- Andy Bellefleur: Anyway, now that the cat's out of the bag, uh, if you wanna, I don't know, take whatever this is to the next level, we got nothing to lose.
- Holly Cleary: Sheriff Andy, are you asking me to go steady?
- Andy Bellefleur: I guess I am.
- Holly Cleary: You realize I'm a witch, right? My kids are delinquents. I live in a motel.
- Andy Bellefleur: Well, I live with my grandma, and I'm an alcoholic and a recovering V addict and the laughingstock of the Renard Parish Sheriff's Department.
- Tracy: Honey, you are hotter than barbecue Tabasco sauce in that dress. But if you're doing all this for Jason Stackhouse, trust me, you don't gotta work so hard.
- Jessica Hamby: What's that supposed to mean?
- Tracy: Well, there ain't no nice way of saying this, but God gave that boy a penis and a brain... only enough blood to run one at a time.
- Rosalyn Harris: You killed Hayes, conspired with known Sanguinistas to aid in Compton and Northman's escape. As we say in Texas, honey, if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing you do is stop digging.
- Nora Gainesborough: And as we say in Surrey, sod the fuck off, you cunting twat!
- Rosalyn Harris: Here's my theory: I think you did it all for love. So which one is it, hmm? The sheriff or the king? Both? Well, see, now that's a sandwich I'd take a bite out of anytime.
- Roman Zimojic: Nan Flanagan, may the cold bitch rest in peace, went on CNN and told the world Russell Edgington had met the true death more than a year ago. Tonight, however, we have learned that he is still very much alive.
- Steve Newlin: Excuse me, sir, but says who? Elvis was spotted buying turkey jerky in a 7-Eleven in Yakima last Thursday, but that doesn't mean he's still alive.
- Eric Northman: What is that?
- Molly: We call it the I-Stake.
- Eric Northman: That's catchy.
- Molly: Right? One click and this little sucker will pierce your heart faster than a bullet. Wooden-tipped, of course. All right, there you go. Pinches a little, I know, but you'll get used to it. Just imagine it's a training bra.
- Eric Northman: Well, it's been a long time since I wore one.
- Bill Compton: How do you trigger these devices?
- Molly: There's an app for that.
- Bill Compton: You're joking.
- Molly: Nope. So if you try to do something stupid like attack me or try to run away or whatever, click and splat.
- Bill Compton: Efficient.
- Molly: Same applies if you try and remove the harnesses, FYI. These things are totally indestructible; waterproof, fireproof, yadda yadda yadda, knows who you had for breakfast and where you go to ground. So do yourselves a favor... don't fuck around, okay? You guys are too cute to be goo.
- Jill Steeler: So, what's your life been like? Are you married? You have a girlfriend?
- Jason Stackhouse: I ain't had the best of luck in that department. One died right next to me, one was married to a gay preacher. Crystal was a...
- [Looks at the cat]
- Jason Stackhouse: Let's not even go there. But right now I'm fuck buddies with the love of my best friend's life, who's a teenage vampire.
- Eric Northman: It is you I came to see.
- Pam De Beaufort: A good merchant doesn't compete with her merchandise, sir.
- Eric Northman: And a good customer knows everything has its price.
- Salome Agrippa: Do you know who I am?
- Bill Compton: You're Salome, beheader of John the Baptist, dancer of the Seven Veils.
- Salome Agrippa: Don't believe everything you read. The human Bible, it's little better than "Us Weekly."
- Pam: Just because we drank a bitch together doesn't make us Oprah and Gale, now get the f*ck back to work.