Jojo Rabbit (2019)
Sam Rockwell: Captain Klenzendorf
Photos
Quotes
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Captain Klenzendorf : Today you boys will be involved in such activities as marching, bayonet drills, grenade throwing, trench digging, map reading, gas defense, camouflage, ambush techniques, war games, firing guns and blowing stuff up.
[boys cheer]
Captain Klenzendorf : The girls will practice important womanly duties such as dressing wounds, making beds and learning how to get pregnant.
Fraulein Rahm : I had eighteen babies for the Fuhrer. It's a great year to be a girl!
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Jojo Betzler : If someone turned in a Jew, would they get a medal or something?
Captain Klenzendorf : Ah, Jews, Jews, Jews. Are you still going on about those people? You know I'm preparing the city for imminent invasion, right? I'm trying to plan a defense strategy.
[Indicates raisins on a map]
Captain Klenzendorf : I've got Americans to the west,
[indicates almonds on the map]
Captain Klenzendorf : got Russians to the east.
Fraulein Rahm : My friend once met some Russians, and they ate him.
Jojo Betzler : Who's the walnuts?
Captain Klenzendorf : Walnuts are just walnuts, kid.
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Captain Klenzendorf : Okay. If you see a Jew, you tell us, we tell the Gestapo, they tell the SS, and then they go out and they kill the Jew. And anyone who helped the Jew. And, because these are very paranoid times, probably some other people just in case. It's a pretty drawn-out process.
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Captain Klenzendorf : As part of our preparations for the invasion, I'm redesigning my uniform. Note, the feathers for aerodynamics, the sparkly color to dazzle the enemy, the boots purely decorative.
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[Jojo has just run out of the fog, grabbed a grenade out of his hand, and had it blow up in his face]
Captain Klenzendorf : [Instructs to the class] Don't... do that.
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Deertz : Heil Hitler!
Captain Klenzendorf : Heil Hitler!
Herr Junker : Heil Hitler!
Captain Klenzendorf : Heil Hitler!
Herr Mueller : Heil Hitler!
Captain Klenzendorf : Heil Hitler!
Herr Klum : Heil Hitler!
Captain Klenzendorf : Heil Hitler!
Herr Frosch : Heil Hitler!
Captain Klenzendorf : Heil Hitler.
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Captain Klenzendorf : Well, if it isn't Herr Handgrenade himself.
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Fraulein Rahm : Anyway, did you see one? A Jew?
Jojo Betzler : I'm not sure I'd be able to tell if I did.
Captain Klenzendorf : Me neither. Without their funny hats it's damn near impossible.
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Captain Klenzendorf : Can two-eyed people do this?
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Captain Klenzendorf : So, a little about me. Who am I and why am I here, talking to a bunch of little titty-grabbers, instead of leading my men into battle to their glorious deaths. Great question. I've been asking myself every day since operation "Screw up".
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Captain Klenzendorf : Look after your family. Look after this knife.
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Captain Klenzendorf : When I was your age I had an imaginary friend, called Conny. He used to wet my bed when I was asleep. He got me in so much trouble.
