Glee (TV Series)

A Very Glee Christmas (2010)

Matthew Morrison: Will Schuester

Photos 

Quotes 

• Will Schuester : Oh, good to see you, Kurt.

  [gesturing to a leaving Blaine] 

  Will Schuester : Someone special?

  Kurt Hummel : No, just a friend. But on the upside, I'm in love with him, and he's actually gay. I call that progress.

• Will Schuester : [finding Sue in his apartment]  How... how did you get in here?

  Sue Sylvester : Oh, I had a key made ages ago.

• Sue Sylvester : How do you like your tree?

  Will Schuester : Uh, it's... it's... it's beautiful. Wha... what's going on? What's with all the presents?

  Sue Sylvester : Well, you remember that old meanie who stole all that stuff out of the choir room? Well, she's sorry.

  Will Schuester : Really? And what made her chage her mind?

  Sue Sylvester : I don't know. Call it a Christmas miracle and we'll leave it at that. Now, I know a lot of these gifts are for orphans or something, but, uh... I got you something special.

  [he looks at her suspiciously as she hands over a gift] 

  Sue Sylvester : It's okay, it's not going to explode.

  [opening the box, he finds an electric razor] 

  Sue Sylvester : [looking at his head of hair]  I thought you might want to put all of us out of our misery and shave off that Chia Pet.

• Will Schuester : The tree really does look great.

  Sue Sylvester : Well, Santa had some helpers.

  [she blows her whistle, and the Glee kids all enter] 

  Rachel Berry : No one should be alone on Christmas Eve, Mr. Schuester.

• Rachel Berry : Now that you're divorced and Ms. Pillsbury married another guy, I guess you'll be spending Christmas Eve alone.

  Will Schuester : Yes, Rachel, I am.

  Rachel Berry : Well, I know how painful being alone can feel, so if you want, you can come over to my house. We're going to eat Chinese and watch "The Main Event".

  Will Schuester : Thanks, Rachel. I think I'm gonna pass. Nothing wrong with being alone.

  Tina Cohen-Chang : [entering the choir room, everyone stops in their tracks]  Artie.

  Artie Abrams : [standing up, wearing a mechanical contraption]  It's called a ReWalk. Some guy in Israel invented it. I can't use it all the time, but... check me out.

  Quinn Fabray : [he presses a control buttton, then takes a few steps forward]  Where did you get it?

  Brittany S. Pierce : We went home and it was sitting under my Christmas tree.

  Sam Evans : How the hell did you afford that thing?

  Brittany S. Pierce : I didn't buy it. I didn't know what it was. I thought it was Transformer.

  Artie Abrams : I assumed her dad got it for me, but he has no idea where it came from. He went to take a long poop, and when he came back, it was there.

  Rachel Berry : So if no one we know bought it for you, then...

  Brittany S. Pierce : Santa brought it.

• Quinn Fabray : I'm gonna look terrible.

  Tina Cohen-Chang : Shut up. With your bone structure, you could rock the "Rosemary's Baby" look and still look good. I'm gonna look like Jackie Chan.

  Rachel Berry : If Barbara can pull off a bob, so can I.

  Santana Lopez : Enough yapping. Let's do this.

  Will Schuester : [entering]  Whoa! Whoa! What are you guys doing?

  Mercedes Jones : We're going all "Gift of the Magi" to raise money to buy homeless kids those school supplies.

  Sam Evans : The guys are gonna sell their watches and the girls are gonna sell off their hair.

  Will Schuester : You can't do that.

  Santana Lopez : Oh, no, it's cool. Most of this isn't mine, anyways.

  Will Schuester : No, I mean that's not the answer. There are other ways to raise money at Christmastime.

• Will Schuester : I think I can tell who wrapped that. Who's it for?

  Emma Pillsbury-Howell : Oh, Sue. I drew her as my Secret Santa.

  Will Schuester : Wait a minute. That's not possible. Sue's my Secret Santa.

  Shannon Beiste : No, Sue's my Secret Santa.

  Sue Sylvester : [in her office]  I'm everybody's Secret Santa. Yeah, you can just drop those wherever.

• Emma Pillsbury-Howell : You rigged Secret Santa?

  Shannon Beiste : How? It was my idea.

  Sue Sylvester : Well, you're not the only person at this school who consumes protein powder by the tubful. Remember when I told you I was taking all those science textbooks to an exorcist? Well, that's what we call a diversion.

  Emma Pillsbury-Howell : You filled your tub with your name only.

  Sue Sylvester : You're a regular Agatha Christie, except even more sexless. See, people, I hate Christmas, but I love presents. Ah, look at this. It's a track suit with a fur-lined hood for the winter months. Thanks, fella.

  Will Schuester : That was Kurt's idea.

  Sue Sylvester : [he moves to take it back]  Ah ah ah, William. These gifts are legally mine. Now, you may or may not be aware of this, but I'm an honorary officer of the Lima Police Department, and if you take my property out of my office, I will pick up that phone and have you arrested for theft.

  Will Schuester : We are not going to let you steal Christmas, Sue.

  Emma Pillsbury-Howell : You're not gonna get away with this.

  Sue Sylvester : I think I already have.

• Will Schuester : Hey, guys. What's this?

  Finn Hudson : Oh, we're trying to get into the Christmas spirit, Mr. Schue. Christmas is totally my favorite holiday. And check out this awesome tree! I found it on the side of the road. It must have fell off some guy's car.

  Will Schuester : And the ornaments?

  Santana Lopez : The guy who lives next door finally killed off his elderly mother. And when they carted him off, they left the house, like, wide open, so... I think she was a holiday hoarder.

  Will Schuester : Uh... a-and the presents?

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : I lifted them from a display at the mall. But don't worry. They're empty.

  Will Schuester : Guys, look, I appreciate the effort, but this isn't what Christmas is supposed to be like.

  Mercedes Jones : For us, is is. This tree is like a mascot for Glee Club. We won sectionals two years in a row, and according to everyone at this school, we still suck.

• Will Schuester : Guys, no more fighting. Have any of you ever actually read "Gift of the Magi"?

  [silence] 

  Will Schuester : None of you?

  Quinn Fabray : You don't have to read "Gift of the Magi". Everybody knows what it's about.

  Will Schuester : Well, if you actually read it, you'd know what it's about.

  Santana Lopez : Yeah, I know what it's about. Life freaking sucks.

  Will Schuester : Actually, you're right. The first Christmas you remember having is the greatest day of your life. Your family's all together, there are loads of presents, cookies. The magic is alive and well. But before you know it, you grow up. Work and school and girlfriends take over and Christmas becomes more of an obligation, a reminder of what's lost instead of what's possible. And all of the trees and presents and even the mistletoe can't change that. And then when you get to my age... you're so desperate to get that magic back, you'd do anything to be able to feel how you did that first Christmas.

  Finn Hudson : So what should we do?

  Will Schuester : Put your scissors down, put your watches back on. We're gonna go out and find some people who really need some Christmas spirit, and we are gonna sing for them.

• Will Schuester : [as they watch the kids decorate the tree]  I thought you hated the holidays.

  Sue Sylvester : [Without a bite to her tone]  No, i just hate you.