- Parker Wald: I don't remember you.
- Lt. Henry Kent: Really? We had Biology together, and I asked you to prom, twice.
- Parker Wald: [gasps] Really?
- Lt. Henry Kent: I'm kidding. I was two years older and spent most of high school tripping over my ears.
- Lt. Henry Kent: [looks at Abigail, who nods]
- Abigail Scanlon: [sweetly] Oh Miss Olivia, if you had wings you should be an angel...
- Abigail Scanlon: [losing the pretense] or nasty-ass dragon...
- Lt. Henry Kent: [having slowly come up behind Abigail and Parker] Close your mouths. Rachel an old friend of yours? So I take it you haven't seen her for a while? So yeah, that's the Tony that Rachel used to go out with... although we can't officially acknowledge that ever happened... so this is me, not acknowledging...
- Abigail Scanlon: [turning to look at him] You're Henry Kent... you had big ears and a slutty sister.
- Lt. Henry Kent: I... grew into my ears, and I'll tell Carole you said "hi".
- Parker Wald: Why do all of your plans have me sleeping with someone? Is this how you see me?
- Abigail Scanlon: A little bit.
- Parker Wald: And you still live in Lambert?
- Lt. Henry Kent: ...I still live in Lambert...
- Parker Wald: I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that...
- Lt. Henry Kent: Yes you did.
- Abigail Scanlon: Yes you did. Let's go find Rachel.
- Abigail Scanlon: I don't know why you think this acting thing is so hard.
- Parker Wald: Try getting paid for it!
- Parker Wald: Now, what are we gonna do about Rachel?
- Abigail Scanlon: I say we go 'full-force swat team' and break up Caitlyn and Tony.
- Parker Wald: Ok, no more wine for you.
- Abigail Scanlon: Olivia has me so carb-starved, if you put your hand on a kaiser roll I'd eat it in three bites...
- Abigail Scanlon: [imitates biting]