House M.D. (TV Series)

A Pox on Our House (2010)

Amber Tamblyn: Martha M. Masters

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Quotes 

• Dr. Gregory House : It's kind of hard to do an autopsy in oven mitts.

  Martha Masters : Take them off

  Dr. Gregory House : Says the woman standing behind two panes of glass

  Martha Masters : Do you believe me? Forget me. Do you believe you? You think it's rickettsialpox, don't you? If it is, it's curable, and she's gonna die unless we can prove it.

  Dr. Gregory House : You really are annoying.

• Julie : [When the doctors discover that Julie might have smallpox]  Am I gonna die? I mean, this is what terrorists want to use to kill everyone, right? Like, there's no cure.

  Dr. Chris Taub : There are treatments. We can give you cidofovir.

  Dr. Gregory House : I don't think you care about the drugs' names. Bottom line, it's 30% fatal which means your chances of being okay are about the same as a basketball player's chance at hitting a free throw unless she finds dark, purplish skin.

  Lulu : What would purple blotches mean?

  Martha Masters : Hemorrhagic-type smallpox.

  Dr. Gregory House : In which case, her chances are more like Shaq hitting a free throw.

• Dr. Gregory House : Sixteen-year-old girl. High fever, vomiting, bloodshot eyes...

  Dr. Chris Taub : Wow. The case of the really bad flu.

  Dr. Gregory House : Hmm, let me see. Did I leave anything out? Oh, yeah. The smallpox.

  Martha Masters : Smallpox was eradicated over 30 years ago.

  Dr. Gregory House : So were Hush Puppies. Have you checked out your local hipster coffee shop lately?

• Martha Masters : The vaccine will protect you if you don't have it and lessen the severity if you already do, b-but it's a billion-to-one, so we don't want you to panic or anything

  Lulu : How do I not panic with that information?

• Dr. Gregory House : Would you ever be extra nice to a theoretical boyfriend if you were really mad at him?

  Martha Masters : I guess the only reason I would be extra nice is because I'm angry, and I just want him to go away so I don't have to deal with him anymore.

  Dr. Gregory House : [thinking about Cuddy]  You passive-aggressive bitch!

  Martha Masters : You just asked me...

• Martha Masters : Would it kill us to talk it through?

  Dr. Eric Foreman : Kill us? No. Save House? Also no.

• Martha Masters : Scrofula. That's what they called cervical T.B. lymphadenitis in the 1700s.

  Dr. Gregory House : Scrofulicious. That's what they called "annoying" in the 1700s.

• Martha Masters : So we just give up and go home?

  Dr. Eric Foreman : Actually, somebody locked the front door, but, yeah, we... give up.

• Martha Masters : [to House]  Julie doesn't have smallpox.

  Dr. Gregory House : Did I just dream the part where I finally agreed it was smallpox? Well, if what I thought was reality was actually a dream, then the reverse... oh, my God. I had a threesome with Beyonce and Lady Gaga.

• Martha Masters : You don't trust me.

  Dr. Gregory House : Going behind your back works better when you're not facing us.