- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I don't know how I didn't see it before. He was... he was USING me!
- Major Monogram: Dr. Doofenshmirtz!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I trusted him and he just cast me aside like a... like... like an old newspaper. He didn't even wrap fish in me.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wait a minute, wait a minute. How did you get the sunglasses to go on one side of your face. Who made these, M.C. Escher?
- Major Monogram: He was a family friend. Now, get on the plane!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I'm building a Re-Good-inator solely from parts from this plane. Do you know how many evil scientists could actually accomplish this?
- Major Monogram: I'll be impressed when we don't plummet to earth on fire.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh, stop panicking, Francis. I haven't even touched the main stabilizers... you know, yet.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wait, wait. You guys are gonna give me a ride back, aren't you?
- Major Monogram: Sure, Heinz. After all, home is where the prisons are.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You're kidding, right?
- Major Monogram: Do you want a ride or not?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Not if you're not kidding.