Despicable Me 2 (2013)
Kristen Wiig: Lucy
Photos
Quotes
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Lucy : [calmly] Don't worry about me, Gru! I'll be fine. I have survived lots worse than this...
[frantically]
Lucy : Okay, that's not entirely true, I'm actually kind of freaking out up here!
Gru : Don't worry, I will get you out of this!
[They both freeze when they see Pollito approach the remote control. They both gasp. Pollito narrows his eyes, then pecks the remote button]
Gru : [morosely] I *really* hate that chicken.
[the rocket launches]
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Lucy : [to herself] I choose Gru.
[to the stewardess]
Lucy : I choose Gru!
[runs to the plane's emergency hatch and opens it]
Lucy : Thank you, Gru-stewardess!
Flight Attendant : You're welcome!
[Lucy jumps out of the plane and presses the clasp of her purse, which turns into a hang glider, parasailing off in search of Gru]
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Lucy : Mr Gru?
Gru : [stammering] Wha... I didn't... Wha... yes?
Lucy : [takes off her sunglasses] Hi. Agent Lucy Wilde of the AVL.
[shows her AVL credentials; noticing she shows her ID-card upside-down]
Lucy : Oops.
[giggles, then clears her throat]
Lucy : [seriously] Sorry. You're gonna have to come with me.
Gru : Oh, sorry, I...
[takes his freeze ray out of his polo and fires it]
Gru : Freeze Ray!
[At the same moment, Lucy pulls out a retractable flamethrower, blocking the ray of ice]
Lucy : [puts her flamethrower back in and gently pulls a lipstick-like weapon out of her purse] You know, you really should announce your weapons *after* you fire them, Mr. Gru. For example...
[fires the weapon at Gru, making him drop his freeze ray and flail though some weird movements before finally passing out]
Lucy : [sing-song voice] Lipstick taser!
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Lucy : What is wrong with that chicken? Hey, that pollo es loco.
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Gru : [after meeting Eduardo] That guy looks exactly like a villain named El Macho... from about 20 years ago. He was ruthless! He was dangerous. And as the name implies, very macho. He had a reputation for pulling off heists using only his bare hands! Ah, but sadly, like all the greats, El Macho was gone too soon. He died in the most macho way possible: riding a shark with 250 pounds of dynamite strapped to his chest into the mouth in an active volcano! It was glorious.
Lucy : Yeah, sounds like El Macho's pretty dead.
Gru : They never found the body. Oh, no. All that was ever retrieved was a pile of singed chest hair. But that face! It has got to be El Macho.
Lucy : Then what do you say you and I break into his restaurant tonight?
Gru : Yes, that's good, 'cause I'm telling you, if anybody in this place has the PX-41 serum...
[pointing to Eduardo on an escalator outside]
Gru : ...it's him.
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Lucy : [about being relocated to Australia] I've even been working on my accent. Wallaby. Didgeridoo. Hugh Jackman.
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Lucy : I wasn't expecting that. Or was I?
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Gru : Why are you here?
Lucy : On assignment from Silas. I'm your new partner. Yay!
Gru : What? No. No "yay". Ramsbottom didn't say anything about a partner.
Lucy : Well, seems that because of your checkered past, everyone else refused to work with you. But not me. I stepped up. And I'm new, so I kind of have to do what they tell me anyway.
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Gru : What are you doing?
Lucy : I'm checking for laser beam alarm triggers.
Gru : It's a restaurant!
Lucy : You never know what kind of booby traps this guy could have set. Huh? Come on.
Gru : There are no booby traps.
[he activates a tripwire, and the bell to which it's attached rings]
Lucy : Ha! Booby!
[a door opens, and a chicken pokes its head around the corner]
Lucy : Oh. There's a chicken. Are you lost, little guy? You must be lost.
Gru : [lauging derisively] Some guard dog.
[the chicken attacks him]
Gru : Whoo-hoo-hoo! Oh, no, no, no! Get it off of me! Get it off of me! Get it off of me!
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Lucy : [rescuing Gru from a bad blind date] Well, I think you did it. You just officially had the worst date ever.
Gru : Oh, tell me about it.
Lucy : [chuckling] Don't worry. It can only get better from here, right? But if it doesn't, you can always borrow my dart gun. Had to use it on one or two dates myself.
Gru : Yeah, you know, as far as dates go, I think I'm good with just the one.
Lucy : [standing to leave] Well, good night, partner. This was fun.
Gru : Yes. Surprisingly, it was.
Lucy : Oh, and uh, just between you and me? You look much better bald.
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Eduardo : [comes inside the shop] Hello?
[Gru and Lucy force themselves to act natural]
Eduardo : Buenos dias, my friends! I am Eduardo Perez, owner of Salsa y Salsa restaurant, across the mall. Now open for breakfast. And you are?
Gru : Gru. And this is Lucy. And we are closed.
Eduardo : This is just gonna take un momento. I am throwing a big Cinco de Mayo party, and I am going to need two hundred of your best cupcakes decorated with the Mexican flag. It looks something like this.
[rips his shirt open, revealing a giant tattoo of the Mexican flag on his chest]
Eduardo : What do you think?
[flexes and makes his chest wave]
Gru : [hides his eyes; disgusted] Look away!
Lucy : [stares at Eduardo] You-Whoa... Hooo...
Eduardo : Anyway, I have to go. It's all settled! I pick 'em up next week! Have a good day. Come by if you get a chance, okay?
-
[Gru arrives at Eagle Hair Club]
Gru : [contacting Lucy] Alright, I'm going in.
Lucy : [informs him at Bake My Day by monitor as he activates a chem-tracking device shaped like a belt; through headphones] If it picks up any traces of the serum, the center of your belt buckle
[aloud]
Lucy : will make a sound like this: Mee-Mo-Mee-Mo-Mee-Mo!
Gru : [cuts off Lucy; annoyed] Okay! I get it! I get it!
[fumbles with the automatic door, then enters Eagle Hair Club]
Floyd Eagle-san : [chuckles] Welcome to Eagle Hair Club.
[turns his eagle-like chair, revealing himself holding and stroking a toupee]
Floyd Eagle-san : It's about time you showed up... Mr. Gru.
[the bald eagle perched next to him squawks]
Gru : You... know my name?
Floyd Eagle-san : [chuckles] When someone moves into the mall who is follically challenged, I make it my business to know all about them. You are bald. And that is bad.
[strokes the toupee he's holding, kisses it, then puts it on a mannequin head]
Floyd Eagle-san : There you go, my sweet.
[at Bake My Day]
Lucy : [monitoring Gru's chem-tracking device] I'm getting nothing so far. I think you need to look around.
[at Eagle Hair Club, after listening to Lucy in the headphones; Gru walks away, smiling nervously, and starts looking around the mall, but none of the mannequin heads give a signal]
Gru : [starts thrusting his hips once noticing a painting] Wow, this looks interesting. What is it?
Floyd Eagle-san : [suspiciously] I take it you're an art lover?
Lucy : [in headphones] No serum.
Gru : Yeah, not so much.
[walks over to a podium holding a trophy and starts thrusting his hips at it]
Gru : Oh, how about this impressive trinket?
Floyd Eagle-san : [gasps] I hardly call it trinket, Mr. Gru.
Lucy : [in headphones] Nothing.
Floyd Eagle-san : The International...
Gru : Yeah, I don't care.
[moves over to a shelf filled with wig samples and starts straddling it]
Lucy : [in headphones, startling Gru] Mee-Mo-Mee-Mo-Mee-Mo! Hold on, I'm picking up something. Behind that wall!
Gru : Ahh... and what do we have here?
Floyd Eagle-san : [grabs a sample] These are my trial wigs.
[hands Gru a bag with a wig in it]
Floyd Eagle-san : You should take one.
Gru : No thanks.
[sticks his head into the shelf]
Gru : So what's on the other side of the wall?
Floyd Eagle-san : There you are! Look at me! Focus!
Lucy : [in headphones] Gru?
Floyd Eagle-san : I promise, that this wig will transform you from ugly to irresistible.
