Bullet Train Down (2022) User Reviews

For a movie from The Asylum it could have been worse...

[paul_haakonsen · 4/10 · 28 January 2023]

When I saw the title of this 2022 movie, I must admit that my thoughts were immediately 'okay, The Asylum is now cashing in on the Bullet Train movie'. Yet, I still opted to give "Bullet Train Down" a chance, on the account of it being a movie that I hadn't seen, nor actually ever heard about prior to sitting down to watch.

And my initial thoughts were true, because this movie was The Asylum cashing in on the Brad Pitt movie "Bullet Train", except they also rip off "Speed". Yeah, the storyline in "Bullet Train Down" is a blantant rip off of the old Keanu Reeves movie "Speed", except this story takes place on a bullet train and not on a bus. So much for originality from writer Alex Heerman, huh?

While The Asylum definitely have a lot of dubious movies to their name, then I will honestly say that "Bullet Train Down" wasn't all that bad. Cheesy and corny, sure, but it was watchable and entertaining enough for the cheese that it was. Not exactly a great movie, mind you.

The acting performances in the movie were somewhat all over the place. Some of the actors and actresses couldn't muster a performance that would fool a blind man, while others were doing all the heavy lifting and carrying the movie almost singlehandedly. Rashod Freelove definitely carried the movie with his performance, alongside with Xander Bailey. Tom Sizemore was the only familiar face for me on the cast list, but his acting in this movie was just laughably bad and wooden.

Visually then "Bullet Train Down" was actually an okay movie, especially taking into consideration some of the numerous older movies that The Asylum have been churning out. Sure, you're not in for a CGI spectacle here, but the CGI effects worked well enough in favor of the movie. However, it should be noted that you will not buy into believing that the movie ever took place inside a train, because the sets were just so horribly amateurish and looked like they cleared out someone's living room and built up what was supposed to be the cabin of a bullet train. It just didn't fool anyone.

"Bullet Train Down" is the type of movie that you will watch once, then shelf it, forget about and never bring it out to see the light of day ever again.

My rating of director Brian Novak's 2022 movie "Bullet Train Down" lands on a four out of ten stars.

improvement on quality, but still lacks something

[LetsReviewThat26 · 4/10 · 1 August 2022]

Asylums newest movie is a parody of the title with brad pitt, with elements of speed mixed in. Ill say one thing. The quality is actually pretty good, the train interior and some of the camera shots are shot quite nicely. Acting was ok and the cgi stills has elements that made me laugh. The problem I found with this film though really was just the story. I just didn't find it as interesting as the creature ones. But having said that its still and interesting watch with some surprises along the way.

Speed 3

[sahlgoode · 3/10 · 27 January 2023]

Without any huge Hollywood stars. Bad CGI. Predictable plot. (Spoiler alert......the character with two names in the credits is the bad guy)

There's a billionaire that cares about peoples lives. Sizemore could have phoned in his part. Evacuation of the rear cars didn't seem to create a seating shortage in the forward compartments.

Plenty of stock footage of emergency equipment. A police escort for a.motorcade that had nothing to do with the plot. Police cars driving down residential streets. Emergency vehicles gathering on parcade rooftops. None of which seemed to play into the scenario.

You won't be missing anything if you skip this one.

Rotten from concept through script to the acting, set design and anything else

[webshed · 1/10 · 24 October 2023]

This movie is near comical in terms of its concept, scripting, above all else the acting is pathetically hammy, and the sets are as crass as everything else. Its a case of almost 90 minutes of your life that you'll never get back. The very idea that the US could have a train that ran at more than 150mph is laughable to begin with - even their Amtrak Acela can barely reach 150mph for short periods. The crassness of the storyline and script are only complimented by the crassness of the acting. The lead characters are weak and the very idea that anyone could crawl upon the smooth roof of a train travelling in excess of 200mph is as plausible as the fact that Bambi is a kitten.

Why the curtains... on a train?

[marccarolan · 1/10 · 10 January 2023]

Okay so to start, why is the flight sim joystick controlling the bullet train? Second, cgi is TERRIBLE. Third, please just.. don't watch this. And also, why is the acting so just.. mashed together? The asylum's movies are so bad, like meteor moon and tarantulava, but this. THIS is the worst. And why are the sets so cheap? Yet they make it like a blockbuster. So if you were about to hit play on your tv to watch this, I suggest not. It's a waste of time and money. Really, this movie is the bottom of the bargain bin. AND THERES MORE. The landscaping is so off from where it's meant to take place. Anyways, bye.

Bullet train to the brain.

[mark.waltz · 2/10 · 22 April 2023]

It isn't the speed of the train rolling your eyes to the back of your head, but the ridiculous dialog and obnoxious characterizations of practically everybody in this movie, a rip-off of a Brad Pitt blockbuster, involving a speeding train with major speed capabilities that are threatened with destruction should the train go under a certain mph thanks to a bomb aboard on the maiden voyage. This seems to be obsessed with pushing social media and the most cliched and ridiculous of modern narcissist behaviors, evidenced through the vapid young characters with fried brains doing nothing but taking selfies and posting them while arguing.

A tiny model train is supposed to represent the passenger train, a genuine laugh that occurs during the opening scene where the unseen villain shows what will happen to the rest of the train should inventor Xavier Bailey not pay what the saboteurs are demanding. This of course leads to arguments over keeping the train going at its speed or stopping, which makes the supposedly ultra smart engineers and conductors sound like absolute idiots. The action is non-stop, but the presentation heavy handed and difficult to stomach after a while. If Asylum films have accomplished anything, it's convincing the rest of the world that American society is vapid, pathetic and totally self involved. American viewers should be spared such representation with ridiculous trash like this distorting society. Save yourself the agony. Take "The Big Bus" (1976) instead.

The worst film - Do not download

[nauladilan · 1/10 · 26 February 2023]

This is a low budget film and not get any interest. Also the actors can not act well. The funniest thing is the FBI part. There is a bus infront of the FBI office. And also that bus is going every time. That means that clip is a repeated one. Do not get this film. Not recommend at all. Also there was a bomb :D. Funny thing is that bomb can see any one in the sky lol. Even train has a bomb there is no any police department, FBI vehicles or any forces except airforce. Also FBI man is drinking some thing every time. I thing that one is also a repeated clip. Script is also not ok. I have watched something similar to this film and that film is a great one. Again do not watch this.

Speeding fine for this movie

[npjy83 · 1/10 · 18 October 2023]

The premise of this movie would entice the Speed franchise movie lovers to be a magnet to this movie. Speed 1 the original, was amazing. Speed 2, not so much. If anyone has seen the Irish TV show 'Father Ted', where they created an episode called "Speed 3", then that episode is by far, better than this movie.

The special effects look like something that was made on a mobile phone app on a free trial license. The acting was atrocious and not only in dialogue, but in action as well. The story line is trying to grab the attention to be the next "Speed 3" (or Speed 4) in that franchise, but it should be kept far away from it.

Also... for a train carrying 140 people over 6 carriages, there are only 10 actors in the movie.... really surprised that Tom Sizemore agreed to do this.

The train also looked fake. Why would you have shutters / curtains down / drawn on a train in broad day light? My theory is, because it's filmed in a studio with very low budget and they couldn't afford an actual train to film inside.

Worse than Speed 2.

Not good in any way shape or form

[kensmit-77484 · 1/10 · 12 October 2023]

If you got nothing else to do, please try and find something to do so you don't have to watch this film..its so bad that it's quite funny ...acting terrible...script...wooden...and the sets are laughable, the inaugural journey of a fast train, and you get about 10 passengers on it , of which some of them dont even speak, but just make weird faces of being frightened, and how can a baddy fall out of a train thats doing over 200 mph, somehow gets back on the train to fight the good guy , and all he has is a scratch on his face The FBI bloke is terrible, except at drinking coffee all the time, and his sidekick is no better and what the bloke behind him is doing , well its laughable.

Yawn, not really that exciting

[roseliya · 1/10 · 21 February 2023]

Well I guess if you have nothing better to do. Not great acting, not great script, not really that exciting. Kind of boring & predictable. The only reasonable acting was from Rashod Freelove. Of course I guess they used this title to make it sound like the much better movie that Brad Pitt was in. So you think it's going to be something good, but in the end rather mediocre. So now I just have to add some irrelevant lines to make sure to fill out another bunch of characters to add up to 600 characters for no good reason. Nothing left to say about the movie. Dont waste your time unless you want to suffer! Sorry to hear about Tom Sizemore's condition. Hope he recovers.

Better Than Reviews Here Would Suggest

[stuart-wise · 7/10 · 15 January 2024]

I watched this movie on YouTube and most of the comments there would have merited a rating of 8-10 here. Yet if you believe the reviews on IMDB, you would think you were watching two different movies. Given "Bullet Train Down" is an Asylum movie, I lowered my expectations. They usually are a semi-ripoff of a blockbuster and in this case, there is some similarities to "Speed." However, that won't interfere with enjoying the movie what with the tension and some surprises along the way. Admittedly, some of the exposition was hard to believe, but so what, it's only a movie and it's there for our enjoyment. I give it a 7 mainly because of some of the plot turns that seem to come out of nowhere and because of the unoriginal basic plot.

100$ budget on this youtube video?

[llVIU · 2/10 · 12 February 2023]

Okay, a narrative about something something a train, and forgive me if this is a spoiler, but... they die if the train stops. Not ground breaking, kinda boring actually... but what is the deal with the budget in this "movie"? It feels like a cheap group youtube video, the actors are so bad, the props are so bad, everything feels so cheap. Especially the writing. 30 minutes in and I couldn't take it anymore, there wasn't a SINGLE line of dialogue that was funny, interesting or clever in any way at at all, it was just dead text on a paper. And some "WTF" moments that make absolutely no sense at all like rocks randomly flying into the train for no reason at all. How? Why? What? Loud bomb noises in the back of the train "uh what was that noise, was it a bomb?" idiot kid says "BOMB????" why are these people so dumb. Then some other guy says "it's ok, the train would stop if there was something bad" oh you mean apart from a window shattering and a loud bomb explosion and train shaking, or the person in front of you bleeding, yeah everything is perfectly fine. I just want to grab these people and strangle them for being so dumb. And the dialogues are so unnatural too. Even the premise is unnatural, people acting all amazed at a train going 200 mph.... woohoo... who cares. Go in europe or asia if you wanna go on a fast train. Ok maybe not europe. Really, a plane can go way faster and fly but you don't see people being amazed at that (anymore) at least not for the last 50-100 years. It's just a train, calm down.

I will give it credit for a scene where a person gets strangled and they actually struggle instead of just immediately dying without any problems. I can't give it 1 star since i didn't see any blatant sexism/racism/etc... at least not yet, i quit after 30 minutes.

But hey maybe the "movie" works if you wanna get down with your friends and watch a laughingly bad movie and make fun of it. How many bad things can you spot?

Worst action mockbuster movie ever

[wedfan-52803 · 3/10 · 29 April 2024]

I watched bullet train down on amazon prime today I found the film very crap with cheap sci-fi channel graphics and it had no story to the film and the scenes were awful with film focus on a high speed train and it had z list actors in the movie and the scene I liked were the Afghan army veteran fights with gun man to save the train from crashing that scene well scripted and cheap stunts and it was so boring watching owner of the train jack gets kidnapped by the gunman they were no dialogue from the z list actors and it was a cheap copy of brad Pitt bullet train film from 2022 and it was the worst movie I have ever watched.