Ultimate Spider-Man (TV Series)

Ultimate Deadpool (2013)

Will Friedle: Deadpool, Video Game Voice

Photos 

Quotes 

• Deadpool : Wait, let me guess. You're Aaron Applebaum. Aaron Astin. Aaron Atwater!

  Spider-Man : Are you just going to keep yelling names from A to Z until you guess?

  Deadpool : No. Barry Barrington!

  Spider-Man : You're not well.

  Deadpool : I know.

• Deadpool : Well, moving on. I'm on a mission to finding the secret HQ of Taskmaster. The big boss for these cheese clowns. And nothin', but nothin', better get in my way.

  Mini-Deadpool : What, like the dozen swords in your back?

  Deadpool : [laughs]  I don't have swords in my...

  Mini-Deadpool : Yuck. Gonna go hurl now.

  Deadpool : Huh, that's gonna leave a mark. Oh, wait. No it isn't. I have a healing factor. Yay me! 'Scuse me while I pull these pot stickers out of my spleen and knock some heads. Deadpool, out.

• Deadpool : Oh, shiny. What is that?

  Spider-Man : You see my spidey-sense? It's this thing in my brain that warns me of danger.

  Deadpool : I'll give you a thousand bucks for your brain.

• Deadpool : Dang skippy. Where are my manners? Introductions. Call me Deadpool. It rhymes with "no school," "too cool,"ain't no fool," and "I'm the best at what I do - ool."

• Spider-Man : I'm starting to re-think this little field trip. Just tell me what your plan is.

  Deadpool : We go into that compound, find Agent MacGuffin, snag the list, then un-alive Taskmaster and his acolytes, capiche?

  Spider-Man : Wait, un-alive them?

  Deadpool : Yeah, yeah here's the thing, I can't really say the k-word out loud. It's a weird mental tick. But we're gonna destroy them, make them disappear, sleep them with the fishes. We'll k-word them.

  Spider-Man : K-word? You mean you want to kill them?

  Deadpool : Whoa, yeah, that does sound bad when you say it out loud. And yes, we're going to un-alive them.

  Spider-Man : We can't un-alive them. We can't un-alive anyone. Deadpool!

• Deadpool : Have I told you my origin story?

  Spider-Man : Like a billion times, now. How about telling me the truth?

  Deadpool : You can't handle the truth.

  Spider-Man : Really?

• Taskmaster : Spider-Man. Nice of you to finally visit my school. Unfortunately I'm no longer accepting applicants.

  Spider-Man : We've come for the list of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, Taskmaster. And for Agent MacGuffin.

  Taskmaster : We who?

  Spider-Man : Me and Dead... Deadpool!

  Taskmaster : Deadpool is here? What?

  Deadpool : Boogity-boo! Did you miss me?

  Taskmaster : You. You're out of your mind to come here. I will destroy you.

• Taskmaster : Oh, Spider-Man. If you'd studied with me instead of Fury you might not be so naive. Who do think I stole the identity list from in the fist place?

  Spider-Man : Agent MacGuffin?

  Deadpool : Heh. Confession time. Yeah, it was me.

  Spider-Man : You?

  Deadpool : And there is no Agent MacGuffin. And also I stole the list from S.H.I.E.L.D., but Taskmaster swiped it from me when I left my pouches in the potty.

  Spider-Man : What?

  Deadpool : Dude, couldn't help it. I had Indian food. My legs went numb I was in there so long.

• Deadpool : They should call you "elevator operator" 'cause you're bringing me down. Or "tonsils" 'cause you're a pain in the neck. Ba-boosh!

  Spider-Man : Lame. Next you'll be telling me to "go soak my head."

  Deadpool : Ah, what a swellegant idea. But it'll look a lot funnier in my imagination.

  Spider-Man : What?

  Deadpool : Spider-Man, go soak your head.

• Deadpool : Ah, you're comedy gold my friend. Or as comedy oatmeal. As for me, you already know, I'm Deadpool. Superhero supreme with a side of bam. Nice to see you kept my color scheme when you copied my suit. Am I, like, your idol?

  Spider-Man : I never heard of you. I designed this costume myself.

  Deadpool : Sure. Black and white eyes. Red suit. Though you made it your own with the crossword theme. Oh, wait. Webs! Those are webs. No pouches though. You need pouches.

• Deadpool : Word is that Fury left his S.H.I.E.L.D. tablet in a hotel bathroom. So you can see why he'd want to be discreet. Now, see I agreed to help even though Fury and me don't always see eye to eye. Now, do you get that? Eye to eye? Eye to eye! Hm, get it?

  Spider-Man : Yeah, I do eye jokes too.

• Spider-Man : You've got to be kidding me. You have your own private jet?

  Deadpool : Yep. It was a present from one Tony Stark.

  Spider-Man : He never gave me a jet. Seriously, from one super dude to another, what's your secret?

  Deadpool : Origin story time!

• Deadpool : No, piranhas! They're so bitey. Oh that's so much funnier when it happens to someone else.

  Spider-Man : Booby traps.

  Deadpool : You said, "traps."

• Deadpool : Ugh, anybody smell barbecue bug?

  Spider-Man : It's been kind of a rough day.

  Deadpool : Extremely ripe! Yeesh. Here. Strong enough for man, but made for a spider.