Community (TV Series)

Environmental Science (2009)

Ken Jeong: Ben Chang

Photos 

Quotes 

• Señor Chang : Let me rest gently on your pecs.

• Señor Chang : Pencils down.

  [observes Annie still writing, walks to Annie's desk, clears throat, drags Annie's desk with Annie into the hallway and closes door] 

  Señor Chang : I want you all to write a one-page essay, in espanol, entitled, "Annie's Mistake."

  Pierce Hawthorne : Why doesn't Annie have to write it?

  Señor Chang : Okay, two pages, entitled, "The Consequences of Questioning Authority."

  Shirley Bennett : This is spanish 101. I know how to say "hello," "tomorrow," and that tables are female. That's the only spanish you taught us.

  Señor Chang : Oh, six pages on ignorance.

  Britta Perry : Guys, put your hands down. Senor Chang, please continue. We respect your authority.

  Señor Chang : Thank you, Britta. 20 pages on ass kissing! Due on Monday.

  Annie Edison : [from outside the classroom]  This Monday?

• Señor Chang : I pleasured that woman greatly.

  Jeff Winger : Yeah. You look like you would have to. I'm not surprised you said that.

  Señor Chang : I like you, Winger. Pickled bull testicle?

  Jeff Winger : Uh, are you offering or collecting?

• Señor Chang : [knocks]  What do you want, Winger? Here to complain about the homework on behalf of the class?

  Jeff Winger : Can I ask you a personal question, Señor Chang?

  Señor Chang : [laughs]  Okay, Freud. Sure. You try to penetrate my psychological armor, and...

  Jeff Winger : Did your wife leave you?

  Señor Chang : Holy...

  [gasps] 

  Señor Chang : How did you know?

  Jeff Winger : Well, when you pick juries, you learn to read the little stuff. Same shirt twice in one week. Teaching us the word "esposa" means "liar." The picture of you with a woman with a post-it note dialogue balloon above her head that says, "enjoy it while it lasts."

• Señor Chang : The difference between 'usted' and 'tu' is a matter of formality. Pepe, usted es viejo. "you are old." Alberto, usted es feo. "you are ugly."

  Shirley Bennett : No, you're not, Abed.

  Abed Nadir : Thanks.

  Señor Chang : Shakira... Shakira... y Tupaco... west side... ustedes estan sucios. "you are dirty."

  Troy Barnes : [angrily]  Dude!

  Señor Chang : Still formal, but plural. Because, while both are dirty, neither are my friends. Okay?

• Señor Chang : Here you go. Look at Pierce's paragraph from unit two.

  Jeff Winger : Let's see. "I took a computer class at tiende de manzana..." The apple store. Adorable.

  Señor Chang : Keep going, keep going.

  Jeff Winger : And the saleswoman had manzanas gigante. Ruined it.

  Señor Chang : Can you imagine being married to him?

  Jeff Winger : Seven times! Seven different women agreed to marry that guy. It's cra--

  [laughing] 

  Señor Chang : [high-pitched sobbing]  I'm so alone. I'm so lonely! I want to die.

  Jeff Winger : Come on man, it... Come on, don't do that.

  Señor Chang : [catching his breath]  I... Just miss her so much.

  Jeff Winger : Yeah.

  Señor Chang : [sobbing]  I'm sorry. This is so stupid.

  Jeff Winger : No, no, it's fine. It's just... buddy, you know...

  Señor Chang : It's dumb!

  Jeff Winger : You know I can see that you're hurting, um, but I have to get to accounting. And it's not like I'm hitting strip clubs with professor Whitman.

  Señor Chang : You better not be!

  Jeff Winger : What?

  Señor Chang : All I ask...

  [sniffles] 

  Señor Chang : is for you to keep filling the void in my soul.

  Jeff Winger : Well, I'll have to think of something.