A Field in England (2013)

Reece Shearsmith: Whitehead

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Quotes 

• O'Neil : You cannot escape the field, Whitehead!

  Whitehead : Then I shall become it! I shall consume all the ill fortune which you are set to unleash. I shall chew up all the selfish scheming and ill intentions that men like you force upon men like me, and bury it in the stomach of this place!

• Whitehead : [after coughing up stones carved with mysterious symbols]  Well, I have no recollection of consuming anything of the remotest sort.

  O'Neil : A man can hold a great deal inside that he does not comprehend. I am not familiar with these symbols, though.

  Whitehead : Nor I. I feel... Suddenly empty.

  O'Neil : Then maybe you should keep your mouth shut unless something else should rush in while you're not paying attention, because you are apparently nothing more than an envelope.

• Friend : You think about a thing before you touch it, am I right?

  Whitehead : Is that not usual?

  Friend : Not in Essex.

• Whitehead : Have you ever looked up?

  Friend : Sounds badly paid.

• Jacob : Am I bewitched?

  Whitehead : No. Sir, you merely suffer a disease in the private parts, occasioned by too much venereal sport.

  Jacob : 'This all?

  Whitehead : Well, I also deduce gout, bloody flux, apostem of the mouth, the pissing disease, St. Anthony's fire, iliac passion, hemorrhoids and palsy brought on by drink.

  Jacob : Then, I'm not turn into a frog?

  Whitehead : 'Tis the one complaint you do not suffer besides plague. All I can do is administer a poultice to your yard, to soothe.

  Jacob : Thank you.

• Whitehead : The coward is here.

• Jacob : Am I bewitched?

  Whitehead : No. Sir, you merely suffer a disease in the private parts, occasioned by too much venereal sport.

  Jacob : 'This all?

  Whitehead : Well, I also deduce gout, bloody flux, apostem of the mouth, the pissing disease, St. Anthony's fire, iliac passion, haemorrhoids and palsy brought on by drink.

  Jacob : Then, I'm not turn into a frog?

  Whitehead : 'Tis the one complaint you do not suffer besides plague. All I can do is administer a poultice to your yard, to soothe.

  Jacob : Thank you.