Glee (TV Series)

A Very Glee Christmas (2010)

Jane Lynch: Sue Sylvester

Quotes 

• Will Schuester : [finding Sue in his apartment]  How... how did you get in here?

  Sue Sylvester : Oh, I had a key made ages ago.

• Sue Sylvester : How do you like your tree?

  Will Schuester : Uh, it's... it's... it's beautiful. Wha... what's going on? What's with all the presents?

  Sue Sylvester : Well, you remember that old meanie who stole all that stuff out of the choir room? Well, she's sorry.

  Will Schuester : Really? And what made her chage her mind?

  Sue Sylvester : I don't know. Call it a Christmas miracle and we'll leave it at that. Now, I know a lot of these gifts are for orphans or something, but, uh... I got you something special.

  [he looks at her suspiciously as she hands over a gift] 

  Sue Sylvester : It's okay, it's not going to explode.

  [opening the box, he finds an electric razor] 

  Sue Sylvester : [looking at his head of hair]  I thought you might want to put all of us out of our misery and shave off that Chia Pet.

• Will Schuester : The tree really does look great.

  Sue Sylvester : Well, Santa had some helpers.

  [she blows her whistle, and the Glee kids all enter] 

  Rachel Berry : No one should be alone on Christmas Eve, Mr. Schuester.

• Will Schuester : I think I can tell who wrapped that. Who's it for?

  Emma Pillsbury-Howell : Oh, Sue. I drew her as my Secret Santa.

  Will Schuester : Wait a minute. That's not possible. Sue's my Secret Santa.

  Shannon Beiste : No, Sue's my Secret Santa.

  Sue Sylvester : [in her office]  I'm everybody's Secret Santa. Yeah, you can just drop those wherever.

• Emma Pillsbury-Howell : You rigged Secret Santa?

  Shannon Beiste : How? It was my idea.

  Sue Sylvester : Well, you're not the only person at this school who consumes protein powder by the tubful. Remember when I told you I was taking all those science textbooks to an exorcist? Well, that's what we call a diversion.

  Emma Pillsbury-Howell : You filled your tub with your name only.

  Sue Sylvester : You're a regular Agatha Christie, except even more sexless. See, people, I hate Christmas, but I love presents. Ah, look at this. It's a track suit with a fur-lined hood for the winter months. Thanks, fella.

  Will Schuester : That was Kurt's idea.

  Sue Sylvester : [he moves to take it back]  Ah ah ah, William. These gifts are legally mine. Now, you may or may not be aware of this, but I'm an honorary officer of the Lima Police Department, and if you take my property out of my office, I will pick up that phone and have you arrested for theft.

  Will Schuester : We are not going to let you steal Christmas, Sue.

  Emma Pillsbury-Howell : You're not gonna get away with this.

  Sue Sylvester : I think I already have.

• Will Schuester : [as they watch the kids decorate the tree]  I thought you hated the holidays.

  Sue Sylvester : [Without a bite to her tone]  No, i just hate you.