- Eliza: The first lesson for a lady-in-training is about posture. Honestly, I'm not quite sure why this is but, from birth, all proper ladies are warned that they must stand and sit completely vertically straight, and even the tiniest bend or deviation on one's spine will lead directly to a life of horror and destitution.
- Candace: Makes sense.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: For generations, philosophers have asked, "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" The answer - by the way, OBVIOUSLY - is of course it does! I mean, dah!, right? Philosophers!... Get a job, thinky-boy!
- Ferb's Cousin #1: Oy, cousin Ferb, we're dreadful sorry for giving you such a hard time. You're a brilliant footballer, an all-around good chap, and a Brit through and through.
- Ferb: Actually, lads, I'm not a Brit or a Yank, I'm just Ferb.
- Candace: [with books atop her head] I don't get it. What... Do polite people not have bookshelves in your country?
- Ferb's Cousin #2: [describing the Emu Curse] If you're holding the ball and a herd of emus carries off your assistant coach, then you're cursed to never be on a winning team again.
- Phineas: Wow! British curses are really specific.
- Soccer Player #1: It's not whether you score the goal, it's how good you look while kicking the ball.
- Adrian: Good to know you, Phineas. I hear about you all the time.
- Dad: Oh, so you're been reading my newsletter.
- Adrian: Oh, heavens, no. I read Ferb's blog.
- Dad: Well, at least you've learned to read.
- Adrian: Ouch!
- Dad: Why don't we go inside and continue our good-natured sibling rivalry there?
- Adrian: Yes. That way you won't be humiliated in front of the children.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Seriously, if I was a hot tub, people would be getting out of me. They'd be, like, "Wow, Heinz Doofenshmirtz is way too hot. We should get out of him."
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Behold! The If-a-Tree-Fell-in-the-Forest-Inator! Dun-da-daaaah! One blast from this puppy will knock over a tree - or anything else for that matter - and the sound it will make will be...
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: [whispering] ... "Doofenshmirtz."
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: [regular voice] I will have eternal fame as the answer to that one philosophical question.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Whoa, check it out, Perry the Platypus, I'm... I'm totally beating you inadvertently - and when I say "inadvertently" I completely mean "vertently."
- Linda Flynn-Fletcher: Oh, sibling rivalry is so attractive.
- Lucy Fletcher: Ady has such a healthy competitive spirit.