Tag (I) (2018)

Jon Hamm: Bob Callahan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hoagie : Synchronize your watches.

  Callahan : I don't know how to do that.

  Randy : I don't have a watch.

  Sable : Time is a construct.

• Callahan : [as Jerry is slapped while singing over the closing credits]  You're it!

  Jerry : Fucker!

  [Runs out of frame] 

• Randy : [to Jerry]  Yeah, you're really good at tag.

  Hoagie : Yes, but you've kind of missed the point. I mean, it's not about trying to get away from each other. It's actually about having a reason to be around each other. You know?

  Jerry : [Quietly]  Yeah.

  Hoagie : I mean, Ben Franklin said it best. Am I right? "We don't stop playing because we grow old."

  Hoagie , Randy , Callahan , Anna Malloy : "We grow old because we stop playing.""

• Randy : [after getting away from Hoagie]  You ain't getting me today, man. I'm not losing.

  Hoagie : There's only one problem, Chilli.

  Randy : Oh, yeah? What's that?

  Hoagie : I'm not it.

  Randy : The fuck you mean, you're not it?

  Callahan : [Running into frame and tackling Chilli]  I AM, MUTHAFUCKA!

• Jerry : Verbal amendment. That women should be playing.

  Callahan : Amendment.

  Randy : Yeah, amendment.

  Anna Malloy : [Realizing she is now "it.']  Oh. Oh, you just made a big mistake.

  Jerry : [Jerry runs away]  You're it bitch!

  Anna Malloy : [Anna looks around and spots Randy]  You're it now! You're going down!

  Randy : You're too intense!

  Anna Malloy : You're gonna suck my tiny ginger balls!

  Randy : Oh gross!

  Anna Malloy : You're gross!

  [Anna screams and tackles Randy] 

• Callahan : Don't touch me when we're on a truce. It's very patronizing.

  Jerry : Yeah, it was kinda weird for me too.

• Jerry : Mr. Stubbles has something to say. What was that?

  [pretends to listen to stuffed bear] 

  Jerry : He says his skin's very dry and needs to be moisturized.

  [squirts lotion onto his hands] 

  Hoagie : Jerry, put down Mr. Snuggles, so help me God.

  Rebecca Crosby : What's happening here?

  Randy : I think he's about to masturbate in Hoagie's childhood bedroom.

  Callahan : Oh no.

  Sable : It's the ultimate act of dominance.

  Jerry : I'm gonna stay here until you come. Unless I come first.

  Randy : You sly dog.

  [everyone bolts for the door] 

• Callahan : [Trying to read the letter Jerry slipped under the door]  Eat my... dick. Balls. Ass. Butt?

  Sable : Ice cream.

  Callahan , Rebecca Crosby : What?

  Sable : Yeah, he's taunting me. He knows I'm lactose intolerant.