- Donald Davenport: Inventing the wheel? Boring. Discovering electricity? Snooze. Sliced bread? Lame. But now Davenport Industries introduces the world's first...
- Donald Davenport: [pulling back a sheet dramatically] ... Proton Fuser!
- [no reactions]
- Leo Dooley: You know, for a scientist, you'd think your payoffs would be a bit more proportionate to your buildups.
- Chase Davenport: Um, Mr. Davenport, isn't it dangerous to tinker with the fabric of the universe?
- Adam Davenport: Oh, ho-ho-ho. He said "tinker."
- Donald Davenport: Yes, technically it could destabilize the Earth or open up a wormhole into a parallel universe, but... I made it and I wanna play with it, so...
- Tasha Davenport: Your room is a mess and you haven't washed the dishes in days.
- Leo Dooley: But I've been looking forward to this movie all week.
- Tasha Davenport: And I've been looking forward to clean dishes all week.
- Leo Dooley: Really? Well, that's just sad.
- Leo Dooley: I just shot lightning out of my fingers. I don't know what's going on, but I'm terrified to pick my nose.
- [Principa Perry offers Leo a cookie from the school's gourmet cafeteria]
- Leo Dooley: "Gourmet?" This coming from a woman who thinks mold is a vegetable?
- Leo Dooley: Hey, what're YOU doin' here?
- Donald Davenport: I always pick you up from school. A, your mother insists on it, and... B, it's the few minutes a day I can enjoy natural sunlight.
- Donald Davenport: Leo, it's hot in the car and I'm not allowed to use the air conditioning, so are you coming or not?
- Agent Gordon: We don't know how you do what you do. We're going to find out, even if it takes ten years in an isolated desert warehouse. Hope you sweat a lot. That's the only water you'll get.
- Tasha Davenport: [grabbed by an agent] Watch the suit or I'm telling your boss!
- Agent Gordon: I AM his boss.
- Tasha Davenport: Then... he's touching my suit!
- Principal Perry: Does my little schnookie need a cookie?
- Leo Dooley: I suppose your little schnookie could take a lookie at a cookie.