When I state for the record that Legally Exposed is a terrible motion picture, I know what the reaction is going to be. "It's a softcore skin flick! These things are made by people on the lower rungs of the Hollywood ecosystem as wanking material for those who can't hand real porn. What did you expect?" There is a lot of truth to that. Nothing like this is ever truly good in most senses of the word. Within the confines of the genre, however, some of these things are better than others. This is one of those others.
Doctor Fez (John La Zar) uncovers a device in an Egyptian tomb. It looks like a child's walkie talkie but is in fact capable of plunging any human being into the depth of uncontrollable arousal. Dr. Fez tests it on his hotel room maid and almost gets to second base before it's stolen. After a few random sex scenes of people using the "clicker", which is floating through the world's erotic black market, to seduce the object of their desires, the device winds up in the hands of LA lawyer Arthur Brimstone (Arthur Roberts). He uses it to get busy with the devious and demanding Victoria (Jacqueline Lovell) only to die in mid-boink. The "clicker" then falls into the hands of paralegal Ashley (Leigh Ann Garrett). She uses it for a little self-pleasure, to have sex with a hunky neighbor and to push her half-sister into screwing some dude she doesn't even like. Meanwhile, Victoria is searching for the "clicker" with the help of her sniveling associate, Jason (David Richard). They grab it and turn Ashley into a sex slave, only to have Dr. Fez and Hollywood super-agent Lou Birnbaum (Kim Dawson) ride to the rescue. Lou and Victoria have sex and then Dr. Fez uses the "clicker" to transform Ashley into another woman and then she has sex with Victoria. The movie ends with Dr. Fez using the "clicker" to sexually stimulate a lab mouse.
Now, Legally Exposed does have fairly attractive women in it and they do get naked at regular intervals. The sex scenes are rather tame and marred by some deeply aggravating camera work. You know that shot where two people are standing together and the camera rotates around them? That is director Hamilton Lewiston's "go to" technique for sex scenes and he does not know when to let it go. In scene after scene, it spins and spins like some R rated carousel and 30 seconds into the first scene, I was practically motion sick. This must be some kind of genetic flaw in atrocious directors because I've seen it before in crappy films where this rotating camera shot will persist for 2 or 3 or 4 minutes at a time.
There's also far too much man ass on display here and some down right odd creative choices. For Leigh Ann Garrett's masturbation scene in a bathtub, she wears a white dress shirt through the whole thing. For a few of the sex scenes, they completely change the lighting and it even looks like they're being shot with a different quality of video tape. There's also a scene in a morgue that is filled with fog, of all things. Did the coroner accidentally leave on the smoke machine he uses for his KISS cover band? And I'm sure you won't be surprised to learn that no one in this thing can act worth a damn.
Now, I know for a fact that not all softcore skin flicks have to suck like Legally Exposed. There's one out there called Sinful Temptations which is practically The Godfather compared to this one. The sex scenes are more involved. The direction is superior. The plot isn't so stupid that you feel embarrassed to be watching it. The cast can even believably emote. Again, it's not really good by the standards of regular films, but it does prove that you can make this kind of stuff without plumbing the depths of crap like Legally Exposed. No matter how horny you are, don't bother watching this.
Doctor Fez (John La Zar) uncovers a device in an Egyptian tomb. It looks like a child's walkie talkie but is in fact capable of plunging any human being into the depth of uncontrollable arousal. Dr. Fez tests it on his hotel room maid and almost gets to second base before it's stolen. After a few random sex scenes of people using the "clicker", which is floating through the world's erotic black market, to seduce the object of their desires, the device winds up in the hands of LA lawyer Arthur Brimstone (Arthur Roberts). He uses it to get busy with the devious and demanding Victoria (Jacqueline Lovell) only to die in mid-boink. The "clicker" then falls into the hands of paralegal Ashley (Leigh Ann Garrett). She uses it for a little self-pleasure, to have sex with a hunky neighbor and to push her half-sister into screwing some dude she doesn't even like. Meanwhile, Victoria is searching for the "clicker" with the help of her sniveling associate, Jason (David Richard). They grab it and turn Ashley into a sex slave, only to have Dr. Fez and Hollywood super-agent Lou Birnbaum (Kim Dawson) ride to the rescue. Lou and Victoria have sex and then Dr. Fez uses the "clicker" to transform Ashley into another woman and then she has sex with Victoria. The movie ends with Dr. Fez using the "clicker" to sexually stimulate a lab mouse.
Now, Legally Exposed does have fairly attractive women in it and they do get naked at regular intervals. The sex scenes are rather tame and marred by some deeply aggravating camera work. You know that shot where two people are standing together and the camera rotates around them? That is director Hamilton Lewiston's "go to" technique for sex scenes and he does not know when to let it go. In scene after scene, it spins and spins like some R rated carousel and 30 seconds into the first scene, I was practically motion sick. This must be some kind of genetic flaw in atrocious directors because I've seen it before in crappy films where this rotating camera shot will persist for 2 or 3 or 4 minutes at a time.
There's also far too much man ass on display here and some down right odd creative choices. For Leigh Ann Garrett's masturbation scene in a bathtub, she wears a white dress shirt through the whole thing. For a few of the sex scenes, they completely change the lighting and it even looks like they're being shot with a different quality of video tape. There's also a scene in a morgue that is filled with fog, of all things. Did the coroner accidentally leave on the smoke machine he uses for his KISS cover band? And I'm sure you won't be surprised to learn that no one in this thing can act worth a damn.
Now, I know for a fact that not all softcore skin flicks have to suck like Legally Exposed. There's one out there called Sinful Temptations which is practically The Godfather compared to this one. The sex scenes are more involved. The direction is superior. The plot isn't so stupid that you feel embarrassed to be watching it. The cast can even believably emote. Again, it's not really good by the standards of regular films, but it does prove that you can make this kind of stuff without plumbing the depths of crap like Legally Exposed. No matter how horny you are, don't bother watching this.
