- St Michael: You've been chosen to lead the French army in a righteous battle against the oppressive English invaders.
- Joan of Arc: Nah, zere must've been a mix-up.
- St Michael: Why would you say that?
- Joan of Arc: Well, because A: I'm just an illiterate peasant, C: I'm a girl and A: I'm 14!
- Bob Hale: It turns out that the Roundhead leader, Oliver Cromwell, is about as much fun as stinging nettle underpants.