- Candace: [on phone to Stacy] Jeremy and I aren't really engaged, but we're totally engaged to be engaged to be engaged. And, by the way, that's on a need-to-know basis. Now, why would Jeremy need to know?
- Isabella: Guys, what would you rather do - watch paint dry or lasso wild dolphins and ride 'em across the high seas?
- Phineas: What color paint? Can it be beige?
- Isabella: [gasps] This can't be happening! Baljeet, you speak boring. See if you can do anything.
- Baljeet: Oh, I speak boring? And getting your whittling patch is SO exciting!
- Buford: Meow! Cat fight!
- [Vanessa had walked in right as her father seemed to speak disparagingly about her]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh, this is like one of those sit-coms where somebody says something that's misconstrued and the snoopy next door neighbor gets the wrong package delivered after his in-laws come to visit and somebody has two dates on the same night and they have to paint a white line down the middle of the room. But this isn't a sit-com, Parry the Platypus. This is real life! And... I'm... and I'm the father, and I have to treat her with the respect that she deserves in a caring and fatherly fashion. I'll blast her with one of my inators. Wait here.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: What? You're wearing headphones? So you haven't heard a thing I've said all day?
- Vanessa: Why do you think I wear the headphones?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: So you're not mad at me for saying I'd rather have a son than a daughter like you?
- Vanessa: [flatly] What?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh, nothing, nothing. Just put these back on.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Hey, wait a minute, you're not my son! You're that walking junk pile, Norm.
- Norm: But, Dad!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: And I am NOT your father. I'm fairly sure about that.
- Norm: B-b-b-b-but...
- [last lines]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Hey, buddy. Are you, eh... are you busy?
- Norm: No. Not really.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You know, Norm, it occurs to me that though I've never had a son, there is someone I can always count on to be there, someone I've begun to think of as family.
- Norm: Yes?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: And that someone is Perry the Platypus. See ya around, junk pile!
- [Doofenshmirtz exits]
- Norm: [brightly] Apology accepted, Dad.