Glee (TV Series)

A Very Glee Christmas (2010)

Dot-Marie Jones: Shannon Beiste

Photos 

Quotes 

• Shannon Beiste : [pretending to be Santa]  Brittany, do you remember what you asked me for for Christmas?

  Brittany S. Pierce : Yeah, I asked for Artie to be able to walk.

  Shannon Beiste : Is there anything else that you want? I mean, like, anything?

  Brittany S. Pierce : No.

  Shannon Beiste : Well, see, Santa's trying his best, but that one's a little hard.

  Brittany S. Pierce : But you're magic.

  Shannon Beiste : Sometimes what Santa wants to give a good girl like you is patience, because believe it or not, there are even some things that he can't manage. You know, there was a... a girl a little younger than you, and she was a little husky. She was always asking Santy for the same thing: to make her look more like the other girls. She wasn't asking to be pretty or nothing. But she just didn't want to stick out so much. Santa just couldn't do it. So instead, Santa gave her patience. And later on, that girl was... was glad that Santy didn't give her what she had asked him for. She... she put being husky to good use.

  Brittany S. Pierce : Was her name Ricki Lake?

  Shannon Beiste : [sighs]  The point is... I don't think I'm gonna be able to give you what you're asking for, even though I'd like to.

  Brittany S. Pierce : But, Santa...

  Shannon Beiste : I'm sorry, pumpkin. It... it's... it's just not gonna happen.

  Brittany S. Pierce : [she stands to leave]  Aren't you going to go up the chimney?

  Shannon Beiste : On dry runs, Santy uses the Isuzu.

• Will Schuester : I think I can tell who wrapped that. Who's it for?

  Emma Pillsbury-Howell : Oh, Sue. I drew her as my Secret Santa.

  Will Schuester : Wait a minute. That's not possible. Sue's my Secret Santa.

  Shannon Beiste : No, Sue's my Secret Santa.

  Sue Sylvester : [in her office]  I'm everybody's Secret Santa. Yeah, you can just drop those wherever.

• Emma Pillsbury-Howell : You rigged Secret Santa?

  Shannon Beiste : How? It was my idea.

  Sue Sylvester : Well, you're not the only person at this school who consumes protein powder by the tubful. Remember when I told you I was taking all those science textbooks to an exorcist? Well, that's what we call a diversion.

  Emma Pillsbury-Howell : You filled your tub with your name only.

  Sue Sylvester : You're a regular Agatha Christie, except even more sexless. See, people, I hate Christmas, but I love presents. Ah, look at this. It's a track suit with a fur-lined hood for the winter months. Thanks, fella.

  Will Schuester : That was Kurt's idea.

  Sue Sylvester : [he moves to take it back]  Ah ah ah, William. These gifts are legally mine. Now, you may or may not be aware of this, but I'm an honorary officer of the Lima Police Department, and if you take my property out of my office, I will pick up that phone and have you arrested for theft.

  Will Schuester : We are not going to let you steal Christmas, Sue.

  Emma Pillsbury-Howell : You're not gonna get away with this.

  Sue Sylvester : I think I already have.