Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
Frodo's Headshots (2011)
Jon Cryer: Alan Harper
Photos
Quotes
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Walden Schmidt : I'm sorry you had to find out this way.
Alan Harper : Oh, really? Really? How would you have liked me to hear it? Twitter? Facebook? A singing telegram?
[sings]
Alan Harper : Ta-ra-ra boom dee yay! I banged your girl today! 'Cause I'm a billionaire, I still have all my hair!
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Alan Harper : [after Berta laughing out loud] What's funny?
Berta : From where you're standing? Nothing.
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Jake Harper : I'm gonna take Walden's car over to Megan's and see if it helps me to slide into 'home'.
Alan Harper : Wear protection!
Jake Harper : I'm wearing it now!
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Alan Harper : [screaming] Hey, hey! I'm still here! I mean, how... how could you do this? How could you have an affair while I'm locked in the booby hatch!
Berta : I thought it was a stress clinic?
Alan Harper : [screaming even louder] Everybody knows what it was! I lost my freaking mind! But, luckily, now I'm better! So I have the tools to cope with whatever life throws at me!
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Jake Harper : [Jake is driving Alan home from what Alan refers to as the 'stress clinic', and everyone else calls 'the nuthouse'] Hey, is it too soon to talk to you about something important?
Alan Harper : You can talk to me about anything. I have the tools to cope.
Jake Harper : Cool. Remember Megan?... Well, we've been going out for awhile now and all of a sudden she's saying she wants to see other people. But, I wanna keep it, you know, monotonous.