- Ryan Newman: Behold... The instrument of Drew's destruction. Bzzmm... My ping pong paddle from when I was all state table tennis champion.
- Wilfred: So, chemistry, biking and ping pong. I guess my only question is, why were you not blowjobbed to death by the entire cheerleading squad?
- Ryan Newman: What's the one thing Jenna hates most about Drew?
- Wilfred: Vaginal tearing from his huge cock.
- Ryan Newman: He's a sore loser. Look, all I have to do is beat him at something, and make sure Jenna's there to see him lose his shit.
- Wilfred: That's the stupidest, most ridiculous... Actually, that's pretty good. But there's one problem. Drew's a born winner, and you're... you.