper · 3 November 2021]

I'm a big fan of bad but entertaining movies. Unfortunately this one is just bad.

The majority of the film is a fictional depiction of an America's Top New Model sort of competition, and is just as annoying (when it isn't boring). The main difference is that the women don't look anorexic, which is quite welcome, but unfortuantely most of their mass is plastic.

Oddly for a film whose main appeal (besides horror) is meant to be T and A, the one and only sex scene involves a woman who goes out of her way to awkwardly cover up her breasts with her arms. Because, you know, one always feels the need to be modest in front of whoever they're having sex with. There is another nude scene, but largely of appeal to fans of beachballs.

As for the horror: That part of the plot seems to have been almost completely forgotten. Most of the makeup is mediocore (for some reason they have a leprachaun who isn't even all that bad a person looking like he has bad eczema). And the visuals of the film give it the look and visual mood of a kids show like The Wriggles. No shadows, bright saturated colours, etc. Even in the age of digital replacing film, most directors still manage to create some mood. Not here.

Charles Band at least remains a competent music composer, but you've now heard it all in his previous films.