Holliston (TV Series)

Skunked (2012)

Laura Ortiz: Laura

Photos 

Quotes 

• Laura : Where are we gonna find vinegar in Holliston at midnight?

  Corri : Cumberland Farms is open 24 hours, right?

  Laura : What time does Market BASKET open?

  Corri : You mean MARKET Basket?

  Laura : Market BASKET.

  Corri : No the emphasis is on "market". MARKET Basket.

  Laura : Market BASKET.

  Corri : No, MARKET Basket.

  Laura : Market BasKET.

  Corri : MARKET, MARKET Basket.

  Laura : Market, Market BASKET.

  Corri : No, say "market". Market than Basket.

  Laura : Market, Market BASKET.

  Corri : It's MARKET Basket.

  Laura : Market BASKET.

  Corri : MARKET, MARKET, MARKET Basket!

  Laura : Market, Market, Market BASKET.

  Corri : Try whispering "basket".

  Laura : Market

  [whispered] 

  Laura : basket.

  Corri : The emphasis isn't on "basket". Do you know what "emphasis" means?

  Laura : No.

  Corri : So say the first part loud.

  Laura : MARKET LOUD.

  Corri : What is this about? MARKET Basket. MARKET Basket.

  Laura : Market BASKET.

• Corri : Are they... in the bath together?

  Laura : Wouldn't be the first time. They're kind of like Bert and Ernie only they dress slightly better and I'm sleeping with Bert. That's right, Corri. You slept with Ernie. You slept with Ernie.

• Laura : Feeling not so fresh?

  Corri : No, douche is almost all vinegar.

  Laura : See? That's why you're a nurse and I'm an artist. You're smart at useless stuff. I'm cute, talented, and fun to be around. I win.

• Clerk : So, uh, what are you ladies up to tonight?

  Laura : Washing our Sarlacc Pits. What's your name?

  Clerk : They didn't give me a name. I'm just "Clerk".

  Corri : Really? That sucks for your credits.

  Clerk : I know. But I figure when I update my resume I'll just make up a name. I was thinking Detective McManus.

  Laura : Ooooh!

  Corri : Detective? That's awesome. That totally sounds like a lead.

  Clerk : Right?

  Corri : Or at least a co-star.

• Laura : You said "vagina".

• Laura : This is profiling and you know it!

• Officer Duffy : OK, one more time. Who exactly are these "friends"?

  Laura : [Crying]  One of them is my boyfriend the other is her ex! Don't I get a last meal or something?

  Officer Pappas : That's for people on death row.

  Laura : Can I meet Morgan Freeman?

  Officer Duffy : What?

  Laura : I want my phone call! I get a phone call!

  Officer Pappas : Ladies, you're not under arrest.

  Corri : I'd like to speak to my lawyer.

  Officer Pappas : Really? Let's call him up right now. What's that phone number?

  Corri : Six one seven. Eight nine... twelve.

  Officer Pappas : Twelve?

  Officer Duffy : That's not even a number.

• Corri : This is ridiculous!

  Laura : I told you we should have gone to Market BASKET!

  Corri : MARKET Basket.

  Laura : Market BASKET!

  Corri : No, MARKET. Not Market BASKET. MARKET Basket.

  Laura : Market BASKET!

  Corri : No, whisper the Basket.

  Laura : Market

  [whispered] 

  Laura : basket!

  Corri : No loud whispering! What's with the loud whispering? It's MARKET Basket!

  Laura : Market BASKET!

  Officer Duffy : Excuse me. The inflection would actually be on Market. So like MARKET Basket.

  Corri : See? MARKET Basket. MARKET Basket.

  Laura : Market BASKET!

  Officer Pappas : [Slams his fist on the desk]  God damnit! Where's the whore house? Where do you turn tricks?

• Laura : [Holding out her hands]  I suggest you cuff us first so that we don't jump out and run like last time. And you might want to put a Hannibal Lechter mask on this one.

  [Motioning to Corri] 

  Laura : She bites.

  Corri : [to the police]  Yeah, I don't know her.

  Laura : Whatever Kaiser Soze.

  Officer Duffy : Actually, it's Kaiser Soza.

  Laura : Whatever, fuck

  [Beeped out] 

  Laura : you.

• Adam : Axl is still missing.

  Laura : Axl? He's in Joe's room. I locked him in there when I vacuumed earlier.

  Adam : What.

  Joe : We have a vacuum?

• Officer Pappas : You know what obstruction of justice is?

  Laura : You ever hear of wrongful detainment and sexual harassment?

  [Puts Officer Pappas' hand on her breast] 

  Laura : Oh, Officer! I'm only fourteen!