- Douglas Reynholm: Hey, why don't you take your clothes off?
- Journalist: What?
- Douglas Reynholm: Come on, we both knew it was on the cards as soon as I realised you were a woman.
- Journalist: What if someone were to walk in?
- Douglas Reynholm: I left strict instructions not to be disturbed in case we had sex.
- Jen Barber: [Douglas is discussing divorcing his wife] Have you told her yet?
- Douglas Reynholm: Kind of. I changed my Friendface profile from "married" to "it's complicated".
- Maurice Moss: When I was 11 I broke the patio window and my mum sued me.
- Jen Barber: She sued you?
- Maurice Moss: Yeah, to teach me a lesson. She's always been an aggressive litigator.
- Douglas Reynholm: Anyway, I want to divorce her. Right now. Now's too late. Before now. In fact I want to have already divorced her. Is that possible?
- Douglas Reynholm: Can you state your full name, please.
- Richmond: Richmond Felicity Avenal.
- Douglas Reynholm: And you worked at Reyholm Industries for a time?
- Richmond: I did, for over four years.
- Douglas Reynholm: And what did you do?
- Richmond: I don't know.
- Douglas Reynholm: Why did you leave?
- Richmond: Well my life wasn't really going anywhere. I was part of the whole goth death metal subculture but it wasn't making me happy. It was all a bit gloomy.
- Richmond: Where are you going? Is it to the top? If not, why not? Go to the bloody top! Is it because you're a goth? Did you know that goths have some of the lowest life satisfaction levels of any subculture with the exception of traffic wardens? That's why you don't see any goth traffic wardens. That would be a deadly combination! We at Goth2Boss work with goths at various locations around the UK to bring out their hidden potential by encouraging them to engage in everyday, healthy pursuits such as sports. Mixing with other humans. Extended laughter sessions. Introducing colour to your wardrobe. Just look at these results. This is Debbie. She used to hang around railway stations with her hands in her sleeves. Now she's a lifeguard in Mumbai! From Goth2Boss, you know it makes sense. Unless you're not a goth, in which case, from Goth2Boss. Remember the name.