Horrible Histories (TV Series)

Episode #2.1 (2010)

Jim Howick: Various

Quotes 

• Bobby Leach : So then I decided to go on a tour of the world displaying my Niagara Falls barrel to the paying crowd. I ended up in New Zealand, and that's where I died.

  Grim Reaper : Hmm. By swimming... over a waterfall... *blindfolded*?

  Bobby Leach : No, no. I slipped on an orange peel, broke my leg and died of gangrene.

  Grim Reaper : [laughs]  By slipping on an orange peel? You *lemon*!

• Winston Churchill : So General, if we are to defend Britain against a German invasion, then every man in the Home Guard must be armed.

  General : But Sir, the regular army need all our guns.

  Winston Churchill : All the same, every man in the Home Guard must be armed with some kind of weapon. Even if it be an ancient one, like a pike.

  General : Yes Sir. Very good, Sir.

  [Leaves and returns with a pike] 

  General : There we are, Sir. I've had 250,000 pikes made.

  Winston Churchill : You've... done what? General, I said a weapon *like* a pike! I didn't literally mean a pike - pike was just an example!

  General : Ah.

  Winston Churchill : Honestly! If I told you to go and jump off a cliff...

  [the General gets up and leaves] 

  Winston Churchill : ... would you?

  [Notices that the General has left] 

  Winston Churchill : He's gone to jump off a cliff.