Holliston (TV Series)

Cursed (2013)

Joe Lynch: Joe

Quotes 

• Laura : See, Joe? And you always said that he'd never find anyone and that he would die alone.

  Joe : I never said that.

  Laura : Yes you did. You always said that. Everyday. You said "see, he's probably never gonna find anyone and he's gonna die alone."

  Joe : Crawl back to bed!

• Adam : Lance has the attention span of something with a short attention span- OH MY GOD! Did we have to add a woman to the writing staff?

  Adam : [Camera whips to reveal the writing staff and the men point at a lone confused looking woman. The camera whips back to the set and Adam addresses Joe again]  Quick, before she pitches another joke about her mom or her period!

  Female staff writer : [Off screen]  I have a good joke about air travel!

  Joe : ANYWAY...

• Joe : Anyway, the cursed video tape... I subliminally edited it into a Winger video. Lance will watch it. Trust me.

  Lance Rockett : Good evening, Holliston!

  Joe : What do you mean there's a director cut of Winger's video for Seventeen, Adam?

  Lance Rockett : FALSE! There is only one cut in existence of the Seventeen video. I'm calling bullshit.

• Laura : There's gotta be someone we know that deserves to die.

  Joe : Is it too late to send the tape to Tony Todd? Cause that guy sucks.

  Corri : That guy totally sucks.

  Adam : He sucks so bad.

  Laura : He was not white.

  [Off of everyone's offended looks] 

  Laura : Was that too much?

• Joe : Tonight's presentation is THE RING. One of the better remakes to come out of the 2000's where if it wasn't a remake horror fans wouldn't see it.

• Joe : Hold on, did you just make out or did you... hook up?

  Adam : We just made out.

  Joe : What base?

  Adam : Base. What are we, eight?

  Joe : Did you see her naked?

  Adam : That is none of your business.

  Joe : Did she at least touch your thingy?

  Adam : We kissed! OK? That's all. We kissed. And it was... sweet. And it was tender. And it was romantic

  [Dodging Joe's hand slap] 

  Adam : It's not always about getting your thingy touched, Joe. Sometimes it's about being touched... here.

  [Adam slaps Joe and runs for his bedroom]