Mary Kay Place: Loretta Haggers

Quotes 

• Loretta Haggers : I've been thinkin' that when I become a superstar, y'know, and the money all starts to roll in and everything, that we shouldn't spend it all on ourselves, you know? We should give it to other people and spend it on charity. Then I got this real good idea that we should open a refuge for unwed, pregnant country-western singers.

  Charlie Haggers : You are just too good and kind.

  Loretta Haggers : Oh, I can just see that refuge now. I mean, I can just see all these, y'know, little teenage pregnant girls with their little stomachs poochin' out, singin' four-part harmony, "I don't know who your daddy is / but all the men I know are sweet."

  Charlie Haggers : That's an inspirin' picture.

• Charlie Haggers : I've got to tell you something, serious, about the baby.

  Loretta Haggers : Well, the baby's all right, I mean... ?

  Charlie Haggers : Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, baby's fine, honey. Baby's fine. Only thing is, Mrs. Ferguson is having it.

  Loretta Haggers : Mrs. Ferguson? Who's Mrs. Ferguson?

  Charlie Haggers : She's the woman that's having the baby.

  Loretta Haggers : Well, we can both have babies, can't we?

  Charlie Haggers : Yeah, well, not this time, honey, not in this case. What you had is something else.

  Loretta Haggers : What?

  Charlie Haggers : You had a fibroid tumor.

  Loretta Haggers : A fibroid tumor?

  Charlie Haggers : But it's all right. The doctor called it benign.

  Loretta Haggers : Benign? I wanted to call it Charlie Haggers, Jr.