Gilgamesh (2014)

Richard Chandler: Special Agent Lars

Photos 

Quotes 

• Special Agent Lars : Welcome to my America. With liberty and justice... for me.

• Special Agent Lars : They say you can attract more flies with honey than vinegar. But if it's flies that you're after, then rotting flesh has always seemed to do the trick.

• Angela Kozlov : Wait! I feel like I have a job for her in the White House.

  Special Agent Lars : Call it home, my dear. I like the sound of that.

  US Vice-President : What could you possibly need me for?

  Angela Kozlov : [to the US Vice-President]  We need someone to clean up the dog shit in our backyard.

• Special Agent Lars : I was going to offer you immunity for the launch codes. But since Senator Higgins has decided to play ball, we really have no use for you.

  US Vice-President : You can shove your Party up your ass, Commie!

  Special Agent Lars : That wasn't very nice. I suppose we'll just kill you now.

• Special Agent Lars : Our former Commander-In-Chief only picked you as his running mate because you are a woman of younger age. It's the New Age. You've always got to put something fresh and exciting in the White House. Why not me?

• US Vice-President : I handed you your last assignment.

  Special Agent Lars : Oh, I know. And I completed it.

  US Vice-President : It was to find the corruption in the president's circle. There was a mole at the CIA.

  Special Agent Lars : I found the corruption. It was all of you. And after the purge, it will be none of you.

• Special Agent Lars : You can now choose your method of death.

  US Vice-President : What are my options?

  Special Agent Lars : Angela?

  Angela Kozlov : Hmmm... This bitch isn't worth my sweat. Let's leave her for the rats. They deserve a little something too, you know.

  US Vice-President : No! You're the rats! You're the fucking rats!

  Special Agent Lars : They won't come if they don't smell blood. Give them a little bit of incentive.

• Special Agent Lars : I don't suppose that you believe in destiny?

  Kristen Murphy : I'm a scientist. No.

  Special Agent Lars : Maybe you should.

• Special Agent Lars : Did you know they have a term for when two superpowers fire all of their rockets at one another, knowing full well that nothing could survive that blast, yet they do it anyway? It's called Mutually Assured Destruction.

• Kristen Murphy : From one nerd to another, Mr. President, there's a reason why both Napoleon and Hitler failed to conquer Russia.

  Special Agent Lars : The terrain.

• Kristen Murphy : You're a monster.

  Special Agent Lars : I am a monster. And so is your baby.

  Kristen Murphy : Hey!

  Special Agent Lars : You don't even know what you have inside of you, woman! Yet you defend it. The same type of stupid human compassion that your husband had when he freed that bitch.

  Kristen Murphy : You're going to weaponize her...

  Special Agent Lars : Her. Or your baby.

  Kristen Murphy : You son-of-a-bitch!

• Special Agent Lars : Destroy the meteor, control the world.

• Special Agent Lars : We were out defeating Communism while you were just a twinkle in your father's eye.

• Special Agent Lars : She foresees our future. She requires the maximum amount of suffering for the human race. And one hot-as-fuck jungle night she emerged from the darkness before myself and Col. Meyers. Of course we had no rank back then. She promised us everlasting life. He didn't buy into any of that. But I did. And I accepted my life mission to bring forth that maximum amount of suffering. Quite frankly, I had thought she was the Lady of Fatima.