- Bobby Leach: So then I decided to go on a tour of the world displaying my Niagara Falls barrel to the paying crowd. I ended up in New Zealand, and that's where I died.
- Grim Reaper: Hmm. By swimming... over a waterfall... *blindfolded*?
- Bobby Leach: No, no. I slipped on an orange peel, broke my leg and died of gangrene.
- Grim Reaper: [laughs] By slipping on an orange peel? You *lemon*!
- Winston Churchill: So General, if we are to defend Britain against a German invasion, then every man in the Home Guard must be armed.
- General: But Sir, the regular army need all our guns.
- Winston Churchill: All the same, every man in the Home Guard must be armed with some kind of weapon. Even if it be an ancient one, like a pike.
- General: Yes Sir. Very good, Sir.
- [Leaves and returns with a pike]
- General: There we are, Sir. I've had 250,000 pikes made.
- Winston Churchill: You've... done what? General, I said a weapon *like* a pike! I didn't literally mean a pike - pike was just an example!
- General: Ah.
- Winston Churchill: Honestly! If I told you to go and jump off a cliff...
- [the General gets up and leaves]
- Winston Churchill: ... would you?
- [Notices that the General has left]
- Winston Churchill: He's gone to jump off a cliff.