- Nostalgia Critic: Grab your vintage Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles box of cookies, and enjoy the show.
- [tries to eat one and spits it out in disgust]
- Nostalgia Critic: [about the way Splinter defeats Shredder in the first movie] Bullshit! What kind of battle was that?
- Nostalgia Critic: [about the club scene in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze]
- Nostalgia Critic: Gee it looks like they're pretty freak out about all those monsters breaking into their club.
- Nostalgia Critic: But wait a minute.
- Nostalgia Critic: I think The Ice is feeling something.
- Nostalgia Critic: I think he's conjuring up a rap.
- Nostalgia Critic: A sort of "Ninja Rap" if you will.
- Nostalgia Critic: He is !
- Nostalgia Critic: Look at that !
- Nostalgia Critic: A totally unrehearsed yet somehow totally choreographed rap scene entirely made up on the fly.
- Nostalgia Critic: What talent.
- Nostalgia Critic: I gotta tell you this guy is going places.
- Nostalgia Critic: Like the unemployment line.
- [the first TMNT movie had a huge amount of violence and swearing, while the second one, a more kid-friendly film, tones this all down]
- Nostalgia Critic: Never let Spike Lee direct a children's movie.
- [note: the actual director was John Singleton]
- Nostalgia Critic: [about Super Shredder] Jesus Christ, look at that. That is a bad-ass villain. Alright, this is gonna make up for the shitty climax in the last movie. Four mutant turtles versus one giant mutant Shredder. This is gonna be good.
- [watches Super Shredder's defeat; goes ballistic and screams]
- Nostalgia Critic: WHAT THE FUCK?