- Daphne Blake: Velma, here's the only thing you ever need to know about boys. They are stupid. If you give a boy two choices, a smart one and a stupid one, he will always make the stupid one every time. That's why you never give them a choice.
- Velma Dinkley: That's depressing.
- Daphne Blake: Yes, it is.
- Velma Dinkley: [sarcastically] How are you doing, hero?
- Shaggy Rogers: Like, I've been better.
- [long silence]
- Shaggy Rogers: Oh, you don't actually care, do you?
- Velma Dinkley: [groans]
- Daphne Blake: Why have you been sneaking out?
- Nan Blake: I didn't want to say anything, but I've been taking night classes. I'm getting my public notary degree!
- Velma Dinkley: Oh, how exciting!
- Shaggy Rogers: What an opportunity!
- Nan Blake: You know, I may be outrageously gorgeous, but knowledge; knowledge is the key to true beauty. Well, I better get going. I have to figure out what a notary is before tomorrow's final exam.
- Daphne Blake: Ew! Smells like that stuff you put on plants to help them grow!
- Velma Dinkley: You mean poo?
- Daphne Blake: Yeah, that's exactly what it smells like.
- Sheila Altoonian: My looks are starting to fade.
- Shaggy Rogers: No - you're gorgeous!
- Fred Jones: Your skin is as tight as my ascot.
- Sheila Altoonian: [to Daphne] This is all your mother's fault. We're the same age, but she's so beautiful. She has the skin of a teenager. That's when I realized she must be a vampire. I went to the Dinkley Shop to do a little research and found the recipe for the youth juice. That potion was gonna make me young and beautiful forever. You see, in college I majored in zoology and acrobatics, studying the habits of flying squirrels. I propelled myself into the air with my quad and glute muscles. All this gave me the illusion of a real flying Vampire.
- Daphne Blake: Why didn't you just try maybe wearing a little less makeup? Or a cuter haircut? Or use tape to pull back all your wrinkly sacks of...
- [grabs her cheeks dramatically]
- Daphne Blake: You know, age gracefully.