- Sam Puckett: That's some good looking junk.
- Carly Shay: And it's all available for sale!
- Gibby Gibson: Yaaaaaaar!
- Sam Puckett: I told you not to do the pirate voice part.
- Gibby Gibson: [Sadly] Yar.
- Carly Shay: So what items are there for sale, Sam?
- Sam Puckett: Well, Carls, right there I see Spencer's fan of hammers.
- Carly Shay: Aw, who could forget the time Spencer almost impaled my head with a flying hammer?
- Sam Puckett: Dangerous times.
- Sam Puckett: You remember these techfoots?
- Carly Shay: Who woudn't be proud to wear these defective sneakers to school? The zoo!
- Sam Puckett: ...or the funeral of the loved one.
- Freddie Benson: iCarly is not responsible for damage caused to your feet, toes or the central nervous system.
- Gibby Gibson: [Eating spaghetti] Wow... umm. I'm in love with this sauce. What is it?
- Sam Puckett: It could be a lovely cheese sauce.
- Carly Shay: But, it's snot.
- Freddie Benson: [picks up a knife] Control, Freddie. Bad thoughts lead to bad actions.
- [puts down knife]
- Carly Shay: Okay, we're going shoplifting!
- Spencer Shay: [From his room] Wear a jacket!
- Sam Puckett: [Excited] Are we really gonna go shoplifting?
- Carly Shay: NO!