The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings (2011 Video Game)

Jacek Rozenek: Geralt of Rivia

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Quotes 

• [a dragon is attacking La Valette Castle] 

  King Foltest : I'd give a leg for a heavy crossbow right now.

  Triss Merigold : It's a dragon! I can't believe it!

  King Foltest : Merigold, stop admiring it and do something!

  Triss Merigold : It's not that simple!

  King Foltest : Before the brute turns my army to cinders!

  Vernon Roche : [to Geralt]  Witcher, how do you fight something like that?

  Geralt of Rivia : You don't! You run!

  Vernon Roche : [sarcastic]  Some professional you are...

• Geralt of Rivia : You shouldn't let them see you.

  Iorveth : I know. To them, a dead elf is a good elf.

  Geralt of Rivia : It's not because you're an elf, it's because you're Iorveth.

• Iorveth : You're the most noble human I know, Gwynnbleid.

  Geralt of Rivia : I'm no human.

  Iorveth : I'm glad you reminded me. My hatred for the species abated for a moment.

• Geralt of Rivia : Maybe I'll come back when you're sober.

  Cedric : You witchers live a long life. You may indeed live to see the day.

• Zoltan Chivay : Sit down, Geralt, you old goat! Drinking alone is as bad as shitting in company.

  Geralt of Rivia : Another time, maybe. You've been here for a while and probably know the local customs.

  Zoltan Chivay : I'm no researcher, but go on, ask away.

  Geralt of Rivia : Who would need a troll's head?

  Zoltan Chivay : Same folks who need a bear's head- to hang on the wall, show how plucky they are. A peasant with a troll's head on his wall may raise many skirts.

• Geralt of Rivia : [handing Dandelion a book]  I found a volume of your poetry.

  Dandelion : My love poems! Some bastard stole them recently. Probably wanted to show off to a young lass smelling of sheepskins. I really missed this book. It was like being in a brothel with no balls. I owe you one, Geralt, though I don't know quite how I'll repay you. No... Actually, I do know. Up for a shot on vodka? It's on me.

  Geralt of Rivia : I've got a better idea.

  Dandelion : Beer? That's fine. All the same to me.

  Geralt of Rivia : I need you to do me a favor.

  Dandelion : Name it. For this, I'd give you my chastity. If I still had it, of course.

  Geralt of Rivia : I wouldn't be interested.

  Dandelion : Don't tell me you need another poem for a noonwraith.

  Geralt of Rivia : Worse.

  Dandelion : Please, Geralt... Don't get me involved in another messy monster matter. I'm an artist, not...

  Geralt of Rivia : That's precisely who I need to lure a succubus.

  Dandelion : Are you crazy? You want to see a hoofed hag ride me to death?

  [Geralt gives him a threatening look] 

  Dandelion : On the other hand... we all have to die of something.

• Geralt of Rivia : Let's get out of here, Vernon.

  Vernon Roche : Have you lost your mind?

  Geralt of Rivia : [of Henselt]  You wanted to kill a king, not a cockroach.

• Dandelion : Can we go? I can't wait to meet his monstrous beauty.

  Geralt of Rivia : Her beauty's killed several men.

  Dandelion : [angry]  Now you tell me?

• Geralt of Rivia : [to Cecil Burdon]  Imagine your ancestors, carved in stone. Condemnation, not pride on their bearded faces.

• Geralt of Rivia : We have to get past the gate.

  Iorveth : Piece of lembas.

• [Geralt has carried the drunk Odrin back towards the Kaedweni camp] 

  Kaedweni Soldier : Halt! What's that corpse you want to darg into the camp?

  Geralt of Rivia : [embarrassed]  Private Odrin, he's... uh, uh... sick.

  Kaedweni Soldier : Looks like he slept in a vat full of booze. And smells like he fell out of a dwarf's arsehole.

• Letho of Gulet : I have to kill you.

  Geralt of Rivia : Try it. But I'm no king.

• Triss Merigold : [looking at the aftermath of Geralt's attack at the Nilfgaardian camp]  Those Nilfgaardians... that's your work?

  Geralt of Rivia : They followed their leader too blindly.

  Triss Merigold : You killed them all?

  Geralt of Rivia : They didn't slaughter themselves.

• Geralt of Rivia : The murderer outsmarted you, so I'm to rot in this dungeon.

  Vernon Roche : Oh, no danger of you rotting. You'll hang.

  Geralt of Rivia : Convince them otherwise.

  Vernon Roche : I have no influence over the court.

  Geralt of Rivia : Foltest told me a lot about you.

  Vernon Roche : If not for him, I'd be a drunk or a vagrant. Foltest did more for me than my father ever did. But then my father did exactly nothing, for I never even met him.

• Geralt of Rivia : [of Letho]  Why do you trust him? Because he's a dh'oine who agreed to do shady work for you?

  Iorveth : He did what had to be done. He proved nobody's untouchable.

• Geralt of Rivia : Since when do the Scoia'tael hire professional killers to do their dirty work? A dh'oine, even. You've fallen low...

  Iorveth : A hired killer, true. But in all certainty, he's no dh'oine.

  Geralt of Rivia : Don't make a big deal of the race thing...

  Iorveth : Yet race is the very reason we fight! We have pointed ears, yours are rounded. We are few, yet long-lived, your kind multiplies like vermin, though thankfully expires quickly...

• Philippa Eilhart : We wish to rule, yes. Where is the fault in that? Everyone wants to rule. I know how to do that. Better than any other monarch in this city.

  Geralt of Rivia : You can't hope to win the common folks' trust. Humans will never accept a sorceress queen.

  Iorveth : Non-humans won't either, given what that old hag, Findabair, has achieved.

  Philippa Eilhart : They all believe in Saskia. They all trust her. The girl is a born leader, yet she has no political instincts. She's charismatic, but not cunning, courageous, but not fierce, she is just but lacks the required cruelty...

  Iorveth : She is your very opposite.

  Philippa Eilhart : Perhaps... Together we would be unstoppable...

• Geralt of Rivia : We're taking the child to the Temerian camp. Where she belongs.

  Siegfried of Denesle : Radovid's orders are clear.

  Geralt of Rivia : What if ask you to forget those orders. Bearing in mind... our past?

  Siegfried of Denesle : [after meditation]  I didn't see you...

  Geralt of Rivia : Because we were never here.

• Zoltan Chivay : Geralt? I thought it was Henselt's mob that got through the tunnels.

  Geralt of Rivia : They tried.

  Zoltan Chivay : Glad you knocked it out of their heads. So glad to see you! Where's Dandelion?

  Geralt of Rivia : Headed west. To Oxenfurt.

  Zoltan Chivay : Who'd he ploughin' cross this time?

• Geralt of Rivia : Were you in Rivia when I got caught on that pitchfork?

  Yarpen Zigrin : Was I... fuck, Wolf, I saw you die! I didn't see the little bastard who took you for a haystack, but I swear, it looked like you weren't going to make it. So I'm well glad you managed to lick your wounds.

  Geralt of Rivia : I don't know if it taught me anything.

  Yarpen Zigrin : Come on, it had to. Not many have survived their own death.

• Geralt of Rivia : Zoltan claims you can arm wrestle like no one else.

  Yarpen Zigrin : He's right! Did he tell you I beat him?

  Geralt of Rivia : Omitted that bit, somehow.

• Geralt of Rivia : Consider Skalen humbled.

  Yarpen Zigrin : Always told the old fart he was shite.

• Geralt of Rivia : You're vile, Loredo. I hope you and Iorveth face each other some day, and may the best rat win.

• Mary Louisa La Valette : In better times, the King spoke to me of you. You must look me in the eyes when you answer: did you slay Foltest?

  Geralt of Rivia : No.

  Mary Louisa La Valette : Hmm. I suppose I must believe you. You should be glad. I'd have to gouge out those devil's eyes otherwise.

  Geralt of Rivia : I am glad, Milady. I like my eyes.

  Mary Louisa La Valette : Where are my children?

  Geralt of Rivia : Forgive me, but I just escaped myself, and can't count myself among the well-informed.

• Geralt of Rivia : [of Foltest]  He laughed at pleasantries, envied those better than him. Feared those stronger, despised the weaker and killed those he hated. Those he loved, he presented them with ballistae. He was a man like any other, except he was born to be king.

  Mary Louisa La Valette : True. He was a boor in a crown.

  Shilard Fitz-Oesterlen : [embarrassed]  My lady...

  Mary Louisa La Valette : And that was the first and last honest epitaph he'll get. Once the poets start in, nothing will remain of the real Foltest.

• Aryan La Valette : My nanny told me stories about you and I couldn't sleep. I especially liked the one about Renfri and her rogues. As I grew, I dreamed of facing you one day.

  Geralt of Rivia : That dream will not have a happy ending. For you.

• Síle de Tansarville : Letho is the king of liars and emperor of traitors! From the start he worked for the glory of the Great Sun and the White Flame Dancing on the Graves of his Foes. He lied to everyone. Me, Iorveth, your stupid little Triss... And you.

  Geralt of Rivia : Got any evidence?

  Síle de Tansarville : A moment ago I received a message from the Lodge's agent in Cintra. The Imperial Army is on the move. They're fording the Yaruga now. Do you think the North can defend itself in the current situation? Can you count on another miracle at Brenna?

  Geralt of Rivia : I don't know... but you made it all possible and you'll answer for that. The stigma of treason is yours- for all time.

  Síle de Tansarville : We shall see, for no one will leave this city alive. No one will tell this story. Philippa controls the dragon. As soon as I disappear, it will turn the city into a flaming tomb.

• Geralt of Rivia : Care to tell me what it was all about?

  Letho of Gulet : Hm. Kill as many rulers as we could. Lay the blame on the sorceresses. Breed chaos. Prepare the North, soften it before the invasion. And you know what's incredible? We could not have imagined more fertile soil. No matter what the war's outcome, the Northern monarchs'll accuse one another, pursue their god-given rights, seek vengeance and be at each other's throats for years to come. The North resembles a whorehouse on fire, as your friend Dandelion would say.

• Geralt of Rivia : I taught Skalen a lesson.

  Sheldon Skaggs : D'you beat him?

  Geralt of Rivia : Heard his joints crack.

• Silgrat of Gulet : You won... finish me off.

  Geralt of Rivia : I'm no murderer. Besides, it was only a fistfight.

  Silgrat of Gulet : I'd rather have died at your hands.

  Geralt of Rivia : It was an honest fight, just like you wanted.

  Silgrat of Gulet : You fail to understand. My reputation is ruined, my honor gone.

  Geralt of Rivia : I thrashed you and won a pile of coin. Not sure I care about your reputation.

  Silgrat of Gulet : We'll meet again... Silgrat forgets no insult.

• Letho of Gulet : Why do you hound me?

  Geralt of Rivia : They think I killed Foltest!

  Letho of Gulet : It's your own fault for playing soldier boy.

• Geralt of Rivia : Are murder and rapes royal virtues of the new order, too?

  King Henselt : Every wench dreams of being ploughed by a king.

  Vernon Roche : And Ves?

  King Henselt : Did she complain to you? I thought she liked it. She squeaked like an un-oiled hinge...

• Geralt of Rivia : I see you took care of the guards.

  Iorveth : I hate those monastic curs.

  Geralt of Rivia : They're not paragons of virtue, true, but they were just doing their job.

  Iorveth : Then they didn't do it well enough.

• Siegfried of Denesle : Radovid has great plans. And few or no scruples.

  Geralt of Rivia : A true monarch.

  Siegfried of Denesle : Other kings are priestesses of Melitele compared to him.

• Geralt of Rivia : [of the blind Philippa]  It was Radovid's way of thanking her for the care she provided him when he was a child.

• Cedric : [mortally wounded]  I knew I was dying. The forest called me.

  Geralt of Rivia : Why, Cedric? Why did you get involved?

  Cedric : Why did you? Sometimes we must... Have I told you about my visions? That's why I drink. It helps. I'm safe in a mist of vodka... see nothing, feel nothing...

• [animals of the forest reunite near Cedric] 

  Geralt of Rivia : They come to bid you farewell.

  Cedric : [dying words]  My forest... Va fail, Gwynbleidd. Farewell.

• Cecil Burdon : According to Henselt, Upper Aedirn is the ancient legacy of the Kaedweni crown and must be returned to the mother country. Brazen farter!

  Geralt of Rivia : That brazen farter had a point. If you read some history, you'll know that three hundred years ago this land belonged to Kaedwen.

  Cecil Burdon : Load of crap! Seven hundred years ago the elves reigned here! And a million years ago these lands were the domain of the worms! If things worked that way, every king could invade a neighboring land and claim his right to do so because an ancestor took a dump there!

• Sheldon Skaggs : [after losing to Geralt at arm wrestling]  Sure there's no dwarven blood in your family?

  Geralt of Rivia : I'll tell you when I get my memory back.

• [Geralt is on the gallows, trying to prevent Loredo from hanging Zoltan and Dandelion] 

  Geralt of Rivia : [of Dandelion]  What's he accused of?

  Bernard Loredo : He burned down a watchtower.

  Bernard Loredo : [looking down the gallows for Vernon Roche]  What's your jurisdiction say to that?

  [Roche says nothing] 

  Bernard Loredo : I thought so.

  Geralt of Rivia : [to Dandelion]  Is that true?

  Dandelion : It might've looked that way... but I swear it wasn't my fault!

  Bernard Loredo : [to Geralt]  I'd rather give you a thief.

  [pauses] 

  Bernard Loredo : Relax, I'm joking.

  [pulls the lever that releases the trap-door, hanging an elf to death] 

  Bernard Loredo : I hate thieves.

• [Geralt has escaped from his cell] 

  Executioner : [attacking Geralt]  You're early. Appointment's not 'till tomorrow.

  Geralt of Rivia : So? I'm in a hurry. You'll see me today.

• Geralt of Rivia : [to Shilard, having freed Baroness La Valette from her torturers]  Your Excellency. Here to oversee the interrogation?

  Shilard Fitz-Oesterlen : I have come to assist the Baroness La Valette, former mistress of his castle. But I see she has found a champion already.

• Síle de Tansarville : I wonder, are the stories about you true?

  Geralt of Rivia : They couldn't be more true. Especially the ones that are made up.

• Geralt of Rivia : Is that bauble from Síle's megascope?

  Letho of Gulet : Mhm. My final prank... I switched the diamonds. The one in the megascope has a flaw- minute, but just large enough to warp the teleport. The Emperor's magic theorists assured me the effect would be spectacular.

  Geralt of Rivia : I let her escape.

  Letho of Gulet : You're heartless. You have no idea what the royal witch-hunters have in store for her. A lot of pain for a long time...

• Geralt of Rivia : I need royal blood.

  Prince Stennis : As you know, I've yet to be crowned.

  Geralt of Rivia : But blood of your royal ancestors flow through your veins.

  Prince Stennis : True, but that doesn't mean I'll shed a drop for some vagabond. Are you a witcher or a vampire?

  Geralt of Rivia : I need it to save Saskia.

  Prince Stennis : I need it to live.

• Seltkirk of Gulet : The Visitor! I've long awaited this meeting.

  Geralt of Rivia : Leave, ghost.

  Seltkirk of Gulet : I'll not give up an opportunity to duel Vandergrift.

  Geralt of Rivia : He will kill you.

  Seltkirk of Gulet : Seltkirk does not fear death.

  Geralt of Rivia : When you die, your soldiers will die every day afterwards. Forever... Leave! This is a task for a witcher, not a knight.

  Seltkirk of Gulet : I do this solely for my men.

  [leaves] 

• Geralt of Rivia : Who are you?

  General Vandergrift : Hah! Your nightmare!

• Geralt of Rivia : I'm a witcher, I rarely theorize. Killing monsters is purely practical.

• Iorveth : Only now do I trust you!

  Geralt of Rivia : Don't be gullible, elf.

• Geralt of Rivia : I met another Scoia'tael leader.

  Iorveth : Yaevinn. I knew him. He had beautiful dreams and desperately wanted me to share them. Asked the same of you, I heard.

  Geralt of Rivia : You know a lot about me.

  Iorveth : I try to know as much as I can - about everyone.

  Geralt of Rivia : I helped him - I found his reasons just.

  Iorveth : Because they are. But they're equally unrealistic. Yaevinn saw combat and killing as poetry. Whereas war is prose, with no place for beauty.

• Geralt of Rivia : [after giving instructions to Dethmold]  Last of all: give Henselt an instructional talk, explain that I'll need him.

  Dethmold : And what will you be doing? Drinking ale and fondling the camp women?

  Geralt of Rivia : There's that, yes, though I'll also prepare to summon Sabrina's ghost and figure out what I need to send the fighting specters back to the afterlife.

• Geralt of Rivia : [asked by Ves to describe her]  She's ambitious... Honorable... And beautiful?

  Ves : In that order?

  Geralt of Rivia : What if I say the reverse?

  Ves : If you think I don't like to hear compliments about my beauty, you're very wrong. I'm a soldier and it pisses me off when I'm viewed as a pair of tits atop of an ass. But I'm also a woman and, like very woman, I have my needs...

  Geralt of Rivia : In that case, let's drink to your needs.

  Ves : I fullfill my needs differently.

  Geralt of Rivia : Then what do you want to drink to?

  Ves : To us.

  Geralt of Rivia : I didn't know there was an us.

  Ves : Better to live a day as a king than a life as a beggar. First, we'll drink the wine, then we'll go to bed.

• Geralt of Rivia : Listen, Odrin, you're so drunk a single spark and you'd be a torch.

• Geralt of Rivia : [to the drunk Odrin]  Odrin, stop fucking around and get up!

• Geralt of Rivia : [asked about Henselt's death before the Loc Muinne deliberations]  I wasn't there.

  Radovid V The Stern : The first lie of the day and the negotiations have yet to begin.

• Geralt of Rivia : Why the hell make sacrifices, have rules and morality, if pure untainted whoredom always triumphs in the end?

• Iorveth : [to Geralt]  Only now I trust you!

  Geralt of Rivia : Don't be gullible, elf.