- Jules thinks her relationship is in trouble after she accidentally kills some animals, Ellie gets upset with Andy when he shares "their thing" with Laurie, and Travis's girlfriend Kirsten accidentally ruins Bobby's golf concentration.
- When Grayson doesn't share Jules' sadness on a series of unfortunate but accidental events, she questions whether they're meant to be together. Meanwhile, Travis' new girlfriend throws Bobby off his golf game, and Ellie gets upset with Andy when he uses their joke on Laurie.—ABC Publicity
- NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION: EMBRACE OUR STUPID TITLE & LOSE SIX POUNDS COUGAR TOWN (WE LOVE IT!)
Bobby (Brian Van Holt) is all set to go on the PGA Tour, and he even has Diet Dr. Pepper as a sponsor. Perhaps he should tell the Diet Dr. Pepper people that. But to be fair, he did try to impress several doctors on the putting green with his Ty Webb imitation. (No money, but they liked it.) Jules (Courteney Cox) and Travis (Dan Byrd) have a little staredown concerning who has the better relationship right now, which Travis is more than happy to concede, as that's a weird competition to have with your mother. But Jules, despite Grayson (Josh Hopkins) being a "slow wuss" by not returning her "I Love You," she thinks they have a relationship like the two doves outside her window, as doves mate for life. That is, unless one of them flies right into the frying pan she stuck outside to water the plants. Jules is devastated, but Grayson tries to crack a few jokes about it...unsuccessfully. Jules tells him she wants everybody to cry so hard when she dies, they can't even breathe and are so distraught over losing her, they never recover. And then she runs over a squirrel. The vet refuses to bring Tuffie L'Rue back to life, and Jules isn't happy about it.
Kirsten thinks Bobby should be up on current events and gets him one of those magazines that summarizes all of the other magazines. And it works a little too well. Bobby can only think about all the bad things going on in the world, and his golf game is screwed up as a result. Travis warned her about messing in the cul-de-sac dynamic, and it comes back to bit Kirsten in the ass. Suddenly, Andy (Ian Gomez) and Ellie (Christa Miller) are fighting because Andy tried one of his little in-jokes with Ellie on Laurie (Busy Philipps). Now she decides she can give Travis a scalp massage, and Andy exerts payback by giving Kirsten a neck rub. (Should have escaped when Grayson warned her.) Laurie borrows Kirsten's sweater, and Bobby is so depressed, he's sleeping on Kirsten's couch...with his shoes on.
TRAVIS: You meddled. And now they've come for you.
Jules tries to make Grayson look like a jerk by getting another squirrel and putting it in a cage. But Grayson's not fooled, especially after neighbor Tom discovers a dead squirrel in his trash. Jules apologizes because she thinks Grayson will be sad for those two animals being killed. Which he isn't. She retracts her apology and turns on her heel to walk away...and steps on a small lizard in the driveway.
Travis and Kirsten try to fix Bobby, but even more Diet Dr. Pepper (seriously, have they paid you enough money yet? Don't get me wrong; I like the stuff, but geez...) won't help him. Kirsten figures out they don't get depressed over bad news because they hear so much of it every day, it's all just white noise to them. Bobby doesn't want a noise ghost in his head, but Travis tells him to think of a noise that totally relaxes and soothes him. And if you guessed the fizzing of the Diet Dr. Pepper would be that soothing noise, winner winner chicken dinner. Sure enough, the fizz works.
BOBBY: Yeah baby! The world sucks but I don't care!
Ellie is still mad at Andy for pulling the name trick on Laurie, where he tells Laurie someone's name, and she talks to them only to get the name wrong. Andy wants to know why. Ellie explains she felt they were the doves Jules wanted Grayson and her to be like. The name thing was the single piece Ellie didn't share in the "friend prison" of the cul-de-sac crowd. Andy figures it out and comes up with a new "thing" for them: fake apology notes.
Jules is still upset about accidentally killing three small animals in a day, and Grayson finally figures out a way to help her. He makes a pet cemetery in her backyard, complete with gravestones for the dove, the squirrel, and the lizard. ("Serial killer alert!") Kirsten is creeped out about attending the funeral, but Travis reminded her she started the whole thing. Jules thinks Grayson is mocking her, but Grayson even invited the friend prison over so he can tell her he loves all the little differences between them. And he finally gives her the "I Love You".
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