Parks and Recreation (TV Series)

The Master Plan (2010)

Chris Pratt: Andy Dwyer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Andy Dwyer : That high five was your birthday present. Just kidding, hahaha, that wasn't it. I got you something else. I wrote you a song.

  April Ludgate : Really? What's it called?

  Andy Dwyer : Not telling, but I'll give you a clue. It's named after a month out of the year.

  April Ludgate : So, April?

  Andy Dwyer : No... that would have been way better.

• Andy Dwyer : Let me ask you a quick question: what's the youngest a girl can be that if uh, we go out, I'm not a total scumbag?

  Tom Haverford : You know the old rule. Half your age plus seven.

  Andy Dwyer : Half my age, plus seven. Oh, okay. Well I'm 29, so half of... 29, add seven... that's only 20, is...

  Tom Haverford : Twenty...

  Andy Dwyer : 20 years old.

  Tom Haverford : ...one.

  Andy Dwyer : 21.

  Tom Haverford : and a half.

  Andy Dwyer : Yep.

  Tom Haverford : Yep.

  Andy Dwyer : We got the same thing with the equation on that one. Here's the thing, what if she's slightly younger? Can I go out with someone younger than that?

  Tom Haverford : Please! You totally can!

  Andy Dwyer : Yeah!

  [In confessional] 

  Andy Dwyer : Tom says it's okay!... That probably means it isn't okay.

• Andy Dwyer : [after April snubs him and hangs out with Jean-Ralphio at her birthday party because she was jealous of Ann flirting with Andy]  I thought she liked me. I guess I'm super bad at picking up signals. But that Ralph Macchio guy is a total douche.