- Donna 'Gurgs' Gurganous: [trying to explain to confused little girl who has seen a cafeteria room full of Santas] Virginia, these are Santa's body doubles. Are you familiar with Saddam Hussein?
- Dan Fielding: Tonight, a lot of people's Christmases are gonna be ruined because of you. And I think that's fun. But to put it in more festive terms, 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the court, there were sex workers and muggers, of every odd sort. There were pub-crawling Santas and pickpockets and drifters, and a pretty tough Knife-fight between two angry re-gifters. The festive old Judge, who just loved the season, was crushed all night long by hard facts and cold reason. She wanted to be Rudolph, or maybe a cartoon St. Bernard, but because it's her job, she had to Grinch it real hard. Despite a perfect defense, off to prison they'll head. Merry Chris-wanker-whatever and all that sugary crap, she said.