- Waiter: Well, gentlemen, what's your fancy?
- Phineas: Wealth, fame, glory, money, and the preservation of semi-mystical historical treasures - but we'll settle for hot fudge sundaes.
- Candace: There's a scoop here and I can smell it - or they haven't invented deodorant soap yet. But there's still a scoop.
- Baljeet: Last stop! I'm afraid there is no way to get to the east coast by boat, unless you go all the way around South America.
- Buford: Nothin' but jungle from here on out!
- Phineas: Care to come with us?
- Baljeet: And spoil my carefully calculated air of selfishness and unconcern? Not until the last second, thank you very much.
- Phineas: [as Baljeet and Buford drive away] Wow, authentic riverboat gibberish!
- [Perry makes a musical entrance]
- Chorus Girls: Per-ry!
- Unseen Soloist: [voice] He's a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action!
- Chorus Girls: In a fez!
- Unseen Soloist: [voice] He's got more than just mad skill. He's got a beaver tail and a bill.
- Chorus Girls: And a fez!
- Unseen Soloist: [voice] He's Per-ry! Perry the Platypus!
- Major Monogram: [voice] But you may call him Agent P.
- Major Monogram: Doofenshmirtz claims to have given up evil. He even signed this "I Give Up Evil" affidavit to apply for work at the agency - and normally we could have rejected him because he's not an animal, but, as it turns out, he was adopted by ocelots, making him, in the eyes of the law, an ocelot.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Rrreow!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Well, well, well, Ohio Flynn and Rhode Island Fletcher. What are you doing here?
- Phineas: That depends. Why are you slow-clapping?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I don't know. I thought it would make my entrance more dramatic. And it totally worked.
- Phineas: [to Ferb] You know, he's right. It WAS more dramatic.
- Carl: Why are we wearing a fez in the middle of Central America anyway?
- Major Monogram: You mean we're not in Egypt? I THOUGHT those pyramids were kind of stair-steppy.