Glee (TV Series)

Never Been Kissed (2010)

Chris Colfer: Kurt Hummel

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kurt Hummel : Hey! I am talking to you!

  Dave Karofsky : Girls' locker room is next door.

  Kurt Hummel : What is your problem?

  Dave Karofsky : Excuse me?

  Kurt Hummel : What are you so scared of?

  Dave Karofsky : Besides you sneaking in here to peek at my junk?

  Kurt Hummel : Oh, yeah, every straight guy's nightmare that all of us gays are secretly out to molest and convert you. Well, guess what, ham hock? You're not my type!

  Dave Karofsky : That right?

  Kurt Hummel : Yeah, I don't dig on chubby boys who sweat too much and are going to be bald by the time they're thirty.

  Dave Karofsky : Do not push me, Hummel.

  Kurt Hummel : You going to hit me? Do it.

  Dave Karofsky : Don't push me!

  Kurt Hummel : Hit me, 'cause it's not going to change who I am. You can't punch the gay out of me anymore than I can punch the ignoramus out of you!

  Dave Karofsky : I said get out of my face!

  Kurt Hummel : You are nothing but a scared little boy who can't handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are!

  [Karofsky kisses Kurt] 

• Blaine : Excuse me?

  Dave Karofsky : Hey, lady boys. This your boyfriend, Kurt?

  Blaine : Kurt and I would like to talk to you about something.

  Dave Karofsky : I gotta go to class.

  Blaine : Kurt told me what you did.

  Dave Karofsky : Oh yeah? What's that?

  Kurt Hummel : You kissed me.

  Dave Karofsky : I don't know what you're talking about.

  Blaine : It seems you might be a little confused, and that's totally normal. This is a... a very hard thing to come to terms with, and you should just know that you're not alone.

  [Karofsky pushes Blaine against the wall] 

  Dave Karofsky : Do not mess with me.

  [Kurt pushes Karofsky off] 

  Kurt Hummel : You have to stop this!

  [Karofsky leaves] 

  Blaine : Well, he's not coming out anytime soon.

• Blaine Anderson : I take it you're having trouble at school.

  Kurt Hummel : I'm the only person out of the closet at my school. And I... I... I tried to stay strong about it, but... there's this Neanderthal who's made it his mission to make my life a living hell. And nobody seems to notice.

  Blaine Anderson : I know how you feel. I got taunted at my old school, and it really... pissed me off. I even complained about it to the faculty, and they were sympathetic and all, but you could just tell that... nobody really cared. It was, like, "Hey, if you're gay, your life's just gonna be miserable. Sorry. Nothing we can do about it." So I left, and I came here. Simple as that. So you have two options. I mean, I'd love to tell you to just come enroll here, but tuition at Dalton's sort of steep, and I... I know that's not an option for everybody. Or... you can refuse to be the victim. Prejudice is just ignorance, Kurt, and you have a chance right now to teach him.

  Kurt Hummel : How?

  Blaine Anderson : Confront him. Call him out. I ran, Kurt. I didn't stand up. I let bullies chase me away, and it is something that I really, really regret.

• Kurt Hummel : It's very civilized for you to invite me for coffee before you beat me up for spying.

  Wes : We are not going to beat you up.

  David : You were such a terrible spy, we thought it was sort of... endearing.

  Blaine Anderson : Which made me think that spying on us wasn't really the reason you came.

  Kurt Hummel : Can I ask you guys a question? Are you guys all gay?

  [Blaine, Wes, and David all share a laugh] 

  Blaine Anderson : Uh, uh, no. I mean, I am, but these two have girlfriends.

  David : This is not a gay school. We just have a zero tolerance harassment policy.

  Wes : Everybody gets treated the same, no matter what they are. It's pretty simple.

• Kurt Hummel : What is your problem?

  Dave Karofsky : You talking back to me? You want a piece of The Fury?

  Kurt Hummel : The Fury?

  Dave Karofsky : That's what I named my fist.

  Kurt Hummel : Well, with that level of creativity, you could easily become assistant manager at a rendering plant.

  Dave Karofsky : I don't know what that is, but if I find out it's bad, The Fury's gonna find you.

• Will Schuester : Is there anything that I could do?

  Kurt Hummel : No. This my hill to climb alone.

  Will Schuester : Can I be honest? I think it's getting to you. Usually this stuff rolls right off your back, but lately you've been belligerent, angry, pushing people away.

  Kurt Hummel : Can I be honest with you? You, like everyone else at this school, are too quick to let homophobia slide. And your lesson plans are boring and repetitive. Boys versus girls? That doesn't challenge any of us.

  Will Schuester : You mean because I didn't let you join the girls like you wanted?

  Kurt Hummel : To answer your question, yes, I'm unhappy. And yes, being the only out gay kid at this school gets me down. But most of all, I'm not challenged in the least here.

• Will Schuester : Look, I'm not tossing the baby out with the bath water here.

  Brittany S. Pierce : I've totally done that.

  Will Schuester : We're just making an adjustment. Boys, you are now doing songs traditionally sung by girl groups. And girls, try some classic rock; uh, the Who, the Stones. The more opposite your choice, the more points you get.

  Kurt Hummel : [huddling with the boys]  Don't worry, gentlemen. I have this one under control.

• Kurt Hummel : Now, obviously, for this medley to work, I'm going to have to sing lead, and, of course, when you're singing Diana Ross, Bob Mackie-esque maribou feather boas are a must.

  Artie Abrams : Isn't this lesson about opposites? I mean, you in sequined gown and feather boa is exactly what you'd expect.

  Kurt Hummel : Okay, who said anything about a gown?

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Uh, dude, why don't you make yourself useful and go put some rat poison in the old folks' Jell-O, or visit the garglers?

  Kurt Hummel : The Warblers.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Whatever. See what they're up to. And you can wear all the feathers you want. You'll blend right in.