Satanic Hispanics (2022) User Reviews

A VERY mixed bag

[RMurray847 · 5/10 · 19 September 2023]

"Mixed bag" is the perfect term for this admirable but flawed anthology. SATANIC HISPANICS follows in the long tradition of presenting horror stories in the form of an anthology, usually with some very loose device to tie the stories together. Here, the El Paso police have captured a mysterious man who identifies himself as "The Wanderer" and as they question him about the extremely unlikely scenario of having survived a massacre unscathed without actually being one of the bad guys, he has the opportunity to share with the cops some very interesting stories about other "supernatural" characters he has known.

He tells 4 stories, two of them "serious" and two humorous. I'll say right here that the more humorous stories, particularly one about a vampire on a deadline, are by far the best. The two more serious efforts are marred by some pretty bad acting and sloppy resolutions. One should not have to scratch ones head and wonder "what was that ending?" The comedies (which I would argue the wraparound story is as well) are just a little tighter.

Each story is directed by a different Hispanic director, and that's a fantastic idea as well. Not every director comes off equally well, as I mentioned, but it's still a great chance to let these folks show off some of their chops. The budget is VERY low indeed, and it shows in every story. But if you can appreciate that this low budget is forcing some creative work around special effects, sets, costumes, etc...that might add to your appreciation.

In total, I think I appreciated the effort, but found the results to be spotty. 2 funny stories, 1 serious but interesting scenario and 1 complete failure (the politically charged middle piece just doesn't work as commentary, horror or even on the level of using editing to keep the viewer understanding the action) and an amusing wraparound story. In total, I'm exactly on the middle of the fence. If you're a BIG horror fan, in all its iterations, you might embrace this more than I did. As a horror fan, but not an obsessive completist, it's a "meh" for me.

Add this to the so bad it's good list

[ykjdh · 5/10 · 16 September 2023]

The best way to describe this one is a Latino Creepshow with one of the original directors of 1999's Blair Witch Project. Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite is narrating horror stories as a wrap around character and each features a mostly Latino cast. While it's bad, it's also not very good or scary but more of wannabe Creepshow or even Trick of Treat 2006. There's a guy who can see some weird stuff with some kind of spell, a middle aged vampire married couple, a sucubus demon lady, and Pedro from napoleon dynamite.

This is something that you can wait for streaming or cable. The horror movie season is upon us and there hopefully will be better films coming soon.

Watchable horror anthology...

[paul_haakonsen · 6/10 · 16 January 2024]

Right, well of course I had not heard about this 2023 horror movie titled "Satanic Hispanics", prior to sitting down in 2024 to watch it. I had the opportunity to do so, and with it being a horror movie that I hadn't already seen, of course I opted to give the movie a chance.

I was intrigued by the movie's cover, as it does look interesting, but I have to admit that the movie's title is just abysmal.

But had I known it was a horror anthology, I do believe I would have skipped it, as horror anthologies tend to be dubious and questionable affairs. However, with having just sat through the entire 112 minutes of it, I will say that "Satanic Hispanics" proved to be somewhat better than your average horror anthology, not great though, but adequate for what it was.

I was for the most parts unfamiliar with the cast ensemble, aside from Efren Ramirez and Greg Grunberg. And I must say that Efren Ramirez was so well-cast for the role of The Traveler in the narrative that ties the segments together, and he definitely made it well-worth sitting through this anthology. The acting performances in the various segments were good, and that certainly counted for something and made it all the more enjoyable to sit through the anthology.

"Satanic Hispanics" has some good and less good segments, as it usually goes with horror anthologies. But I guess that means there is a chance that it hits a wider audience and there might just be something for everyone to enjoy here. And while I did manage to sit through the 112 minutes that it ran for, this is hardly something that I will ever return to watch a second time.

It should be noted that the special effects in the anthology are good, and they definitely add something good to the overall impression of the segments.

My rating of "Satanic Hispanics" lands on a six out of ten stars.

Well-produced Horror Tostada

[mojoguzzi-879-68498 · 7/10 · 23 March 2024]

As others have pointed out, this is a very mixed bag, a loose collection of horror tales of varying tone, ranging from one seriously creepy offering from Damien Rugna, who previously gave us the ultra-creepy Terrified, to a handful of more or less comedic stories.

Production values are topnotch. The efx are excellent in design and execution, from the Goya-esque monstrosity in Rugna's segment to various demons in the others. Casting, acting, direction, cinematography and costumes are equally good. The production designers and art directors made some interesting uses of color.

The script is a collection of unconnected one or two act shorts strung together by a storyteller wraparound. Rugna's "Tambien Lo V" stands out as the only truly scary one in the bunch, but the rest are entertaining in their own way. Think "Tales of the Darkside" with elevated production values - lightweight genre fare typical of Epic's ouevre.

Overall this is a great showcase for the directors, actors and crew. But to be honest, most of my rating is due to Rugna's contribution, because he's one of the rare directors today delivering genuine horror.

mostly good

[SnoopyStyle · 7/10 · 13 December 2023]

A police SWAT team finds a sole survivor (Efren Ramirez) after a mass murder of Latino victims. Police detectives Arden (Greg Grunberg) and Gibbons (Sonya Eddy) are interrogating him. He claims that he needs to leave in 90 minutes or else. He starts telling them ghost stories.

The wrap around story is "The Traveler". I like it and it puts in a ticking time clock right away. The first ghost story is "Tambien Lo Vi" and I like it. I like the whole concept of the light. Quite frankly, that could be a whole horror film on its own. That's coming next from Blumhouse. The second ghost story is "El Vampiro" and it reminds me so much of "What We Do in the Shadows". Again it would work great as one of its episodes. The third ghost story is "Nahaules" and it's fine. It's a lot blood and gore and horror makeup. It's above average work, but the story isn't much. The fourth ghost story is "The Hammer of Zanzibar" and it's not my first dildo fight. It's not even the second one and that concept is getting a little derivative. It would have work so much better if this came out a few years earlier. I would have laughed out loud at the sight of it, but as it stands, I said, "Oh! They're doing that thing."

This is as good or better than most B-horrors like Creepshow and such. Being a little late to the dildo fight party cannot be blamed on them. They probably created the idea well before those others came out. As for the rest, they range from very good to good enough. That's a very good batting average.

A wholly mixed bag of an anthology

[kannibalcorpsegrinder · 5/10 · 30 November 2023]

After raiding a safe house, a group of detectives questions the sole survivor of the incident about his past and the others at the location with him launching him into stories about the participants.

The Good Stor(ies): El Vampiro-Stuck outside on daylight savings, a self-centered vampier unaware of the situation races against time and other distractions in the city to return to safety. This was a massively entertaining and hysterical segment. The goofiness and absurdity of the situations is matched by the physically intense situations that showcase how hilarious the whole thing is as the gags on display here prove to be clever, unique, and pulled off quite well. It's all due to his inherent stupidity that makes the situation endearing more than aggravating, and while the time limit he finds himself under disappears from the story to allow for some jokes it all comes together in the end to make this a highlight segment.

The Hammer of Zanzibar-Meeting up with an old flame, a man reveals that their past exploits have awakened a malicious being that has killed their friends and needs to be taken down before it's too late. This was an overall decent idea but doesn't have much else going for it. The central premise here has some fun times involving the mythical figures and their powers is a highly enjoyable storyline that has such an involved setup it's rushed through due to the unorthodox structure. This one really should've been a regular feature due to the kind of lore and backstory that's at play, especially since this one looks cheap and cheesy when it really shouldn't so it's got a lot to like even with some issues involved.

The Bad Stor(ies): Tambien Lo Vi-Trying to prepare for an upcoming tournament, a man finds his focus challenged by the supposedly haunted location he stays at to help him practice. For the most part, this was a pretty bland and uneventful start to this film. The core concept involving the inadvertent discovery of the gateway into another dimension and the resultant shocks that come about when encountering the spirits prove to be quite fun, but it takes way too long to get there as we're stuck with his interactions with his wife about the tournament or the pseudo-scientific nonsense about how the portal came to be which aren't all that interesting and make this feel far more dull and sluggish than it should've been.

Nahuales-Running away from an oppressive force, a man trying to carry out a clandestine operation for a shady figure to gain his freedom finds the supernatural entities he's from have caught up to him. This was a disappointing segment as it could've been a lot of fun. The inherent suspense of the situation involving the forces he's on the run from but won't show on screen gives this some intriguing work to start, and the exploits with the witch in the woods offer some gruesome visuals as this goes along. However, very little of this makes sense with the secretive nature of what's happening meaning nothing is spelled out and it's hard to know who's on what side or the point behind it which does lower this significantly.

The Traveler-After raiding a safe house, a group of detectives question the sole survivor of the incident about his past and the others at the location with him. This is an intriguing start but serves as a clunky means of bringing everything together. The story itself is fine enough and provides a lot of action at the end to wrap it up in an explosion of frenzied set pieces quite nicely, but on the whole, the varying tone that arises here due to the bizarre order of the segments that goes from serious to comedy and back again is rather odd. The whole interstitial segments setting up the story to be told are troubling as well with the awkward means of bringing up the next story, making this all quite awkward overall.

Rated R: Graphic Violence and Graphic Language.

weird spanish child or version of VHS

[guinden · 5/10 · 20 November 2023]

This movie is weird. Hard to describe cause it feels like the horror movies VHS but the tone is different.

Each chapter had different directors and it is clearly felt through the movie.

I still think the first and second one was the best which had serious tone and from that you can say the vampire one was funny cause it was but that huge tone shift a little bit killed the immersion for me.

Cause between the chapters we always go back to the wanderer which is serious so it was impossible to get back from comedy to serious to horror to comedy to serious these switching ruined the movie for me.

Overall i still think it is ok for a one night popcorn movie but i wish the director who made the first chapter or first two will have the opportunity to direct some full horror movie cause it was really well done.

Moronic Hispanics

[cahidi · 4/10 · 25 April 2024]

This movie is a two hour long anthology about Spanish tales and myths. At first I thought that they would've been legitimate horror stories. But as it turns out, most of them were horror comedies. And what's worse wasn't even the cheap fake blood, obvious fake body parts, or even the lame jokes. The worse part is realizing that all of those unfunny side stories wasn't even related directly to the main story. The only decent part of this movie happened at the last chapter of the movie (typical cheap anthology). And the best part of the movie ended as quickly it begun. I don't recommend you waste two hours of your life for this compilation of stupid stories.

Brilliant, I loved it

[eric-06452 · 9/10 · 19 November 2023]

At first I thought, what am I looking at? After a while the story starts to get more and more bizarre and also funnier. As far as I'm concerned, it's a cult film. I really think this movie is great.

Normally I don't write a review so quickly, but for this film I would like to make an exception.

The acting in this film is good, the special effects are also very good. This film is, to say the least, brilliant and bizarre in the best sense of the word.

I can tell you all kinds of things about this film, but you just have to experience it yourself.

Just watch this movie and let it all wash over you. You will not regret it.

I hope you will enjoy this movie like i did.

It's a no for me

[laly-44494 · 3/10 · 9 March 2024]

I'm Hispanic and I was so happy to know this movie was being added to shudder today. Have to say I'm a fan of everything horror related. The movie is 85% in English, so there goes the Hispanic part, and it seemed more like a parody than a horror anthology. I'm sorry, I wanted to like this, but the only good thing about this movie was Damien Rugna' short. Him and that short surely don't belong in this anthology at all.

His work here is definitely an 8/10, the rest of the movie is hardly a 3/10. If you want horror or at least something creepy, just watch the first short, you can definitely skip the rest.

What a waste

[msdqtfpgm · 1/10 · 21 March 2024]

Stupid. What a ridiculous movie, satanic Hispanics, what a poor representation of the Hispanic culture in the most B movie rated hypocrisy I just couldn't stand it. I couldn't even watch half of it. A lot of people said it was good, but it really wasn't. The storyline was horrible. The acting was average The way they over the top put obvious fake blood and gore to keep it interesting. . Pace was ridiculous the Hispanic vampire, overweight, typical stereotype of a Hispanic, same thing with the wife, or the girlfriend or whatever you wanna call it I just find it reprehensible that this can be even on TV And that the people would allow themselves to be portrayed like this. I get it it's a horror movie more like a ridiculous movie but what a waste I wouldn't ever go watch it they need to get rid of this movie. I don't know why people even gave it more than one start rating, it's just a stupid. I wasted 50 minutes of my life I will never get back.

Demon Knights

[thesar-2 · 5/10 · 4 May 2024]

While you'll sorely miss Billy Zane, at least Greg Grunberg is in the bulk of this story.

If you made it to the fifth/final story and into the credits, lucky you. Not only will you be told "No Latinos were harmed in the making of this motion picture," you at least got to the only notable story in this anthology.

Sadly, of the four stories (with one main wraparound,) only one was really good. They must've known that, too, by saving the best for last. Though that said, the wraparound was interesting enough even if it's pretty clichéd and sometimes forces the storytelling of the chapters.

"The Traveler" is the sole survivor of a massacre and while being investigated by disbelieving detectives, he recounts Latino-based short horror stories, some of which he wouldn't/couldn't have known the details of. There's the tale of the Rubik's Cube stand-in for the Lament Configuration: "Tambien Lo Vi" - definitely the 2nd best one, "El Vampiro" which tries to be too slapstickish, "Nahaules" which makes the least sense about sacrifices I guess and "The Hammer of Zanzibar"...the very reason to watch this movie.

While it's perfect as a short movie and probably shouldn't be fleshed out, "The Hammer of Zanzibar" was incredibly funny, well thought-out and raised the bar on the entire anthology of so-so entries. Mercifully, this, in addition to the very well-done practical gore effects throughout and Efren Ramirez's charm as "The Traveler," I would recommend this feature.

You just gotta get through some rough, though not terrible, short stories and you'll be rewarded.

***

Final Thoughts: The reference to Billy Zane in the intro was to the 10x better movie, Tales from the Crypt Presents Demon Knight. He had enough charisma in that movie to fill the entire Tales from the Crypt series. While "The Traveler" reminds me of more of his costar, William Sadler's character, this wraparound just gushed with Demon Knight vibes. Also, I always have a crush on Greg Grunberg. He better watch out, though...Efren Ramirez was far better looking in this feature...

So Good

[njfyfbg · 10/10 · 10 March 2024]

This is an excellent movie. I agree that it will become a cult classic. Wonderful acting, directing and writing. My Husband and I love that they rotated more serious stories with horror comedy.

All the 5 star reviews are really undeserved as this is a great horror anthology. Perfect amount of gore and story. Highly recommend to horror anthology enthusiasts or horror enthusiasts that like multiple genres of horror.

I hope this spurs more movies from these directors. I cannot wait to see what they have in store for us in the coming years. I would actually like to see more from the traveler and what other stories he has to tell us!

Satanic Hispanics is a lively addition to the horror genre that's definitely worth your time

[kevin_robbins · 8/10 · 11 April 2024]

I recently watched the Mexican horror anthology 🇲🇽 Satanic Hispanics (2022) on Shudder. The storyline follows the police breaking into a building where a vicious shootout took place and find a lone survivor. They take him back to the police station and begin interrogating him only to uncover supernatural tales, he may be invulnerable, and someone may be on the way to kill them all...

Directed by five notable directors including Eduardo Sanchez (The Blair Witch Project), Alejandro Brugués (Juan of the Dead), Mike Mendez (Big Ass Spider), Gigi Saul Guerrero (Bingo Hell), and Demián Rugna (Terrified), this picture stars Efren Ramirez (Crank: High Voltage), Sonya Eddy (Inspector Gadget), Greg Grunberg (Hollowman), Thomas Haley (9 Ways to Hell), and Jessica Cameron (Truth or Dare).

This is a unique and well-executed modern horror anthology. It features a nice mix of shootouts, comedy, and gore. The opening shootout was entertaining and well done. While the interrogation scenes were far-fetched, they provided a nice way to keep the content moving. The mutilation scenes were particularly enjoyable, and the vampire segment was hilarious. The blood splatter and decapitations were also entertaining. The horror elements overall are top-notch - masks, costumes, and props were well-executed, especially the demon killer weapon at the ending. The demon costume at the end was perfect.

In conclusion, Satanic Hispanics is a lively addition to the horror genre that's definitely worth your time. I would score it a 7.5/10 and strongly recommend it.